Small children in restaurants
Discussion
We went for a spot of lunch in France on Saturday. Our hearts sank as the couple arrived in the Club Lounge with their >1 year old child.
We need not have worried though. All we noted of them on the rest of the trip was the pram and how quiet and well behaved their child was.
Essex woman (of a certain age) on what was very obviously her first ever experience of anything other than cattle class was a PITA constantly getting up to take photos of the lounge from every conceivable angle, necking as much free stuff as she could manage and discussing her very uninteresting business loudly enough with her partner that we could hear every detail over the other side of the lounge from her.
We need not have worried though. All we noted of them on the rest of the trip was the pram and how quiet and well behaved their child was.
Essex woman (of a certain age) on what was very obviously her first ever experience of anything other than cattle class was a PITA constantly getting up to take photos of the lounge from every conceivable angle, necking as much free stuff as she could manage and discussing her very uninteresting business loudly enough with her partner that we could hear every detail over the other side of the lounge from her.
[quote=daemo
We called in at a hotel recently for saturday afternoon lunch. Nothing fancy, but its nice food, nice staff and never too busy.
Family of 6 sits in the booth behind us - first thing they do is get the free wireless password and the 8 year old then starts streaming some TV programme with the volume up loud. I did the whole "glare" thing a couple of times at the mother, but nope it just continued. We just moved after a few mins when we knew it was going to persist to the other side of the restaurant but really? what part of people thinks thats ok?
[/quote]
You got off light, sat in a restaurant one evening a few years ago enjoying a very pleasant evening, the door opens in come 2 sets of parents braying for all the world to here followed by their little darlings, one on a tricycle the other on roller skates, on what planet is that accetable?
We called in at a hotel recently for saturday afternoon lunch. Nothing fancy, but its nice food, nice staff and never too busy.
Family of 6 sits in the booth behind us - first thing they do is get the free wireless password and the 8 year old then starts streaming some TV programme with the volume up loud. I did the whole "glare" thing a couple of times at the mother, but nope it just continued. We just moved after a few mins when we knew it was going to persist to the other side of the restaurant but really? what part of people thinks thats ok?
[/quote]
You got off light, sat in a restaurant one evening a few years ago enjoying a very pleasant evening, the door opens in come 2 sets of parents braying for all the world to here followed by their little darlings, one on a tricycle the other on roller skates, on what planet is that accetable?
Totally agreement and I'm a parent. I'm usually more offended with parents bringing their fat children out. It really saddens me.
On a similar note I watched an entire family.: mum and kids wearing onesies wandering round a motorway service station recently. Dad was dressed but the kids were creating mayhem due to wearing heelies. Pretty funny actually but not something we had to endure !
On a similar note I watched an entire family.: mum and kids wearing onesies wandering round a motorway service station recently. Dad was dressed but the kids were creating mayhem due to wearing heelies. Pretty funny actually but not something we had to endure !
Problem is most people in the UK don't eat out enough and certainly not as a family to understand what the experience should be like. Plus 90% of them are assholes. I speak as an ex-restaurateur and a parent.
Both my kids were eating in formal restaurants from an age of 3 upwards and learned how to behave properly.
Both my kids were eating in formal restaurants from an age of 3 upwards and learned how to behave properly.
Chris Type R said:
GOG440 said:
It is difficult to explain really, but what we have done is to be firm with them right from the beginning about what is acceptable and what isnt and we have used things like the "naughty step" and removal of toys/tv etc in extreme cases. I dont want to come across as some sort of victorian ogre because I'm not, I love messing about with my kids and spending time with them but they know that they will not get away with bad behaviour (especially in public) and they are intelligent enough to know exactly where the boundaries are (and how to push them sometimes)
The only thing I can say is dont get hung up on how to deal with it now, when the time comes you will come up with a technique that works for you.
Don't underestimate the power of "naughty step". It's surprisingly powerful.The only thing I can say is dont get hung up on how to deal with it now, when the time comes you will come up with a technique that works for you.
TwistingMyMelon said:
Its not kids its rude people, if it wasn't their kids it would be other issues.
