Anger management or just mental?

[chim_knee]

Am I the only person who runs through scenarios that have wound me up, over and over? For a while after the event I run through what was said, what should have been said. etc.

This morning, for example, walking through the turnstiles at the (London - i.e. busy) train station. Now, as I approach the turnstiles I try to choose one and aim for it whether it gets busier as I approach or not. Well, this bloke decided he wanted to change his mind and swerve across to the one I was aiming at - however, we were side by side at the time. Being a relatively large chap I was able to divert his attempt by merely not giving way. He gave up and stuck with his original choice - we still ended up going through the turnstiles at the same time. As we did he muttered "thanks!" and tutted. I looked at him, puzzled and said "well, it made sense to stay where we were doesn't it?" to which he replied "no". So I called him a ing cock.

Now - I blame the heat for my outburst but he was a cock.

He replied with "oh, nice language. Good recovery"

Which I ignored and walked away.

But I have spent the most of this morning thinking I should have said "recovery from what?" or I should have stopped him and explained the concept of sticking with one turnstile so as not to get in other peoples way. I also thought that I should explain that I have as much right to use a turnstile of my chosing as he does.

All of which is pointless but I can't stop the scenarios popping in to my head. Any one got any tips for this?

[Vesuvius 996]

chim_knee said:

Am I the only person who runs through scenarios that have wound me up, over and over? For a while after the event I run through what was said, what should have been said. etc.

This morning, for example, walking through the turnstiles at the (London - i.e. busy) train station. Now, as I approach the turnstiles I try to choose one and aim for it whether it gets busier as I approach or not. Well, this bloke decided he wanted to change his mind and swerve across to the one I was aiming at - however, we were side by side at the time. Being a relatively large chap I was able to divert his attempt by merely not giving way. He gave up and stuck with his original choice - we still ended up going through the turnstiles at the same time. As we did he muttered "thanks!" and tutted. I looked at him, puzzled and said "well, it made sense to stay where we were doesn't it?" to which he replied "no". So I called him a ing cock.

Now - I blame the heat for my outburst but he was a cock.

He replied with "oh, nice language. Good recovery"

Which I ignored and walked away.

But I have spent the most of this morning thinking I should have said "recovery from what?" or I should have stopped him and explained the concept of sticking with one turnstile so as not to get in other peoples way. I also thought that I should explain that I have as much right to use a turnstile of my chosing as he does.

All of which is pointless but I can't stop the scenarios popping in to my head. Any one got any tips for this?

Drink less coffee, mate



I have an hour drive across London every day in the 911. I get cut up, people push in, I get the coffee bean shake from white van man . I just let them get on with it. It's not worth the energy!! I'm the one driving the supercar, who's the w@anker?


In your scenario, just let him push in. He's scored a pathetic little victory, you've stayed calm. You console yourself with thought that it's the only little victory he'll have today.

Chill, Winston.

Edited by Vesuvius 996 on Wednesday 26th July 10:14

Edited by Vesuvius 996 on Wednesday 26th July 10:16

[chim_knee]

Vesuvius 996 said:

Drink less coffee, mate.

That's the thing - I don't drink any caffine what-so-ever.

Maybe it's the class A's?

Edited by chim_knee on Wednesday 26th July 10:12

[minimax]

hmmm. sounds like you have self doubt over your ability to handle situations which in reality you handle quite well. I too sometimes go over situations in my head but when I realise what i'm doing I knock it on the head as it only ends up pissing you off.

I now don't give a shit about anything that has happened as I know there is nothing I can do to change it.

I suggest a coffee, cigarette (if necessary) and a gradual dawning effect that most people are

(Edited because the swear filter's there for a reason you naughty naughty boy!!)

Edited by TonyHetherington on Wednesday 26th July 10:30

[chim_knee]

minimax said:

and a gradual dawning effect that most people are cs

Edited by chim_knee on Wednesday 26th July 10:27

[equinox_1275]

chim_knee said:

Vesuvius 996 said:

Drink less coffee, mate.

That's the thing - I don't drink any caffine what-so-ever.

Maybe it's the class A's?

