Just been suspended, disciplinary tomorrow.
Discussion
Kermit power said:
Jerry Can said:
Eric Mc said:
This is a new phenomnenon actually. Most people who move away, or even just move jobs, gradually allow old friends and aquaintances fade away as their lives are now following different paths. This has always been "the norm" and entirely natural.
its only a new phenomenon due to the requirement for worker mobility. back in the day, probably at a time you remember, most people grew up and lived and worked in the same town/area all their lives, and so never lost touch with their friends from school etc.Bookface just redresses this balance in a 21st Century kind of way.
Go back to the days of more or less a working class and a ruling class and yes, working class people would've stayed put their entire lives, whilst the ruling classes would've migrated between city and country depending on the time of year.
Move on into the 20th century though - especially the latter half of it - and the middle classes very much did have to move to get work. I grew up as a middle class kid in that era. We moved - always to move my father's career forward, and never less than 150 miles at a time - whilst my mother was pregnant with me, then again when I was 4, 11 & 15.
Now, however, despite having a very similar career to my father's, I can move jobs regularly without having to move locations. I will be able to give my kids the settled upbringing that I never had, and the only reason for this is improvements in technology which mean that I can work as part of a virtual team, rather than having to be in the same office as everyone else.
Yes, people need to be somewhere with decent transport links and broadband speed, but once you've got that, I'd say job mobility (the ability to do your job anywhere) has largely replaced worker mobility.
Same goes for my children. I sincerely hope they do not dislike moving about (not that I'm a complete gypsy) but enjoy gaining a wider view of the world. Fortunately they've not expressed their displeasure...yet!
I take it you didn't particularly like moving about.
ker?V8mate said:
chiswick67 said:
Sheets Tabuer said:
So is there anything in your T&C about social networking sites?
Don't wont to go into the long and short of it, but lets just say, there was more to this than meets the eye. I will not post full details on an open forum for obvious reasons....
Fatman2 said:
Kermit power said:
Jerry Can said:
Eric Mc said:
This is a new phenomnenon actually. Most people who move away, or even just move jobs, gradually allow old friends and aquaintances fade away as their lives are now following different paths. This has always been "the norm" and entirely natural.
its only a new phenomenon due to the requirement for worker mobility. back in the day, probably at a time you remember, most people grew up and lived and worked in the same town/area all their lives, and so never lost touch with their friends from school etc.Bookface just redresses this balance in a 21st Century kind of way.
Go back to the days of more or less a working class and a ruling class and yes, working class people would've stayed put their entire lives, whilst the ruling classes would've migrated between city and country depending on the time of year.
Move on into the 20th century though - especially the latter half of it - and the middle classes very much did have to move to get work. I grew up as a middle class kid in that era. We moved - always to move my father's career forward, and never less than 150 miles at a time - whilst my mother was pregnant with me, then again when I was 4, 11 & 15.
Now, however, despite having a very similar career to my father's, I can move jobs regularly without having to move locations. I will be able to give my kids the settled upbringing that I never had, and the only reason for this is improvements in technology which mean that I can work as part of a virtual team, rather than having to be in the same office as everyone else.
Yes, people need to be somewhere with decent transport links and broadband speed, but once you've got that, I'd say job mobility (the ability to do your job anywhere) has largely replaced worker mobility.
Same goes for my children. I sincerely hope they do not dislike moving about (not that I'm a complete gypsy) but enjoy gaining a wider view of the world. Fortunately they've not expressed their displeasure...yet!
I take it you didn't particularly like moving about.
I didn't particularly like moving at the time (although 3 years on the Med had its benefits!), but it's actually been much later that I've really come to hate it with hindsight.
I look at my own kids who are now building the sort of friendships which, given stability, should last a lifetime. They just do it naturally as part of growing up, but the more often you cut that apart, the harder it becomes to do it all over again as you progress through childhood, as you'll never have the shared experiences of the group when you're a late entrant, and the later you arrive, the more of those shared experiences there are.
Yes, it might be easier for my kids to stay in touch on social media if we did move, but at best I think it would preserve a friendship at the level it was. In reality, however, I think it would tail off and gradually fade away.
Looking back now at the age of 41, I'd trade the whole range of experience from growing up like that (which in my case includes multiple countries and languages) for somewhere I really feel like I belong without a second's hesitation.
ETA - The perfect world would've been a combination of a stable location in which to grow up as a child, followed by early adulthood to go out getting the experiences before settling down with kids (if you intend to have them), knowing I'd always got that base to come back to. I just think the downside for children, whether they know it at the time or not, massively outweighs the benefits.
