Does anyone else hate coffee shops.

Does anyone else hate coffee shops.

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joe_90

Original Poster:

4,206 posts

237 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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I hate the small tables, the bunched up chairs, all the moving about to get a seat, idiots with macbooks sat on the comfy chairs with coke and no-one else with them, strangers attempting to sit at your table, fking oversized mugs and hundred of fking choices for an unrelaxing time. I never ever go, however I was forced by the wife yesterday to go into one, and worse with the kids (one in a bloody buggy).

I just do not get how you can relax in a place like that.. people everywhere, pushing about..

NikB

1,834 posts

271 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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You forget to mention the fuggin awful stench of coffee as well yuck

Republik

4,525 posts

196 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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Me. Can't fking stand them. I hate Starbucks with a passion, more so than McDonalds.

chevy-stu

5,392 posts

234 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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Use em' if I'm stuck somewhere with time to kill, and need a toilet, but generally avoid...

Steamer

13,963 posts

219 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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I hate the idiotic names you 'must' use in order to get a drink.

Don't get me wrong - I don't mind asking for things in a foreign language when I'm over seas but who the hell thinks up the names for these concoctions!?

StoatInACoat

1,355 posts

191 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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Horrible. Too many options, nothing called "Black coffee in a normal sized mug" so instead it's "Americano in a vat or a pipette and you have to ask for milk" and full of pretentious tts hell bent on making sure everybody notices that they're spending £19.99 on a BLT.

Had to order a "Soya decaf cappuccino" or some such rubbish for a client once. Basically hot water I presume.

Disco You

3,692 posts

186 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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You forgot to mention that coffee costs about three quid!

wattsie_2004

227 posts

195 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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Steamer said:
I hate the idiotic names you 'must' use in order to get a drink.

Don't get me wrong - I don't mind asking for things in a foreign language when I'm over seas but who the hell thinks up the names for these concoctions!?
One vanillaccino-frappy-latte please. In a très grand sized mug. smile

V8mate

45,899 posts

195 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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I really fking hate people who bring little kids, especially in their one-upman, outsized baby buggies, into coffee shops when I'm tring to enjoy a nice large coffee and large newspaper with just the right level of classical music in the background.

OP: Don't listen to your wife; Maccy Ds is that way --->

TuxRacer

13,812 posts

197 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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Yes. My wife seems fond of them, but can't seem to understand that £15 for us to have a snack there is £15 further away from a house and kids. If she could make that connection I'm sure she'd never drag me into one of those stholes again.

Steamer

13,963 posts

219 months

Monday 27th September 2010
quotequote all
wattsie_2004 said:
Steamer said:
I hate the idiotic names you 'must' use in order to get a drink.

Don't get me wrong - I don't mind asking for things in a foreign language when I'm over seas but who the hell thinks up the names for these concoctions!?
One vanillaccino-frappy-latte please. In a très grand sized mug. smile
Thats the one!! <cringe... like nails on a blackboard!!> It sounds so exotic on a rainy wednesday in the Birmingham BullRing Starbucks with a 'yam yam' accent.

308mate

13,757 posts

228 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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I fking hate them.

In Australia, it seems the very act of going and purchasing a coffee has become a fashion statement (their propensity to cling on to and perpetuate anything and everything that makes them feel more cosmopolitan, is astounding). So when Im with my Aussie family in the UK, we cant go more than an hour without queueing up AGIAN in one of these overcrowded, noisy pits of group-think. And if they dont serve a "baby-cino" for the youngster (yes, the must-have-a-coffee-variant for baby brain wash, starts early) there's scowling looks and accusations of Britain being in the Dark Ages. If the waiter doesnt know the lingo (A long black mach, please), more looks of smug astonishment. And after we leave, we have to have a breakdown of whether it was a good coffee or not and how hot it was and the froth etc. And then of course the caffeine makes all the women need the loo 20min later. Hence a 2hr trip around London takes half a day, just from Cofee stops.

