Small children in restaurants
Discussion
daemon said:
TwistingMyMelon said:
Go to better restaurants...
All very well but how far upmarket do you have to go before over indulged children arent tolerated?Plus where we leave, you'd need to travel 40 miles each way to get to the finest eateries. And even then you're not guaranteed theres not going to be a family with small kids / large group there.
TwistingMyMelon said:
Its not kids its rude people, if it wasn't their kids it would be other issues.
As on another thread I eat out with my 1 year old and teenagers loads, if its a special occasion quite late as well. We just ask to be seated away from other people if possible and make sure our little one stays entertained and makes no noise. We only stick to decent independent restaurants where they welcome us and all the staff love my daughter smiling at them, as a table we are quieter than a table full of adults.
+1As on another thread I eat out with my 1 year old and teenagers loads, if its a special occasion quite late as well. We just ask to be seated away from other people if possible and make sure our little one stays entertained and makes no noise. We only stick to decent independent restaurants where they welcome us and all the staff love my daughter smiling at them, as a table we are quieter than a table full of adults.
Totally agree.
Most arent like you or i though.
Im a bit of a food snob, but I'm tight as well, I just stick to the same local restaurants that give good service and don't attract idiots
ewenm said:
Leave TripAdvisor reviews complimenting the food (if appropriate) but negative about the inability of the restaurant staff to provide a pleasant dining environment.
Of course it's not limited to children - plenty of stag/hen parties and works meals are just as inconsiderate.
You know thats a really good idea. I think i'll start doing that.Of course it's not limited to children - plenty of stag/hen parties and works meals are just as inconsiderate.
GOG440 said:
I have had 3 kids.
Not once as one of my children done any of the things in your rant because I am a very old fashioned parent in that I have taught my kids how to behave properly.
As a person about to have a child and worried to hell about how to control adequately without being mean, can you please offer some tips!Not once as one of my children done any of the things in your rant because I am a very old fashioned parent in that I have taught my kids how to behave properly.
Jasandjules said:
As a person about to have a child and worried to hell about how to control adequately without being mean, can you please offer some tips!
Be their parent not their friend.Clear boundaries.
Don't threaten something you're not prepared to follow through on.
Rewards for good behaviour, not to stop bad behaviour.
Edit: while it's tiny, organise your life so that if you're out socially, the sprog is sleeping in a pram or similar. They mostly sleep or eat for a good while, so once a routine is established it's manageable.
Edited by ewenm on Monday 7th September 15:01
Jasandjules said:
As a person about to have a child and worried to hell about how to control adequately without being mean, can you please offer some tips!
Until they are old enough to appreciate the experience, do yourself and your partner a favour and organise a babysitter.Saw a couple out with a tot that was a matter of weeks old at our local favourite restaurant. The experience was neither pleasurable for them, the child nor those who had to endure it around them.
Djtemeka said:
A lot of that is down to ignorant parents but we spent the last. Hour of our flight last night listening to someone's kid (2-3yr old) screaming in a tantrum on the plane. I could see the parents wanting to just hide in embarrassment and the other 200 of us wanting to push the little t
t out the plane at altitude.
I'm not a parent but not once did we hear the parents tell the kid off. This kid was old enough to walk properly and old. Enough to be without a dummy. It was 2am in the morning though. Once off the plane the little troll was skipping around like a princess again. Little bd.
You can't reason with a 2-3yr old at the best of times. You didn't say if she had slept or not but at 2AM she would be so far beyond itself it's not surprising she was hysterical.t out the plane at altitude. I'm not a parent but not once did we hear the parents tell the kid off. This kid was old enough to walk properly and old. Enough to be without a dummy. It was 2am in the morning though. Once off the plane the little troll was skipping around like a princess again. Little b
d. People keeping kids up far too late frustrates me - young kids should be in bed at around 7PM so taking them out in the evening for a meal is asking for trouble.
Our kids were fine - proper little young ladies from a very early age - but our 3yr old granddaughter, who spends a lot of time with us, is frustratingly variable when we eat out. She'll be delightful one time and another just won't sit still for a second.
daemon said:
Until they are old enough to appreciate the experience, do yourself and your partner a favour and organise a babysitter.
Saw a couple out with a tot that was a matter of weeks old at our local favourite restaurant. The experience was neither pleasurable for them, the child nor those who had to endure it around them.
We went to a local country pub for lunch when our daughter was 3 days old. No issue at all as she just slept. Evenings out were easier with an infant than a toddler - the infant would just sleep if full of milk, toddlers get over-excited.Saw a couple out with a tot that was a matter of weeks old at our local favourite restaurant. The experience was neither pleasurable for them, the child nor those who had to endure it around them.
ewenm said:
daemon said:
Until they are old enough to appreciate the experience, do yourself and your partner a favour and organise a babysitter.
Saw a couple out with a tot that was a matter of weeks old at our local favourite restaurant. The experience was neither pleasurable for them, the child nor those who had to endure it around them.