Edited by Kermit power on Thursday 6th October 12:50
Kermit power said:
Fatman2 said:
Kermit power said:
Jerry Can said:
Eric Mc said:
This is a new phenomnenon actually. Most people who move away, or even just move jobs, gradually allow old friends and aquaintances fade away as their lives are now following different paths. This has always been "the norm" and entirely natural.
its only a new phenomenon due to the requirement for worker mobility. back in the day, probably at a time you remember, most people grew up and lived and worked in the same town/area all their lives, and so never lost touch with their friends from school etc.Bookface just redresses this balance in a 21st Century kind of way.
Go back to the days of more or less a working class and a ruling class and yes, working class people would've stayed put their entire lives, whilst the ruling classes would've migrated between city and country depending on the time of year.
Move on into the 20th century though - especially the latter half of it - and the middle classes very much did have to move to get work. I grew up as a middle class kid in that era. We moved - always to move my father's career forward, and never less than 150 miles at a time - whilst my mother was pregnant with me, then again when I was 4, 11 & 15.
Now, however, despite having a very similar career to my father's, I can move jobs regularly without having to move locations. I will be able to give my kids the settled upbringing that I never had, and the only reason for this is improvements in technology which mean that I can work as part of a virtual team, rather than having to be in the same office as everyone else.
Yes, people need to be somewhere with decent transport links and broadband speed, but once you've got that, I'd say job mobility (the ability to do your job anywhere) has largely replaced worker mobility.
Same goes for my children. I sincerely hope they do not dislike moving about (not that I'm a complete gypsy) but enjoy gaining a wider view of the world. Fortunately they've not expressed their displeasure...yet!
I take it you didn't particularly like moving about.
I didn't particularly like moving at the time (although 3 years on the Med had its benefits!), but it's actually been much later that I've really come to hate it with hindsight.
I look at my own kids who are now building the sort of friendships which, given stability, should last a lifetime. They just do it naturally as part of growing up, but the more often you cut that apart, the harder it becomes to do it all over again as you progress through childhood, as you'll never have the shared experiences of the group when you're a late entrant, and the later you arrive, the more of those shared experiences there are.
Yes, it might be easier for my kids to stay in touch on social media if we did move, but at best I think it would preserve a friendship at the level it was. In reality, however, I think it would tail off and gradually fade away.
Looking back now at the age of 41, I'd trade the whole range of experience from growing up like that (which in my case includes multiple countries and languages) for somewhere I really feel like I belong without a second's hesitation.
ETA - The perfect world would've been a combination of a stable location in which to grow up as a child, followed by early adulthood to go out getting the experiences before settling down with kids (if you intend to have them), knowing I'd always got that base to come back to. I just think the downside for children, whether they know it at the time or not, massively outweighs the benefits.
Edited by Kermit power on Thursday 6th October 12:50
I've taken some of it on board as it's definitely worth consideration, given my kids are still quite young. I think that come 13/14 years of age it will be time to settle down and ensure there is that stability during the critical (exam) times so perhaps have a few more years to do some moving about.It's interesting though that you have different feelings about it. The wife moved about a lot as a child (just the length/breath of the UK though) and has enjoyed it so hence wants something similar for our kids (but wider). I guess they'll make their feelings known when they get fed up, in which case it'll be time to re-assess the master plan!
anonymous said:
[redacted]
I also had to go back a year when we came back from France when I was 15. Personally though, even if I were to move, I wouldn't do so under any circumstances after our eldest started secondary school, as that's really the last point at which kids naturally form new friendships with strangers. Anything after that is a serious uphill struggle.singlecoil said:
Eric Mc said:
I'm more concerned about how the OP is feeling. He's gone very quiet.
Indeed, but it's hardly surprising considering the 'good going over' that he's received here, much of it from PH regulars who seem to really enjoy putting the boot in. One wonders what it is about their own lives that makes them so keen to kick somebody when he's down (even/especially if it's his own fault). Let he who is without any mistakes in his own life cast the first stone.Kermit power said:
We moved - always to move my father's career forward, and never less than 150 miles at a time - whilst my mother was pregnant with me, then again when I was 4, 11 & 15.
Same here - moved when I was 2, 8, 11 and then again at 14. All because of my dad's job. Sometimes my dad bought the new house without my mum even seeing it ... can you imagine that nowadays?I did *okay* at school and can't really say whether the moving affected it or not. The thing is, I thought everyone moved about like that.
When I moved to PBoro aged 23, one of the first guys I met had lived in the same house all his life (he was 21) - I couldn't understand it ...
25 years ago though.