Edited by chim_knee on Wednesday 26th July 10:12

Yeh, that would do it

I think everyone has a certain "limit" when it comes to being stressed and the retaliations they come out with.. I always wonder about how I could have answered differently to somebody who has wound me up and play the scenarios over in my mind, but at the end of the day the moment's passed and you probably won't get the opportunity to say what you really wanted to say, so best to forget it Ways of doing this.... think about one good thing that has happened that morning or has made you smile recently and concentrate on that instead.. or play through the scenario in your mind and make sure you come out on top and looking the bigger man, then forget it. You can trick your mind into thinking that's what really happened

[minimax]

chim_knee said:

minimax said:

and a gradual dawning effect that most people are *bad word*

best lesson my father ever taught me

Edited by neil_cardiff on Wednesday 26th July 11:23

[chim_knee]

equinox_1275 said:

...think about one good thing that has happened that morning or has made you smile recently

I like that... nice idea!

[bigandclever]

chim_knee said:

minimax said:

and a gradual dawning effect that most people are

So that's the word that breaks the swear filters

edited to remove swear word

Edited by TonyHetherington on Wednesday 26th July 10:34

[julianhj]

Gazing into my crystal ball, I forsee a rapid binning/sin-binning in the pipeline...

[equinox_1275]

chim_knee said:

equinox_1275 said:

...think about one good thing that has happened that morning or has made you smile recently

I like that... nice idea!

It's very easy to let bad feelings take you over, especially if you're feeling vulnerable. Even though thinking of a nice thing isn't always the easiest thing to do, once you have it in your head, it's easier to concentrate on it... IMO of course!

[PetrolTed]

Just because the swear filter isn't working 100% it doesn't mean 'c***' is acceptable.

Anyone persisting in using it will just be binned/banned. It's childish and unnecessary.

[rude-boy]

Arr, sod it.

Things like this happen from time to time and 5 mins later you think of the brilliant cutting remark you could have made that would have left him standing there like a guppy out of water.

Then the same thing happens again a week or two later and you have the comeback right there. Priceless.

As Minimax said, life is full of cs and just take heart in the fact that you ain’t one of them.

Edited by rude-boy on Wednesday 26th July 10:35

[slikk]

Adopt a higher ground. Just live with the satisfaction of knowing that when he wakes up tomorrow, he will still be a cock (and if you see him again, push infront of him and give a cheeky smile/wink combo.)

HTH

kim

[minicity]

chim_knee said:

equinox_1275 said:

...think about one good thing that has happened that morning or has made you smile recently

I like that... nice idea!

There are 2 issues here. One is getting in a confrontation in the first place - but you didn't ask about that.

Equinox's idea is a good one. You need to distract yourself from negative thoughts as they will become a habit. Mental behaviour is very habitiual but can be changed. You can start as Equinox suggests but you can also use simple "mantras". As soon as you start to dwell on on situations like this you should repeat a phrase over and over in your head such as "cool and calm" or "here and now". Look around you for something that captures your attention such as a car mag or even an attractive woman (if you are lucky enough to have one to hand). The point is to re-focus your attention onto something current and positive. It is hard work to start with. The mental strain is rather like doing press ups every time the situation occurs, but just like doing press ups every day it will become easier and easier. The whole point behind all this is that the present is the only time that really matters - so enjoy it.

[rude-boy]

PetrolTed said:

Just because the swear filter isn't working 100% it doesn't mean 'c***' is acceptable.

Anyone persisting in using it will just be binned/banned. It's childish and unnecessary.

You have no idea how much irony there is in that post in this thread

I often write the swear word as it’s so much quicker than : censored :

Edited by rude-boy on Wednesday 26th July 11:00

[rude-boy]

Vesuvius 996 said:

I have an hour drive across London every day in the 911. I get cut up, people push in, I get the coffee bean shake from white van man . I just let them get on with it. It's not worth the energy!! I'm the one driving the supercar, who's the w@anker?

As for the poor unfortunates who seem to think that insulting the owner of a fine sports car is substitution for the fact that they will never amount to sitting in one, let alone ownership because they spent more time trying to get into Mary Hinge’s :censorded: than Cant, I now proudly display my CT On Board sign.

Edited by rude-boy on Wednesday 26th July 11:01

[Balmoral Green]

chim_knee said:

He replied with "oh, nice language. Good recovery"

Bloke on tube - 1
chim_knee - 0

[orgasmicliving!!]

Vesuvius 996 said:

I'm the one driving the supercar, who's the w@anker?

Not calling you a wanker, but are 996s really considered supercars?

[Dee Cee]

orgasmicliving!! said:

Vesuvius 996 said:

I'm the one driving the supercar, who's the w@anker?

Not calling you a wanker, but are 996s really considered supercars?

When people say "I'm not calling you a.... but...." or "I'm not being rude but...." it means they are either going to call me something or be rude.

I would consider a 996 to be a sports car.