I'd agree with this.I went out for a meal a few days ago and a group of middle-aged friends sat on the next table and proceeded to talk at and over each other at a volume which would have been appropriate had they been standing on the deck of a trawler in a hurricane. They were all talking at once, the women were doing that awful cackling and they clearly had not a jot of consideration for the people around them.
Some people are just beyond the pale, whether they have children with them or not.
One thing we see a lot of locally and with a few of our friends are couples where neither normally spends much time with the children. This tends to mean that they don't know the children's routines, what they do and don't like, what the nanny normally does to discipline etc, etc. so it's hardly surprising that they can't get them to behave
Usually my kids are very well behaved in public, my missus and I are meek types, don't like to make a fuss or upset people and we're all well socialised. That said if I ever spot the kind of miserable, Victorian era, joyless f
kwits who populate these threads when we're out I deliberately send the kids to target them with noise, mash potato and plenty of sticky sugary drinks. Can's stand the heat? Get out of the kitchen Meldrew.
kwits who populate these threads when we're out I deliberately send the kids to target them with noise, mash potato and plenty of sticky sugary drinks. Can's stand the heat? Get out of the kitchen Meldrew.Sheepshanks said:
Djtemeka said:
A lot of that is down to ignorant parents but we spent the last. Hour of our flight last night listening to someone's kid (2-3yr old) screaming in a tantrum on the plane. I could see the parents wanting to just hide in embarrassment and the other 200 of us wanting to push the little tt out the plane at altitude.
I'm not a parent but not once did we hear the parents tell the kid off. This kid was old enough to walk properly and old. Enough to be without a dummy. It was 2am in the morning though. Once off the plane the little troll was skipping around like a princess again. Little bd.
You can't reason with a 2-3yr old at the best of times. You didn't say if she had slept or not but at 2AM she would be so far beyond itself it's not surprising she was hysterical.t out the plane at altitude. I'm not a parent but not once did we hear the parents tell the kid off. This kid was old enough to walk properly and old. Enough to be without a dummy. It was 2am in the morning though. Once off the plane the little troll was skipping around like a princess again. Little b
d. People keeping kids up far too late frustrates me - young kids should be in bed at around 7PM so taking them out in the evening for a meal is asking for trouble.
Our kids were fine - proper little young ladies from a very early age - but our 3yr old granddaughter, who spends a lot of time with us, is frustratingly variable when we eat out. She'll be delightful one time and another just won't sit still for a second.
king work, really really hard. He can't sit still for more than 8seconds (timed him) and at that age you can't get it seat for them. He wasn't disruptive or loud but I've never been more happy to get off an aeroplane in my life. Basically, at that age, I don't care if you're nanny mcphee herself, if the child is anything other thana lifeless lump most of the time you are gonna have to work hard. If you don't like kids on planes then don't travel out of term time, or pay for business class.
Oh and ours can be hard work in resteraunts, only for us though, I'd never just let then run free and I have on the couple of occasions just called time on the whole thing and left without ordering.
Kids; the hardest job in the world, ever.
As a couple who didn't have kids until our mid 30's I can feel your pain. It used to drive me mad having to listen to kids running round shouting at pubs and restaurants. I've given the stare to plenty of parents over the years. 
Now I have kids of my own I understand the difficulties in keeping toddlers quiet and under control. Unlike these super dads on here my kids push boundaries as I would expect from a 19 month old and a 3 year old. However, there's absolutely no need for this to be inflicted on anyone out enjoying an evening with adults. I'm more than aware of how noisy my kids are so I simply wouldn't take them to a restaurant in the evening. They're in bed by 7pm anyway so it's not like we ever get a chance.
If going out for lunch I'll choose where I go mainly on how well it caters for children. We're quite lucky to have a lovely local pub with huge gardens that the kids can run around with other kids in. There's a pond and horses that are both fenced off so there's really no danger, food is great and at just the price where it would put the Weatherspoons crowd off. The people who would go there know its a family pub and I think there should be tolerance of children (within reason) at places like this during the day. I've certainly never had any stares from other customers.
Stopping for a coffee can be a bit hit and miss. Sometimes my children will be adorable and even play together with a colouring in book or something. Other times one will have a melt down. Me and the wife are always in agreement that we finish our drinks and leave quickly if they're being noisey.