My Dad was in the Forces, when I was a child, and fortunately we were put in UK boarding schools for most of our schooling. Flew out to various countries during the main holiday months. Not half-term, wasn't worth it - we either stayed back at school or a closeish friend had us to stay over
In my adult life, I bought a house at an early age and have stayed put ever since
In my adult life, I bought a house at an early age and have stayed put ever since
condor said:
I feel sorry for your manager - I'm sure he has better things he could be doing than having to deal with you. You appear to have let him and your colleagues down - let alone the Company you work for.
i have seen a few similar comments on here along this line, and i must admit i used to have this view of giving my all to the company, that was until it suited them to make me redundant 6 weeks before Xmas. i then realised that loyalty seems to be expected but not reciprocated.i like to think i work hard, i stay late if i need to (work in IT so some stuff has to be out of hours) i have even worked at home over weekends to break the back of a project (public sector now, so can only go so far). however i have no illusions that in this day and age i am not the only one aware of how the relationships are with the employers. i don't do the bare minimum, but I can see why some people do this so they complete all that is asked of them but don't take that extra mile step.
one last thing, i am not advocating what the op said etc, but say you post something negative about your employer and they get upset over it and sack you, if it was factually true i.e. if a News of the world reporter had put on Facebook peoples phones had been hacked, then surely you have a strong case at an industrial tribunal for wrongful dismissal? I realise it doesn't count for the OP
jesta1865 said:
i have seen a few similar comments on here along this line, and i must admit i used to have this view of giving my all to the company, that was until it suited them to make me redundant 6 weeks before Xmas. i then realised that loyalty seems to be expected but not reciprocated.
i like to think i work hard, i stay late if i need to (work in IT so some stuff has to be out of hours) i have even worked at home over weekends to break the back of a project (public sector now, so can only go so far). however i have no illusions that in this day and age i am not the only one aware of how the relationships are with the employers. i don't do the bare minimum, but I can see why some people do this so they complete all that is asked of them but don't take that extra mile step.
one last thing, i am not advocating what the op said etc, but say you post something negative about your employer and they get upset over it and sack you, if it was factually true i.e. if a News of the world reporter had put on Facebook peoples phones had been hacked, then surely you have a strong case at an industrial tribunal for wrongful dismissal? I realise it doesn't count for the OP
I believe that's known as whistleblowing. And is allowed. Whistleblowing does not include things like "My boss is shagging the office manager in the storecupboard, I bet her husband doesn't know". But would include illegal or unsafe activities actually being done.i like to think i work hard, i stay late if i need to (work in IT so some stuff has to be out of hours) i have even worked at home over weekends to break the back of a project (public sector now, so can only go so far). however i have no illusions that in this day and age i am not the only one aware of how the relationships are with the employers. i don't do the bare minimum, but I can see why some people do this so they complete all that is asked of them but don't take that extra mile step.
one last thing, i am not advocating what the op said etc, but say you post something negative about your employer and they get upset over it and sack you, if it was factually true i.e. if a News of the world reporter had put on Facebook peoples phones had been hacked, then surely you have a strong case at an industrial tribunal for wrongful dismissal? I realise it doesn't count for the OP
That's my understanding of it anyway.
jesta1865 said:
i have seen a few similar comments on here along this line, and i must admit i used to have this view of giving my all to the company, that was until it suited them to make me redundant 6 weeks before Xmas. i then realised that loyalty seems to be expected but not reciprocated.
i like to think i work hard, i stay late if i need to (work in IT so some stuff has to be out of hours) i have even worked at home over weekends to break the back of a project (public sector now, so can only go so far). however i have no illusions that in this day and age i am not the only one aware of how the relationships are with the employers. i don't do the bare minimum, but I can see why some people do this so they complete all that is asked of them but don't take that extra mile step.
one last thing, i am not advocating what the op said etc, but say you post something negative about your employer and they get upset over it and sack you, if it was factually true i.e. if a News of the world reporter had put on Facebook peoples phones had been hacked, then surely you have a strong case at an industrial tribunal for wrongful dismissal? I realise it doesn't count for the OP
The loyalty shown by your employer is to provide you with a current salary and work opportunity and you should have to work hard to maintain that. You owe them, they pay you money for your services, that's the deal. Paternal employment practices and entitlement culture employees thinking that they are more than a number is so backwards it's untrue.i like to think i work hard, i stay late if i need to (work in IT so some stuff has to be out of hours) i have even worked at home over weekends to break the back of a project (public sector now, so can only go so far). however i have no illusions that in this day and age i am not the only one aware of how the relationships are with the employers. i don't do the bare minimum, but I can see why some people do this so they complete all that is asked of them but don't take that extra mile step.
one last thing, i am not advocating what the op said etc, but say you post something negative about your employer and they get upset over it and sack you, if it was factually true i.e. if a News of the world reporter had put on Facebook peoples phones had been hacked, then surely you have a strong case at an industrial tribunal for wrongful dismissal? I realise it doesn't count for the OP
Employers wishing to have an engaged and motivated workforce need to focus on proving how their employees add value to the organisation, not cost, then back that up by delivering appropriate reward and recognition where people do, if they don't, that's when you end up with a larger proportion feeling like you owe them something when you clearly don't and on the other side of the coin when an Employer sees its' People as a line on the balance sheet to try and make an ever smaller number.
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