Bad Films I watched this weekend

[Adam B]

Plastic - I have no idea where to start with this one, like an episode of Hollyoaks with machine guns and a Miami location

Terrible

2/10 and both points are for the girl in the bikini, who apparently and ironically is an actress from Hollyoaks

Edited by Adam B on Monday 19th May 11:01

[GnuBee]

Pacific Rim.

Nice aesthetic (good to see someone else who hasn't assumed that the future has to be monochromatic and constantly raining) but apart from that oh dear.

Lots of men being men, ooh so brave, so macho, so predictable.

I particularly liked the EMP that knocked everything out but it's ok because we can use Burberry Mk2 which is like totally, you know, analog as it's nooclear.

Even Ron Perlman in gold shoes couldn't save it (although it was a valiant attempt).

Then for a film all about big, huge, ginormous thing(s) hitting one another the epic end battle took place in an environment with no references to human scale and could have just been robots 1 foot high fighting bugs.

[H22observer]

Shutter Island.

It got 8.1/10 on IMDB, but i thought it was very poor and some scenes looked a bit low budget and cheap.

Last time i saw something this bad was Cloud Atlas.

[ESOG]

Johnnytheboy said:

Halmyre said:

ESOG said:

Johnnytheboy said:

I know I'm a few years late, but I just sat through Black Swan.

OMFG that is without doubt one of the worse films I've ever seen.

I don't even know where to begin...

You must be on some sort of point in your life when you cannot appreciate fine theatrics such as the Black Swan. May I ask how old you are..

I saw Black Swan at the cinema (I think I was the only male in an audience of about two dozen). I thought it was one of the most disturbing things I'd ever seen, A modern day 'Red Shoes'.

My mum and her pals (all in their twilight years!) went to see it because they thought a film about ballet dancers would be perfect entertainment...

41, to answer the earlier question. I absolutely "must be on some sort of point in my life when I cannot appreciate fine theatrics such as the Black Swan". Have a for the most pretentious thing I've read on PH to date.

My fundamental problems with it were:

(a) the pacing, which was far too rapid for the subject matter. It was like watching a 90 minute music video, or a normal film on slight fast forward.
(b) my own perceived lack of any sympathy for the lead character. She didn't start by being a particularly likeable person and consequently I found it very hard to care what happened to her within about ten minutes.
(c) the film busted its hallucination flush too early. So again, I no longer really took much notice of anything that happened to her because I didn't know (or care) whether it mattered.
(d) the French choreographer was such a cliché he may as well of been made of a single piece of cardboard.

My OH and I give films a rating out of ten after we watch them. We usually argue at least a bit and end up agreeing on a fairly inoffensive rating to keep the peace.

This time we both just said "zero".

I'm sorry but I just cant see how anybody could give Black Swan a rating of "zero". I can maybe understand if it isn't 'your thing', but to not be able to appreciate the theatrics of it all as well as the dark under tones baffles me.

[Nom de ploom]

I agree re vincent cassells' portrayal of the master was hackneyed and cliched - if the point was that he was contributing to her losing her mind then it would surely have been more subtle?

however "likeable" or not Portmans' character was the fact that she trained as a ballerina for a year in order to film it as a dancer was superb and as female lead performances go over the last few years it was a standout one for me.

I thought the film was a 6.5-7/10 all in.

[Nom de ploom]

Project X.

Risible. Lazy. Self Indulgent. Unfunny.

wanted to be a combination of (pick your cliche) Porkys, American Pie, Animal House, throw in a bit of Ferris / wierd science etc.

how this has got 6.7 on IMDB is beyond me. This watched like a live rave from the 1990's without the decent soundtrack.

utter utter utter ste. avoid.

[Daniel1]

Nom de ploom said:

Project X.

Risible. Lazy. Self Indulgent. Unfunny.

wanted to be a combination of (pick your cliche) Porkys, American Pie, Animal House, throw in a bit of Ferris / wierd science etc.

how this has got 6.7 on IMDB is beyond me. This watched like a live rave from the 1990's without the decent soundtrack.

utter utter utter ste. avoid.

It was like a teenage boys fantasy. I thought it was ste too.

[irocfan]

Daniel1 said:

Nom de ploom said:

Project X.

Risible. Lazy. Self Indulgent. Unfunny.

wanted to be a combination of (pick your cliche) Porkys, American Pie, Animal House, throw in a bit of Ferris / wierd science etc.

how this has got 6.7 on IMDB is beyond me. This watched like a live rave from the 1990's without the decent soundtrack.

utter utter utter ste. avoid.