I think I'm considerate of other peoples peace and that others are mostly sympathetic to the fact that kids are kids. It just takes a bit of consideration on both parts.
Now I have kids of my own I understand the difficulties in keeping toddlers quiet and under control. Unlike these super dads on here my kids push boundaries as I would expect from a 19 month old and a 3 year old. However, there's absolutely no need for this to be inflicted on anyone out enjoying an evening with adults. I'm more than aware of how noisy my kids are so I simply wouldn't take them to a restaurant in the evening. They're in bed by 7pm anyway so it's not like we ever get a chance.
If going out for lunch I'll choose where I go mainly on how well it caters for children. We're quite lucky to have a lovely local pub with huge gardens that the kids can run around with other kids in. There's a pond and horses that are both fenced off so there's really no danger, food is great and at just the price where it would put the Weatherspoons crowd off. The people who would go there know its a family pub and I think there should be tolerance of children (within reason) at places like this during the day. I've certainly never had any stares from other customers.
Stopping for a coffee can be a bit hit and miss. Sometimes my children will be adorable and even play together with a colouring in book or something. Other times one will have a melt down. Me and the wife are always in agreement that we finish our drinks and leave quickly if they're being noisey.
I think I'm considerate of other peoples peace and that others are mostly sympathetic to the fact that kids are kids. It just takes a bit of consideration on both parts.
ewenm said:
Jasandjules said:
As a person about to have a child and worried to hell about how to control adequately without being mean, can you please offer some tips!
Be their parent not their friend.Clear boundaries.
Don't threaten something you're not prepared to follow through on.
Rewards for good behaviour, not to stop bad behaviour.
Edit: while it's tiny, organise your life so that if you're out socially, the sprog is sleeping in a pram or similar. They mostly sleep or eat for a good while, so once a routine is established it's manageable.
Edited by ewenm on Monday 7th September 15:01
We can/could take our daughter anywhere. No noises, no running around etc. If she was naughty we went outside to have a chat....
We went out with my brother and his daughter last year and she was really naughty. He threatened no pudding if she did not improve. She didn't but still got her pudding. And wonders why she runs rings around her.
My daughter know's that if I say it (less so her mother), I'll mean it. Similar on a plane to Orlando when she was a toddler. We were complemented on her behaviour by the couple on the other aisle, who did not even realise we had a child until we got off.
daemon said:
Chris Type R said:
Could have been due to ear ache from the pressure change.
Could have, but typically thats on descent.Moreoften i think kids arent in any way controlled or expected to sit quietly at any time at home, so the child rebels when its suddenly expected to do so.
Brings up another point - why cant airplanes group parents with small children
Vizsla said:
daemon said:
Chris Type R said:
Could have been due to ear ache from the pressure change.
Could have, but typically thats on descent.Moreoften i think kids arent in any way controlled or expected to sit quietly at any time at home, so the child rebels when its suddenly expected to do so.
Brings up another point - why cant airplanes group parents with small children
We took our two boys, aged 6 and 8, to Château Cordeillan-Bages in Pauillac for lunch last summer.
They were immaculately well behaved, loved the whole Mich star dining experience, and at the end of the meal the head chef took them on a tour of the (extensive) kitchens.
Unfortunately he didn't want to keep them. I did ask.
The food was amazing BTW. Recommended!
They were immaculately well behaved, loved the whole Mich star dining experience, and at the end of the meal the head chef took them on a tour of the (extensive) kitchens.
Unfortunately he didn't want to keep them. I did ask.
The food was amazing BTW. Recommended!
TIGA84 said:
I think the europeans do it well with their kids but it doesn't leave much froom for adult time if they;re going to bed at the same time as you after dinner at 10:30.........
Yes - we noticed in one place we stayed inn Spain all the local kids came out to play in the town square in the evening for a couple of hours. I assume they must have a siesta.I don't agree with "it's all about the parents". Obviously that can be a significant factor but kids vary - I don't kids "are all different" either, but there are definite groupings. As I said earlier, ours were great, and are both clever and went on to proper uni's and good jobs.
Our granddaughters (one to each of our daughters) OTOH, are bonkers and generally can't sit still for more than a few seconds. The older one is getting better but does everything at 100MPH and her activity needs to be constantly led - leave her for a moment and she's off.
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