Films I watched this week
Discussion
Tale of Tales, it's a kind of fairytale/horror movie with Salma Hayek and John C. Reilly. There are three or four separate stories running, lots of lesbian action, fighting, monsters etc. On paper it looks good 
but it has to be one of the most pointless films i have ever watched. The individual stories didn't actually seem to have any kind of structure, just random nonsense, and then somehow they all tied in at the end, well i think they were supposed to, but didn't at all.
s
te 0/10.
but it has to be one of the most pointless films i have ever watched. The individual stories didn't actually seem to have any kind of structure, just random nonsense, and then somehow they all tied in at the end, well i think they were supposed to, but didn't at all.s
te 0/10.Watched "kill me three times" last night - a new Simon Pegg comedy.
Well - actually its not a comedy at all, and in fact while Pegg has a fairly "central role", he isnt on screen the majority of the time.
Set in Oz, a blokes wife is having an affair with a hunky mechanic. He hires an assassin to kill her. Meanwhile the blokes sister plans to kill her herself and use the body to fake her own death to claim the insurance money as her husband has run up gambling debts. Pegg the assassin sees that they can do the dirty work and he'll still get paid, but various other events happen and things spiral into everyone killing each other.
Guess the thing that jars is that if you took pegg (and his over-the-top plummy-voiced english gentleman assassin) out of the film and had a more sinister villian it would be quite a believable and dark story, as there is little else in the way of humour apart from him walking into scenes and killing someone and then apologising or giggling.
5/10
Well - actually its not a comedy at all, and in fact while Pegg has a fairly "central role", he isnt on screen the majority of the time.
Set in Oz, a blokes wife is having an affair with a hunky mechanic. He hires an assassin to kill her. Meanwhile the blokes sister plans to kill her herself and use the body to fake her own death to claim the insurance money as her husband has run up gambling debts. Pegg the assassin sees that they can do the dirty work and he'll still get paid, but various other events happen and things spiral into everyone killing each other.
Guess the thing that jars is that if you took pegg (and his over-the-top plummy-voiced english gentleman assassin) out of the film and had a more sinister villian it would be quite a believable and dark story, as there is little else in the way of humour apart from him walking into scenes and killing someone and then apologising or giggling.
5/10
.chibbard said:
"IT Follows" - Utter, Utter tosh. How it was ever allowed to be produced absolutely amazes me. DO NOT waste your time watching it. I felt annoyed once it finished to the degree of wanting to punch the people responsible !!!!
I watched this too after lots of rave reviews and thought it was just ok and not a masterpiece as lot's were hyping it up to be.Jupiter Ascending
Story starts as Eddie Redmayne as an intergalactic baddy who is arguing with his brother and sister over who has ownership of what planets to be 'harvested' for people to be distilled into gunk that makes them live forever.
Little does Mila Kunis know on little old Earth, that as well as being a toilet cleaner she is actually Queen of Earth - and has the right to stop him!
Channing Tatum plays his usual Channing Tatum, but, with a twist - he's got some wolf DNA so he has wolf ears and big teeth. He used to have wings, but they were chopped off, but that's OK because he can still fly because he has anti-gravity boots so all he has to do is 'speed skate' through the sky.
Channing Tatum comes to earth to find Mila Kunis to stop Eddie Redmayne playing 90% Julian Clary camp whispering and 10% Ming the Merciless bellowing and his henchmen of 10 foot tall talking lizards from killing her.
Mila Kunis falls in love with Channing Tatum so unbelievably quickly that she even needs a monologue to explain why she falls in love so unbelievably quickly.
When she gets to the intergalactic city place she finds that all she needs to do to be Queen is fill out some forms. Yes, seriously. Then five minutes is filled with a montage going though layers of bureaucracy ripped straight from Terry Gilliam's 'Brazil'.
Just by co-incidence, Terry Gilliam has a cameo as the final Hobbit like bureaucrat to give her a wrist tattoo to make her Queen. He bumbles round a messy Hobbit-office with puffs of smoke coming from things, whilst Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum look at each other and realise that they made a mistake with this film.
This film is a much more complicated fantasy sci-fi cross between Dune and The Never-ending Story. If the plot was not so complex, and toned down a little it would have made a film for tweenagers. But, it's just a mish-mash for anyone else.