It was like a teenage boys fantasy. I thought it was ste too.

personally I remember quite fondly - though TBF a quarter of a century does put rose tints on (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093793/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_54)

[FamilyDub]

'American Hustle'

Garbage, meandering nonsense, I thought.

Style over substance. 5/10

[Negative Creep]

Robocop - I knew it would never live up to the original, which is one of my favourite films of all time, but I never thought it would be so anodyne and dull. There's very little character buildup, and Murphy is so bland you never relate to him or what he goes through. The fight scenes are all over far too quickly and have that 12A feel all over them and Robocop himself is far too quick and agile, losing much of the imposing awe he previously had. It also doesn't properly answer the question of why you'd even need him when they already have massive armies of perfectly capable robots.

One of the great things about the original was that OCP wasn't just Generic Evil Inc - morally questionable but didn't have any sinister motives, but all of that is quickly forgotten here in an attempt to have some sort of villain, since the ones who try and kill Murphy originally are so forgettable I couldn't tell you their names. His bike was cool though.

[bristolracer]

Gravity

What a pile of steaming S***e

What was all the Hype about?
Knew i should have watched Wallander (Swedish version) instead

[tobinen]

Lockout. Was hoping for something reasonable from Luc Besson and with Guy Pearce. What a load of st

[Elroy Blue]

Anchorman 2. I'm an hour into it and don't think I can take much more

[RyanTank]

Posted this in the Good films as a response to others reviews, so should be in here -

Godzilla


Saw it yesterday as the only acceptable option having got delayed on way to cinema so missed the start of X-Men & Spiderman 2.

I've not been this disappointed in a film since Prometheus.
For me the film was a full "America... fk yeah... were awesome... Lets make it all about us and not the giant monster called Godzilla"

I'd probably only give it a 4/10 for the special effects only.


And for the fact that you don't even see Godzilla until at least an hour into a film named after it is just stupid. Also in what world do you not check on a radiation feeding MUTO, stored in a radioactive storage facility. Or the fact that you then not notice a whole section of that facility is missing until you need to check its there!!!!
Can anyone explain what Godzilla shoots from its mouth too? because traditionally in the Jap/anime cartoons/movies he shoots radiation. which would have been inefective to the radiation eating MUTO's!

[Alapeno]

Pacific Rim.

If you could take every movie cliche there ever was and cram them all into one film then this would be it.

That being said, some of the action was entertaining but is it's only redeeming feature.

3/10

[irocfan]

Alapeno said:

Pacific Rim.

If you could take every movie cliche there ever was and cram them all into one film then this would be it.

That being said, some of the action was entertaining but is it's only redeeming feature.

3/10

and despite that it's STILL better than Godzilla 2014

[Ozone]

bristolracer said:

Gravity

What a pile of steaming S***e

What was all the Hype about?
Knew i should have watched Wallander (Swedish version) instead

I think you need to watch it on a cinema screen because it's about the visuals more than the story. I felt the same about Avatar, it is crap on TV but looked great on an IMAX

[bstb3]

P-Jay said:

I had suspected that given there was much less hype about this one than 'Shaun' and 'Fuzz' it might have some issues - but as above, it's not very funny, the story is silly, but not 'good silly' and the sort of twist at the end that was building up for 90 mins was pretty obvious from the start - mostly because it's shown, at the start.

The disc I had was slightly damaged so the last 5-10 mins didn't play properly - I don't feel cheated by that.

If that last 5-10 minutes includes the bit I think it does then you missed my personal (and pretty much only) highlight of the movie.

The drunken argument with the alien voice, underneath the worlds end pub. Pegg's very drunk Gary King character (referred to by the alien as Gary, King of the humans): "Why dont you just get back in your rocket and fk off then, you !! And it does too!

[menousername]

H22observer said:

Shutter Island.

It got 8.1/10 on IMDB, but i thought it was very poor and some scenes looked a bit low budget and cheap.

Last time i saw something this bad was Cloud Atlas.

Suprised by this... thought this was one of the best films I have seen

[chris watton]

menousername said:

H22observer said:

Shutter Island.

It got 8.1/10 on IMDB, but i thought it was very poor and some scenes looked a bit low budget and cheap.

Last time i saw something this bad was Cloud Atlas.

Suprised by this... thought this was one of the best films I have seen

I initially thought it was great - but ultimately, for all of its undoubted style and flair, it was utterly predictable and tension-free. IMOHO, anyway...