Overpriced tat for people who think they are the characters of Friends.


Harry Flashman

19,921 posts

248 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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o be fair, they're not really just coffee shops. The drinks they sell are more akin to coffee flavoured hot milkshakes.

Personally, I love them. But atempt to stay away from them for health reasons.

The shops themselves are, however, overcrowded and horrid (yes you, Starbucks, Nero et al). The real shame is that they have killed the old style coffee shop off unless you are somewhere a bit off the beaten track.

IanMorewood

4,309 posts

254 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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I spent a very pleasant 40 mins in a coffee shop yesterday cosseted in a leather chair sipping a mug of milky coffee with no one but my family about and a couple of visits from the friendly waitress whilst watching the GP, only trouble was I had to get up and go shopping when the coffee was finished.

grumbledoak

31,795 posts

239 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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The chains are poor, but the customers are worse! And why can't women just order a Latte? That's normally what they wanted, they just seem to want to call it a cappuccino, so now I have to order a double macchiato to get a real coffee.

dilbert

7,741 posts

237 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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They hate me! smile

I tell 'em I want coffee... The look at me strangely, so I qualify, "Black and two - a drop of cold water please".

Mad Italian guy says, "But we've only got tap water, and it says not drinkable."

Says I; "Better be strong coffee then".

Under the counter they have a coffee machine. It purifies the water adds weird ingredients, it even manufactures paper cups from a supply of neatly wrapped, specially harvested trees. Basically they have a machine like a vending machine. It can only do weird coffee. Nothing else. They can only sell cakes that arrive in cardboard cartons by the palette load. The trees, the ingredients, the cakes, the staff - they're all manufactured in China and shipped over nightly by plane on the night freight.

When they open a new shop, the interior arrives on a lorry (from China) they rip out the old, skip it, and slide the new shop in.

Whatever happened to the greasy spoon?

The whole thing courtesy of Alan Sugar. (Well perhaps not literally)
smile

Edited by dilbert on Monday 27th September 14:45

Ganglandboss

8,364 posts

209 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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The only place a man should go to be served food or drink is:

  • Pub
  • Curry house
  • Greasy spoon cafe where coffee is scooped out of a catering size jar of instant, dropped into a tatty mug with 'Cannock Truck Services' printed on the side, filled with water from a death-trap gas-fired water heater, plonked in front of you for you to add your own milk and sugar and stirred by a manky tea spoon picked out of a mug of brownish water.
  • Home
  • His mum's house when the wife has the hump and won't cook for him
  • swanky restaurant if he is trying to get his leg over
  • swanky restaurant if he can claim it on expenses
If you venture into a Starbucks, Cafe Nero or Costa, you are just asking to catch gay!

Spartan luke

423 posts

198 months

Monday 27th September 2010
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i hate most coffee shops apart from the ones in amsterdam, now they are my cup a tea hippy

joe_90

Original Poster:

4,206 posts

237 months

Monday 27th September 2010
quotequote all
Ahh good.. so just not me then.

They piss me off, they are a fking mess (left over cups not cleaned off), the tables have suger on then, the table rock about a bit, the chairs cannot quite fit under the tables and everyone just looks so unrelaxed.

And all I want is a cup of bloody tea.. Just fking normal tea, and a cup for a normal person.

Edited by joe_90 on Monday 27th September 14:53

Spartan luke

423 posts

198 months

Monday 27th September 2010
quotequote all
joe_90 said:
Ahh good.. so just not me then.

They piss me off, they are a fking mess, the tables have suger on then, the table rock about a bit, the chairs cannot quite fit under the tables and everyone just looks so unrelaxed.

And all I want is a cup of bloody tea.. Just fking normal tea, and a cup for a normal person.
What sort of tea did u have out of the millions of type of tea starfooks have to offer lol. Its an american habit all these coffee shops