Some help please....Maintance payments
Discussion
Just wondering if anyone can answer my question, before I head to the C.A. for advice.
I left my ex over 2 years ago (not married, but together for just under 15 years), and up till the last 3 months, he has taken our son most weekends, and some of the holidays(1/3). And paid £100 a month maintance...a privately arrange agreement between the two of us.
However lately, he has been spending less time with his son, as he is involved with a new partner and her 4 kids (Not living together though).
Then this morning he annouces that he is no longer willing to have his son weekly, or 3 in every 4 wks...but wants him just 2 weekends per month, with no other contact. Plus holidays will probably not happen at all.
I have therefore decided that I will probably be better going to the CSA to get what my son in entitled to. As going on his wages 2 years ago, he should have been paying at least £150 a month. The money he pays to me, goes into an account for my sons future, and is never touched.
What I am wondering, I get both Family and Working tax credit, but no other benefits except Child Benefit. Well my tax credits be reduced, if I claim through CSA. And will I even see the extra maintance money? Or am I best to stick with what I've got?
I never wanted to go down this route, but when a father chooses another mans kids over his own, then I see no other route.
It's bad enough that his son is already asking why his dad no longer wants to spend as much time as he used to
And feel free to call me a SWT...past caring. I am doing this for my son, and not for the money.
I left my ex over 2 years ago (not married, but together for just under 15 years), and up till the last 3 months, he has taken our son most weekends, and some of the holidays(1/3). And paid £100 a month maintance...a privately arrange agreement between the two of us.
However lately, he has been spending less time with his son, as he is involved with a new partner and her 4 kids (Not living together though).
Then this morning he annouces that he is no longer willing to have his son weekly, or 3 in every 4 wks...but wants him just 2 weekends per month, with no other contact. Plus holidays will probably not happen at all.
I have therefore decided that I will probably be better going to the CSA to get what my son in entitled to. As going on his wages 2 years ago, he should have been paying at least £150 a month. The money he pays to me, goes into an account for my sons future, and is never touched.
What I am wondering, I get both Family and Working tax credit, but no other benefits except Child Benefit. Well my tax credits be reduced, if I claim through CSA. And will I even see the extra maintance money? Or am I best to stick with what I've got?
I never wanted to go down this route, but when a father chooses another mans kids over his own, then I see no other route.
It's bad enough that his son is already asking why his dad no longer wants to spend as much time as he used to
And feel free to call me a SWT...past caring. I am doing this for my son, and not for the money.
If your concern is the impact on your son, then I don't think the extra cash from the CSA is going to make your son any happier. I suggest you sit your ex down and discuss it with him calmly, from the point of view of your son and his anxiety that his father appears to want to see less of him. Threatening your ex with the CSA is going to make him defensive and unco-operative. Save that for a lot later down the track, if all else fails.
Bluebarge said:
If your concern is the impact on your son, then I don't think the extra cash from the CSA is going to make your son any happier. I suggest you sit your ex down and discuss it with him calmly, from the point of view of your son and his anxiety that his father appears to want to see less of him. Threatening your ex with the CSA is going to make him defensive and unco-operative. Save that for a lot later down the track, if all else fails.
+1. He wants a good time with his Dad, not time watching you two argue.I think the reduced contact is the biggest worry and the thing you need to sort with the ex as maintaining that relationships is the thing that will most benefit your son.
I have tried to sit down with him, and reason...but his mind is set.
He honestly thinks only of himself, the main reason I left him in the first place.
As I have said, his son is already asking me why he can't go to his dad's as often as he used to.
I came from a divorced family, and I know what it's like to have parents who fight constantly. And therefore I have lied to my son so far to protect him (and his father I suppose)
No money won't make a difference, but it will help put a roof over his head, and buy him clothes, food and extras like out of school activities.
Right now, I would love to tell my ex to stick his dosh.
He honestly thinks only of himself, the main reason I left him in the first place.
As I have said, his son is already asking me why he can't go to his dad's as often as he used to.
I came from a divorced family, and I know what it's like to have parents who fight constantly. And therefore I have lied to my son so far to protect him (and his father I suppose)
No money won't make a difference, but it will help put a roof over his head, and buy him clothes, food and extras like out of school activities.
Right now, I would love to tell my ex to stick his dosh.
haworthlloyd1 said:
I don't know but seeing you as getting working tax credit, family tax credit and child benefit and possibly some money from the CSA - surely at some point the benefits will have to stop rolling in? would have thought that any CSA payment you get would hinder your benefits although i'm no expert on it. Having said that you should be declaring the money you get off him anyway.
I have declared everything he has given me, and everyone gets Child benefit. So it is my Working and Family tax I am worried about.Penny-lope said:
I have tried to sit down with him, and reason...but his mind is set.
He honestly thinks only of himself, the main reason I left him in the first place.
As I have said, his son is already asking me why he can't go to his dad's as often as he used to.
I came from a divorced family, and I know what it's like to have parents who fight constantly. And therefore I have lied to my son so far to protect him (and his father I suppose)
No money won't make a difference, but it will help put a roof over his head, and buy him clothes, food and extras like out of school activities.
Right now, I would love to tell my ex to stick his dosh.
I think that it is his responsibility to tell your son why the arrangements are changing.He honestly thinks only of himself, the main reason I left him in the first place.
As I have said, his son is already asking me why he can't go to his dad's as often as he used to.
I came from a divorced family, and I know what it's like to have parents who fight constantly. And therefore I have lied to my son so far to protect him (and his father I suppose)
No money won't make a difference, but it will help put a roof over his head, and buy him clothes, food and extras like out of school activities.
Right now, I would love to tell my ex to stick his dosh.
You don't have to get into any arguments with him over the money - just make your claim and don't discuss it, let the CSA do their job.
As for the point about tax credits - what you seem to be asking is whether it's worth making a claim for increased maintenance payments if you won't see any net benefit because I and the other tax payers on this forum pick up the slack for your ex......
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