If I gave it a 3/10 I don't know where the 3 points would come from.
Story starts as Eddie Redmayne as an intergalactic baddy who is arguing with his brother and sister over who has ownership of what planets to be 'harvested' for people to be distilled into gunk that makes them live forever.
Little does Mila Kunis know on little old Earth, that as well as being a toilet cleaner she is actually Queen of Earth - and has the right to stop him!
Channing Tatum plays his usual Channing Tatum, but, with a twist - he's got some wolf DNA so he has wolf ears and big teeth. He used to have wings, but they were chopped off, but that's OK because he can still fly because he has anti-gravity boots so all he has to do is 'speed skate' through the sky.
Channing Tatum comes to earth to find Mila Kunis to stop Eddie Redmayne playing 90% Julian Clary camp whispering and 10% Ming the Merciless bellowing and his henchmen of 10 foot tall talking lizards from killing her.
Mila Kunis falls in love with Channing Tatum so unbelievably quickly that she even needs a monologue to explain why she falls in love so unbelievably quickly.
When she gets to the intergalactic city place she finds that all she needs to do to be Queen is fill out some forms. Yes, seriously. Then five minutes is filled with a montage going though layers of bureaucracy ripped straight from Terry Gilliam's 'Brazil'.
Just by co-incidence, Terry Gilliam has a cameo as the final Hobbit like bureaucrat to give her a wrist tattoo to make her Queen. He bumbles round a messy Hobbit-office with puffs of smoke coming from things, whilst Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum look at each other and realise that they made a mistake with this film.
This film is a much more complicated fantasy sci-fi cross between Dune and The Never-ending Story. If the plot was not so complex, and toned down a little it would have made a film for tweenagers. But, it's just a mish-mash for anyone else.
If I gave it a 3/10 I don't know where the 3 points would come from.
I bought and watched Avengers - Age of Ultron from the Sky store.
Was an OK way of passing 2+ hours, but to be honest, these films have no become too much of a muchness - the CGI is great, but how many times have we seen similar stuff in very similar (seemingly endless) films?
And then, we watch The Goonies (1985). Still brilliant, not one bad scene!
Was an OK way of passing 2+ hours, but to be honest, these films have no become too much of a muchness - the CGI is great, but how many times have we seen similar stuff in very similar (seemingly endless) films?
And then, we watch The Goonies (1985). Still brilliant, not one bad scene!
Edited by chris watton on Friday 11th September 17:42
Left behind.
Appeared on Netflix and Mrs McDonald wanted to see it (Nicholas Cage fan you see)
Er well it's a film that I watched.
It's got a rotten tomatoe score of 2% which seems overly generous to be honest. It could well be the worst film I have ever seen. It's not even got the so bad it's good thing going for it. There is quite literally nothing good to say about it.
0/10
Appeared on Netflix and Mrs McDonald wanted to see it (Nicholas Cage fan you see)
Er well it's a film that I watched.
It's got a rotten tomatoe score of 2% which seems overly generous to be honest. It could well be the worst film I have ever seen. It's not even got the so bad it's good thing going for it. There is quite literally nothing good to say about it.
0/10
giblet said:
Southpaw. Had high hopes for it but it let me down. Whilst the camerawork and boxing scenes were good the storyline was far too cliched. Needed more training montages as well! 5.75/10
Got to agree. A shame the effort Gylenhall clearly put into his training for the role wasn't matched by the screenwriters. You might as well just watch the trailer for this as it basically gives you the entire story anyway. Hopefully Creed will be a lot better.Fantastic Four
This has got a lot of absolutely terrible reviews and TBH I don't really understand why. Not a great entry into the superhero genre by any means but no worse than some of Marvels weaker offerings (Captain America, Iron Man 2 & 3 etc.)
The director (Josh Trank) has suggested that it was butchered by the studio before release and it shows, the final act feeling especially underwritten and rushed.
A shame really as it's got a good cast and is a definite improvement on the last 2 atrocities IMHO.
6/10
Went to see no escape last night. Despite a couple unintentionally funny moments I was impressed. Without being too over the top it's one of the most tense films I've seen in a while. Good rather than fun, I think I left the cinema feeling more stressed than when I went in!
I'd probably go for an 8/10.
I'd probably go for an 8/10.
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