Discussion
Had a phone call from my mum earlier tonight, in which she suggested that in the next few weeks i should make time to visit my dad, who was trying to get over stomach cancer,twice, and the local hospital giving him c-dificile. He has had this for the last 2 and a half years, and i think the old guy has decided as he has reached 75, and my parents have had their golden wedding anniversary, that he has nowt left to live for. Mrs slopes is in floods of tears as she wants to remember him as he was before he got stomach cancer, and doesnt want to go see him in the hospice, not out of malice, but to have nice long term memories, rather than bad ones and so i am hoping the old guy lasts till after christmas, but i am not holding too much hope. Oh, and just to add the icing to the cake, my brother, the prodigal son, has been to see them loads of times this year, but then he earns about twice what i do, and i am getting that thrown in my face, familys eh, who'd have them
missdiane said:
Sorry to hear, but I think you will regret it big time if you didn't go. Is it far? Edited by missdiane on Thursday 14th October 20:52
ked in our houseMazda Baiter said:
Time to drop everything and go fella.
If work don't understand then they are c nts.
Make time.
I work from home mate, so time off isn't a problem. So i believe, he has made an improvement since being shifted from the hospital, but not enough to warrant going home, so long trip south it is then. I can see i am going to hate the end of the year after this is all overIf work don't understand then they are c nts.
Make time.
snowy slopes said:
I work from home mate, so time off isn't a problem. So i believe, he has made an improvement since being shifted from the hospital, but not enough to warrant going home, so long trip south it is then. I can see i am going to hate the end of the year after this is all over
It's the right thing to do, seeing him is about letting him see you, forget the "nice memories only" approach - it's just selfish.I lost my mum to lung cancer last year. I watched her go down hill from day to day - i hated seeing it but i'm glad i was there until the end. I still remember her in better times. Don't miss out on seeing your dad.
My OH lost her sister to cancer last year too, we both have happy memories of her.
You won't just remember the bad times.
My OH lost her sister to cancer last year too, we both have happy memories of her.
You won't just remember the bad times.
snowy slopes said:
Oh, and just to add the icing to the cake, my brother, the prodigal son, has been to see them loads of times this year, but then he earns about twice what i do, and i am getting that thrown in my face, familys eh, who'd have them
snowy slopes said:
Its about 170 miles each way. I am just trying to scrape together the petrol money
Really sorry to hear this. It must be rubbish to hear it over the phone and have steel yourself for the bumpy ride, be strong, you will get through it.I had this earlier this year although mine was great Aunt so 'easier' in that way. I'm lucky that my family pulled together to help us.
However, if your bro earns all that and can afford to so travel so much why not swallow your pride and ask him for help? If your bro is any kind of a human being he will help you see your dad and hang the petrol money. You two are the closest family you have he will help you but I will hazard a guess he doesn't know your money situation. Ask him and I am sure he will help you. It's difficult I know but it's just f
king money and it's your dad we're talking about!Chin up fella
I got the call almost a year to the day to get to the hospital as mum was going. She had been ill with cancer for a year i just dropped everything and went and was so glad i did i was able to tell her how much i loved her the last thing she said to me was "i dont think i'm very well".She died the following day.
My advice is move any obstacle that is in your way, if its just money put it on a card, go overdrawn,
rob a bank you get one set of parents and before you know it they are gone spend as much time with them as you can.
My advice is move any obstacle that is in your way, if its just money put it on a card, go overdrawn,
rob a bank you get one set of parents and before you know it they are gone spend as much time with them as you can.
BruceV8 said:
Where are you and where is he? I'm travelling from London to Scotland at the start of November, then back again on or about the 10th. If all else fails, I'll have a spare seat available.
Generous bloke Bruce, well done.I'll echo the thoughts of others on here, my mum passed away 2 years ago after a rapid decline due to Cancer, I still miss her and desperately wish she was still here to moan at me and give me advice at the same time, as she did. If you don't see your dad as much as you can now, you'll always regret it. Work, money, it's all temporary anyway, life's too short to have regrets.
snowy slopes said:
Mazda Baiter said:
Time to drop everything and go fella.
If work don't understand then they are c nts.
Make time.
I work from home mate, so time off isn't a problem. So i believe, he has made an improvement since being shifted from the hospital, but not enough to warrant going home, so long trip south it is then. I can see i am going to hate the end of the year after this is all overIf work don't understand then they are c nts.
Make time.
snowy slopes said:
Its about 170 miles each way. I am just trying to scrape together the petrol money, then i am going next thursday
snowy slopes said:
apparently the hospice staff have told my mum to gather any family members before the middle of november.
They suggest he might have four weeks left, and you wasting one of them ? That is 25%. What on earth is stopping you this weekend ?
C'mon, you are in shock after the call - but if he's been ill then its not a massive surprise I presume - but as has been said, you only have one set of parents. Go, if only for your own sake, if not your mothers.
play this
If the money really is an issue, beg, borrow, steal it even...................................
The time comes to us all, and personally I am dreading it, but this time, its your turn. Everyday might count. This post might seem harsh but my thoughts are with you
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