Indian sales calls (a rant)
Discussion
"Allo, am I Punit Akshay-Singe, from this IT department, we would like to now speakings with the person who is deals with the same..."
Or something like that. Bastards have called twice today already. How on gods earth do those monkeys expect to make any sales flogging Brits with such snail paced, drawn out and abysmally poor jibberish.
And what of the manner in which they attempt communicate?!? The whole conversation 'vibe' they project makes you feel like you're wading hopelessly in the dark through a tar-pit cesspool, leading you to suppose that each of them really could be floating loftily upon his own dopecloud, chuffing away on indian wheat, totally unable (as a sales person goes) to gauge how well he is doing or how interested you are (or are not) in the tripe he is spouting.
If Indian telesalesmen were warriors, they'd be skinny one-armed wheelchair-bound featherweight Borats with marshmallow swords and back to front helmets which impaired both their vision and hearing.
Or something like that. Bastards have called twice today already. How on gods earth do those monkeys expect to make any sales flogging Brits with such snail paced, drawn out and abysmally poor jibberish.
And what of the manner in which they attempt communicate?!? The whole conversation 'vibe' they project makes you feel like you're wading hopelessly in the dark through a tar-pit cesspool, leading you to suppose that each of them really could be floating loftily upon his own dopecloud, chuffing away on indian wheat, totally unable (as a sales person goes) to gauge how well he is doing or how interested you are (or are not) in the tripe he is spouting.
If Indian telesalesmen were warriors, they'd be skinny one-armed wheelchair-bound featherweight Borats with marshmallow swords and back to front helmets which impaired both their vision and hearing.
Dibble said:
Couldn't you just have complained about a bit of dust on your sensor in the P&V forum?
Yup, theres the dust too. Bloody dust 
Thank god we dont live in India, could you imagine how dusty our sensors would be if we did, not to mention the canon after sales service. I could go on, hopefully this thread will magically reappear in the P&P instead...
UKbob said:
If Indian telesalesmen were warriors, they'd be skinny one-armed wheelchair-bound featherweight Borats with marshmallow swords and back to front helmets which impaired both their vision and hearing.
Maybe it wasn't a genuine telesales call, but instead a telesales-oriented Indian version of popular virtual-reality childrens' TV show Knightmare?"Okay, there's a man, I think he's angry..."
"Tell him you're from IT!"
"I've done it, he still seems unhappy."
Assuming it's a UK company; just go onto 'companies house' website and get the addresses of the directors and assuming their tel number is on 192.com, give 'em a friendly call for a chat at a sociable time... such as 2am?
I've done this twice now - great fun! Never tried it with an Indian accent though?
I've done this twice now - great fun! Never tried it with an Indian accent though?
Timberwolf said:
UKbob said:
If Indian telesalesmen were warriors, they'd be skinny one-armed wheelchair-bound featherweight Borats with marshmallow swords and back to front helmets which impaired both their vision and hearing.
Maybe it wasn't a genuine telesales call, but instead a telesales-oriented Indian version of popular virtual-reality childrens' TV show Knightmare?"Okay, there's a man, I think he's angry..."
"Tell him you're from IT!"
"I've done it, he still seems unhappy."
I have to agree that anyone trying to sell you something should NOT have an accent thats impossible to understand. Not really a good start is it.
john_r said:
Assuming it's a UK company; just go onto 'companies house' website and get the addresses of the directors and assuming their tel number is on 192.com, give 'em a friendly call for a chat at a sociable time... such as 2am?
I've done this twice now - great fun! Never tried it with an Indian accent though?
I've done this twice now - great fun! Never tried it with an Indian accent though?
Never forget the accent!You could try and register with http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps or http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/tps/
If you do still get calls, then just ask them for their name and company details and tell them that your going to report them to TPS.
I've just registered so it will still take time to kick in, but I've heard of people who have signed up and had the bank send them a letter to ask for permission to contact them by phone as MPS and TPS had come up on their telephone call lists.
If you do still get calls, then just ask them for their name and company details and tell them that your going to report them to TPS.
I've just registered so it will still take time to kick in, but I've heard of people who have signed up and had the bank send them a letter to ask for permission to contact them by phone as MPS and TPS had come up on their telephone call lists.
ItsTony said:
You could try and register with http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps or http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/tps/
If you do still get calls, then just ask them for their name and company details and tell them that your going to report them to TPS.
I've just registered so it will still take time to kick in, but I've heard of people who have signed up and had the bank send them a letter to ask for permission to contact them by phone as MPS and TPS had come up on their telephone call lists.
I've registered with tps/mps etc. Fecking hate those sales calls - BUT. By basing call centres outside of the UK they are under no obligation to adhere to the entirely voluntary code our lot do.If you do still get calls, then just ask them for their name and company details and tell them that your going to report them to TPS.
I've just registered so it will still take time to kick in, but I've heard of people who have signed up and had the bank send them a letter to ask for permission to contact them by phone as MPS and TPS had come up on their telephone call lists.
I have two views on this:
1) I hate telesales calls at home in the evening with a vengeance. I get enough of them at work. I'm sorry - I'm not going to buy anything over the fecking phone from someone I don't know from Adam and if I can't understand you there's a good chance I'll just hang up.
2) If I WAS going to buy something from a telesales call from a call centre I'd want to do it from a Call Centre based in the UK employing British Citizens who are at least being paid something for their work and who I can generally understand - except for the ones from Newcastle - and with whom I have a reasonable cultural understanding - except for the ones from Newcastle, obviously.
This is why my telephone answering machine says this:
"Hello. You are through to the house of Mr and Mrs Don. If you are in Direct Sales please hang up now. Otherwise - leave us a message!"
Had one the other week, calling from Three Sales. Caught me out at first, as I have a contract with 3.
Within about 5 seconds it was apparent they were trying to flog me another contract, but they werent actually from 3, they didnt know my mobile number or account number. I asked them to give me the last 4 digits of both before I took the call any further, they couldnt do it and didnt ask me for any other ID than "are you the account holder" so they were treated to some very loud music with me saying "Cant hear you mate" til they put the phone down
Hoping I didnt make the black list of "autodial at 2am" but there's always the answer machine to deal with that
Within about 5 seconds it was apparent they were trying to flog me another contract, but they werent actually from 3, they didnt know my mobile number or account number. I asked them to give me the last 4 digits of both before I took the call any further, they couldnt do it and didnt ask me for any other ID than "are you the account holder" so they were treated to some very loud music with me saying "Cant hear you mate" til they put the phone down
Hoping I didnt make the black list of "autodial at 2am" but there's always the answer machine to deal with that
tbops said:
Just say "theri mah de phudi" or "hello mah chaud" and for once they will put the phone down on you. I do it all the time and as there not allowed to speak indian back the just put the phone down.
I used to use this tactic. Not speaking any Indian dialect however I opted for using the language of my homeland...Welsh.Its very effective. Especially phrases along the lines of
NoWayAmITranslatingThatFilth said:
Apart from that one time in Oxford with the American from Pennysylvania.Where they happen (in some towns that preserve the immigrants heritage) to speak Welsh.
UKbob said:
tbops said:
Just say "theri mah de phudi" or "hello mah chaud" and for once they will put the phone down on you. I do it all the time and as there not allowed to speak indian back the just put the phone down.
What does it mean, oh swami?"hello mah chaud" = hello mother
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