I am an Office Worker!
Discussion
I spend all day flicking between microsoft Excel and the internet, depending on who's behind me.
I take great pride in discovering new formulas in Excel.
I actively hate people who don't know how to format word documents correctly.
I drink a MASSIVE cup of coffee before I start doing any work, then check autotrader/bbc/This!, then it's lunchtime. Then I grab some microsleep at my desk and go home.
No one notices it when I fall asleep in meetings, because I'm really good at hiding it. They just think I'm nodding in agreement.
I've just been to a meeting about how we're having too many meetings.
FINANCE!
The most exciting part of the month is when my stationery order comes in.
I'm suspicious of people eyeing up my highlighter pens.
I have a crush on the girl who goes to the watercooler at 10.30 every day, but I'll never, EVER get beyond saying 'Hi' to her and smiling like a cracked mug.
This girl isn't even pretty. I only fancy her because she's female and I'm going insane because
I'M AN OFFICE WORKER
I take great pride in discovering new formulas in Excel.
I actively hate people who don't know how to format word documents correctly.
I drink a MASSIVE cup of coffee before I start doing any work, then check autotrader/bbc/This!, then it's lunchtime. Then I grab some microsleep at my desk and go home.
No one notices it when I fall asleep in meetings, because I'm really good at hiding it. They just think I'm nodding in agreement.
I've just been to a meeting about how we're having too many meetings.
FINANCE!
The most exciting part of the month is when my stationery order comes in.
I'm suspicious of people eyeing up my highlighter pens.
I have a crush on the girl who goes to the watercooler at 10.30 every day, but I'll never, EVER get beyond saying 'Hi' to her and smiling like a cracked mug.
This girl isn't even pretty. I only fancy her because she's female and I'm going insane because
I'M AN OFFICE WORKER
WazzaL said:
I actively hate people who don't know how to format word documents correctly.
This is one of my pet bugbears too.A couple of years ago I spent seven months being paid plenty per hour on a contract and the only useful work I did was to properly format two big word documents. Took two days to sort them out.
The rest of the time was mostly spent playing sudoku, which gets very very boring especially when you're also spending time watching the clock to make sure that you can charge the client more than £1k per week.
I did get very very good at sudoku but I'd be quite happy never to see another.
You my friend need Office Space on DVD.
Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob.
Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.
Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Porter: Don't... don't care?
Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime; so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Slydell: I beg your pardon?
Peter Gibbons: Eight bosses.
Bob Slydell: Eight?
Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled; that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob.
Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.
Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Porter: Don't... don't care?
Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime; so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Slydell: I beg your pardon?
Peter Gibbons: Eight bosses.
Bob Slydell: Eight?
Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled; that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
spikeyhead said:
WazzaL said:
I actively hate people who don't know how to format word documents correctly.
This is one of my pet bugbears too.A couple of years ago I spent seven months being paid plenty per hour on a contract and the only useful work I did was to properly format two big word documents. Took two days to sort them out.
The rest of the time was mostly spent playing sudoku, which gets very very boring especially when you're also spending time watching the clock to make sure that you can charge the client more than £1k per week.
I did get very very good at sudoku but I'd be quite happy never to see another.
There's got to be something in there about colleagues with verbal diarrhea somewhere... hasn't there? Or is it just me that has become the rudest b
d in existence because I can't stand my life being sapped up by some fat middle-aged bint telling me her life story? She would be the first to go, followed by the guy who asks me to do a job in five different ways while I try to nod him into submission so that I can eat my lunch in peace.
God I can't wait to get to air traffic, where rambling is akin to child molestation.
d in existence because I can't stand my life being sapped up by some fat middle-aged bint telling me her life story? She would be the first to go, followed by the guy who asks me to do a job in five different ways while I try to nod him into submission so that I can eat my lunch in peace.God I can't wait to get to air traffic, where rambling is akin to child molestation.
Gizmo535 said:
spikeyhead said:
WazzaL said:
I actively hate people who don't know how to format word documents correctly.
This is one of my pet bugbears too.
(mind you, maybe this post qualifies me for one too).
I'm happy to see that there are others driven insane by working in offices.
The constant st fightin and total head fk leads to insane rants about stoopid little things, or loopy outbursts in the workshop to release the demons. I need to drill a hole in my head - that will get them out.
I don't know a billionth about what word or excel can really do for me.
Hate me for it, go on, hate me.
The constant s
t fightin and total head fk leads to insane rants about stoopid little things, or loopy outbursts in the workshop to release the demons. I need to drill a hole in my head - that will get them out.I don't know a billionth about what word or excel can really do for me.
Hate me for it, go on, hate me.
I like looking through the stationary catalouge and seeing what I can get away with ordering.
I cant stand office politics...its like being back at school...all the people you can and cant talk to and people that wont talk to you because you in the same department as someone else, FFS its work! Just come in and do what you need to do until the end of the day!
Has anyone else noticed how in an office you can always hear some woman that laughs really loudly and has histerics at nothing...yet you can never track down who it is?!?!
I cant stand office politics...its like being back at school...all the people you can and cant talk to and people that wont talk to you because you in the same department as someone else, FFS its work! Just come in and do what you need to do until the end of the day!
Has anyone else noticed how in an office you can always hear some woman that laughs really loudly and has histerics at nothing...yet you can never track down who it is?!?!
WazzaL said:
I spend all day flicking between microsoft Excel and the internet, depending on who's behind me.
I take great pride in discovering new formulas in Excel.
I actively hate people who don't know how to format word documents correctly.
I drink a MASSIVE cup of coffee before I start doing any work, then check autotrader/bbc/This!, then it's lunchtime. Then I grab some microsleep at my desk and go home.
No one notices it when I fall asleep in meetings, because I'm really good at hiding it. They just think I'm nodding in agreement.
I've just been to a meeting about how we're having too many meetings.
FINANCE!
The most exciting part of the month is when my stationery order comes in.
I'm suspicious of people eyeing up my highlighter pens.
I have a crush on the girl who goes to the watercooler at 10.30 every day, but I'll never, EVER get beyond saying 'Hi' to her and smiling like a cracked mug.
This girl isn't even pretty. I only fancy her because she's female and I'm going insane because
I'M AN OFFICE WORKER
i dream of having such an enjoyable job as yours. no, really, i do.I take great pride in discovering new formulas in Excel.
I actively hate people who don't know how to format word documents correctly.
I drink a MASSIVE cup of coffee before I start doing any work, then check autotrader/bbc/This!, then it's lunchtime. Then I grab some microsleep at my desk and go home.
No one notices it when I fall asleep in meetings, because I'm really good at hiding it. They just think I'm nodding in agreement.
I've just been to a meeting about how we're having too many meetings.
FINANCE!
The most exciting part of the month is when my stationery order comes in.
I'm suspicious of people eyeing up my highlighter pens.
I have a crush on the girl who goes to the watercooler at 10.30 every day, but I'll never, EVER get beyond saying 'Hi' to her and smiling like a cracked mug.
This girl isn't even pretty. I only fancy her because she's female and I'm going insane because
I'M AN OFFICE WORKER
mr_spock said:
I think inability to use PowerPoint templates is a hanging offense also. Sure, just create a text box and start typing. Why would anyone need the outliner? Or the ability to change style across the presentation?
Grr.
Why do management give presentations and read "word for word" the powerpoint slides? Because they do not have the ability to talk around a few bullet points!Grr.
Death by Powerpoint! Bring back chalk and talks!
My nephew gets told to do his homework on Publisher instead of Word as it allows them to make things look better (and less professional for the real world)
I am sticking with the trusty Notepad application !!!!!!!
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