We went to a local country pub for lunch when our daughter was 3 days old. No issue at all as she just slept. Evenings out were easier with an infant than a toddler - the infant would just sleep if full of milk, toddlers get over-excited.Saw a couple out with a tot that was a matter of weeks old at our local favourite restaurant. The experience was neither pleasurable for them, the child nor those who had to endure it around them.
Jasandjules said:
GOG440 said:
I have had 3 kids.
Not once as one of my children done any of the things in your rant because I am a very old fashioned parent in that I have taught my kids how to behave properly.
As a person about to have a child and worried to hell about how to control adequately without being mean, can you please offer some tips!Not once as one of my children done any of the things in your rant because I am a very old fashioned parent in that I have taught my kids how to behave properly.
The only thing I can say is dont get hung up on how to deal with it now, when the time comes you will come up with a technique that works for you.
daemon said:
Could have, but typically thats on descent.
Moreoften i think kids arent in any way controlled or expected to sit quietly at any time at home, so the child rebels when its suddenly expected to do so.
Brings up another point - why cant airplanes group parents with small children at one end of the plane or the other? Why are they allowed to spread out all over the plane?
We're off on a trip to Menorca next week - upgraded to extended leg room seats. They've placed us on 3 aisle seats - 2 adults and one 3 year old. According to the call centre that constitutes sitting together. Point is, don't place to much trust in airline seat allocation Moreoften i think kids arent in any way controlled or expected to sit quietly at any time at home, so the child rebels when its suddenly expected to do so.
Brings up another point - why cant airplanes group parents with small children at one end of the plane or the other? Why are they allowed to spread out all over the plane?
ewenm said:
Be their parent not their friend.
Clear boundaries.
Don't threaten something you're not prepared to follow through on.
Rewards for good behaviour, not to stop bad behaviour.
Perfect advise I would sayClear boundaries.
Don't threaten something you're not prepared to follow through on.
Rewards for good behaviour, not to stop bad behaviour.
Edited by ewenm on Monday 7th September 15:01
These are the rules we live by with our 5 year old - She understands perfectly well that bad behaviour is not tolerated and if she is given a warning for bad behaviour and the bad behaviour continues, the punishment (naughty step was very effective, but now it's become time in her room) would follow as previously warned - She's become fully aware of her boundaries, and all it tales now is the "Dad stare" and she knows to stop or modify her behaviour.
We've also found that rewarding good behaviour is very effective - Which is exactly why schools (or her school at least)also utilise similar methods - Start the day on the cloud, bad behaviour = rain and then the thunder cloud, good behaviour = sunshine and then rainbow - Guess which behaviour is rewarded with a sticker?
We also have a reward chart at home, with stars awarded for doing her "chores", little things like brushing her teeth, getting dressed on her own, putting her toys away etc.. It's funny how effective something as simple as a sticker of a star is, but it definitely works.
Sheepshanks said:
You can't reason with a 2-3yr old at the best of times. You didn't say if she had slept or not but at 2AM she would be so far beyond itself it's not surprising she was hysterical.
People keeping kids up far too late frustrates me - young kids should be in bed at around 7PM so taking them out in the evening for a meal is asking for trouble.
Our kids were fine - proper little young ladies from a very early age - but our 3yr old granddaughter, who spends a lot of time with us, is frustratingly variable when we eat out. She'll be delightful one time and another just won't sit still for a second.
You make sense here, but I'll push you on the later stay-ups, mine are 2 & 4 (well nearly 3 & 5 actually) and they have no problem in staying up as a treat and behaving perfectly, in fact, sometimes better!People keeping kids up far too late frustrates me - young kids should be in bed at around 7PM so taking them out in the evening for a meal is asking for trouble.
Our kids were fine - proper little young ladies from a very early age - but our 3yr old granddaughter, who spends a lot of time with us, is frustratingly variable when we eat out. She'll be delightful one time and another just won't sit still for a second.
I think the europeans do it well with their kids but it doesn't leave much froom for adult time if they;re going to bed at the same time as you after dinner at 10:30.........
GOG440 said:
It is difficult to explain really, but what we have done is to be firm with them right from the beginning about what is acceptable and what isnt and we have used things like the "naughty step" and removal of toys/tv etc in extreme cases. I dont want to come across as some sort of victorian ogre because I'm not, I love messing about with my kids and spending time with them but they know that they will not get away with bad behaviour (especially in public) and they are intelligent enough to know exactly where the boundaries are (and how to push them sometimes)
The only thing I can say is dont get hung up on how to deal with it now, when the time comes you will come up with a technique that works for you.
Don't underestimate the power of "naughty step". It's surprisingly powerful.The only thing I can say is dont get hung up on how to deal with it now, when the time comes you will come up with a technique that works for you.
For me, its all about exposure and how children are brought up. Both my children, now 8 and 4, regularly eat out with us and both of them know the level of behaviour we expect of them. This includes regularly eating at a couple of gastro-pubs which have featured and are currently Michelin starred places (specifically the Star at Harome and The pipe and Glass, Beverley). We have never had a problem and have even had other diners and staff compliment us on their behaviour.
My current pet hate is with young adults and some of the colourful language you overhear when eating out. Saturday evening, meal out with my family and I had to ask a table of two young couples to mind there language in front of my wife and children.
My current pet hate is with young adults and some of the colourful language you overhear when eating out. Saturday evening, meal out with my family and I had to ask a table of two young couples to mind there language in front of my wife and children.
LordGrover said:
TheEnd said:
I've seen it before in a Wetherspoons, dad sits down with a pint and the obligatory carrier bag, kids run up and down the pub and gather every sauce sachet possible.
Surely that's a good thing? I'd much prefer they stick to Wetherspoons than proper pubs/restaurants.
I meant I seen it through the window on the way to Waitrose..
phew!
hacksaw said:
My current pet hate is with young adults and some of the colourful language you overhear when eating out. Saturday evening, meal out with my family and I had to ask a table of two young couples to mind there language in front of my wife and children.
Young adults dining out and talking to each other - and not locked on to their phones ! How odd. I'm with sheepshank on the 7pm bed thing - I have seen far too many over tired children behaving terribly in restaurants...just put them to bed FFS!!!
Anyway - yes its down to the parenting, and I notice a lot more parents are shunning their responsibilities by giving their children Ipads etc and then ignoring them at family meals out. Thats really poor parenting, just get a baby sitter if you cant be arsed to look after your children at a social event.
Children on planes can be great if you keep them entertained - mine are because we PLAN AHEAD massively and take plenty of toys, games and other in flight entertainment, they are always good on planes and we often have other passengers say "you're boys are so well behaved" to us. which is really nice!
As a regular passenger on planes I always take ear plugs and/or in ear headphones - that way I can block out the rabble, who rarely are children and are in fact much more likely to be pissed up adults acting like they are entitled to far more than they really are.
Try going out later for dinner? or try going to more expensive places where kids are far less likely.
Last thing - its up to YOU where you sit in a restaurant not the waiter! If you are being herded towards a table of raucous children then choose another table or go to another restaurant.
Anyway - yes its down to the parenting, and I notice a lot more parents are shunning their responsibilities by giving their children Ipads etc and then ignoring them at family meals out. Thats really poor parenting, just get a baby sitter if you cant be arsed to look after your children at a social event.
Children on planes can be great if you keep them entertained - mine are because we PLAN AHEAD massively and take plenty of toys, games and other in flight entertainment, they are always good on planes and we often have other passengers say "you're boys are so well behaved" to us. which is really nice!
As a regular passenger on planes I always take ear plugs and/or in ear headphones - that way I can block out the rabble, who rarely are children and are in fact much more likely to be pissed up adults acting like they are entitled to far more than they really are.
Try going out later for dinner? or try going to more expensive places where kids are far less likely.
Last thing - its up to YOU where you sit in a restaurant not the waiter! If you are being herded towards a table of raucous children then choose another table or go to another restaurant.
My 2 are 3 and 6 and have both been going into restaurants since before they were a week old. They're both perfectly capable of sitting down for an hour or 2, behaving and conversing pleasantly.
I see so many families out and about where the kids are treated as an inconvenience I genuinely wonder why they bothered. I despise the idea of plonking kids down with an iPad or in front of the TV so that they're not getting in the way.
We're not alone though, I see plenty of well behaved kids in restaurants, it's just the noisy, annoying ones that get noticed.
I see so many families out and about where the kids are treated as an inconvenience I genuinely wonder why they bothered. I despise the idea of plonking kids down with an iPad or in front of the TV so that they're not getting in the way.
We're not alone though, I see plenty of well behaved kids in restaurants, it's just the noisy, annoying ones that get noticed.
hacksaw said:
For me, its all about exposure and how children are brought up. Both my children, now 8 and 4, regularly eat out with us and both of them know the level of behaviour we expect of them. This includes regularly eating at a couple of gastro-pubs which have featured and are currently Michelin starred places (specifically the Star at Harome and The pipe and Glass, Beverley). We have never had a problem and have even had other diners and staff compliment us on their behaviour.
My current pet hate is with young adults and some of the colourful language you overhear when eating out. Saturday evening, meal out with my family and I had to ask a table of two young couples to mind there language in front of my wife and children.
This sums it up.My current pet hate is with young adults and some of the colourful language you overhear when eating out. Saturday evening, meal out with my family and I had to ask a table of two young couples to mind there language in front of my wife and children.
Our 2 (now 7 and 9) have always eaten out with us and mostly behaved well as a result. My in-laws are very happy to take us all out and pay as they enjoy the experience. They won't take out their other grand-children, brought up by trendy liberals and no respect for otherss - and that makes my in-laws very sad.
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