Anyone else's wife faff about un-necessarily?

[Bullett]

Moonhawk said:

HTP99 said:

She cannot just do one thing without getting distracted and doing something else.....

It's what women call "multitasking"

It's defined as:

The act of doing two things simultaneously - but taking four times longer than it would have taken to do them individually

And doing a half-arsed job of all of them.

[Evangelion]

After reading a couple of pages of this thread I realised why it looked so familiar; it's because there was an almost identical thread recently, at another forum I'm on.

Due to the wonders of copy-and-paste, I can now save loads of time by posting here what I posted there:

My late father used to say to me, "Get ready first!" In other words, if you're going somewhere, be ready to leave in plenty of time, then you can sit reading a book or watching the telly, and when it's time to go, just get up and you're straight out the house. Good advice. Even if I didn't always take it. (And sometimes don't to this day.)

I used to have a girlfriend who would always faff about for ages, leave getting ready until the last possible moment, and of course make herself late. And me with her. After a few months, I realised that I hadn't arrived on time anywhere since I'd met her. So the next time I just said, "I'm leaving at seven. If you're ready you can come with me. If not you'll be left behind."

She didn't do it again.

[sinbaddio]

Moonhawk said:

HTP99 said:

She cannot just do one thing without getting distracted and doing something else.....

It's what women call "multitasking"

It's defined as:

The act of doing two things simultaneously - but taking four times longer than it would have taken to do them individually

Or - the art of doing multiple things badly at the same time, rather than doing one thing correctly.

[juan king]

My Mrs is really good with punctuality and no faffing either so no complaints there, my biggest bug bear with her is she gets 'hangry'. She doesn't have set times to eat when were out and about but when she decides shes hungry I have half an hour to find suitable food, and its somehow my fault for not planning ahead properly. It bothers me because if busy I can go all day without eating, but to her its life or death. Other than that she's pretty easy going tbh.

[J4CKO]

My grandma has this weird habit of wrapping everything in paper and string, she isnt mental but if I do a job I have to get the screwdriver box out and then unwrap the bloody things, then wrap them back up.

[funkyrobot]

J4CKO said:

My grandma has this weird habit of wrapping everything in paper and string, she isnt mental but if I do a job I have to get the screwdriver box out and then unwrap the bloody things, then wrap them back up.

I don't know what's worse. The faff or the fact you married your grandma.

[tezzer]

citizensm1th said:

my life word for word

ditto. Drives me fkin nuts.

[SeeFive]

Always late - check
Always sat in the car after parking and I am outside in the rain with my finger on the blipper - check.
Always something else to do after she has said she is "ready" to leave - check

But she happens to be the prettiest, most affectionate loving and sexiest creature on the planet. More than makes up for those nuances which are somehow endearing and comical under most circumstances.

[del mar]

Mrs Mar has been on the phone - I am at work.

"I have a puncture."

She has money
She has a phone
She has recovery service

Her plan is to continue driving it for two miles to the Tyre garage, during which time she will have wrecked the tyre, and possibly damaged the wheel - will I pay for a new one ??

[Speed 3]

Try it with a wife AND two daughters, its a wonder we ever leave the house as a group together.

[antspants]

It's me not my wife that is always late. It's not because I take a long time to get ready, I just always leave it till the last minute to get ready.

I reassure myself that like SeeFive my wife finds this comical and endearing, she's just got a funny way of showing it!

[RC1807]

Speed 3 said:

Try it with a wife AND two daughters, its a wonder we ever leave the house as a group together.

Aha! That's a different issue - 2 teenage daughters here, too. My wife's always hurrying them along!

[Emily's dad]

karona said:

Approach car, pop the locks with the fob, only she's already lifted the passenger door handle, so her door won't unlock. She lets go, I relock the car, she hears the 'thunk' so lifts the handle again, just as I press unlock
rinse and repeat.
Every. Fekkin. Time.

Yep, this. If she's done it once she's done it a thousands times.

[Cob1]

Mrs Cob1 does the following:

Waits until we are beyond late, car is loaded, child is in car seat and car has been started before she 'has to go to the loo'.
Has to keep all boxes and receipts for things bought. For years/ever. 'In case we need to take them back'.
Has to leave shops via the same door that she went into. Took me 3 years to notice this was a thing. Still don't know why.

I on the other hand, apparently:

Don't pay for things with spare change. Ever. Record is £800 in shrapnel stored around the house.
Refuse to remember the names of people that I find boring. Or in fact remember that I've met them at all. I have introduced myself to the one friend of hers on no less than 5 different occasions and still couldn't name them now.
When she's driving and I'm a passenger (ie only when I'm drunk) I give 'helpful driving advice', which isn't helpful, apparently.

So, swings and roundabouts, I guess..

[MKnight702]

Moonhawk said:

Mine does the 'sitting in the car' thing too.

• Get home
• Stop car and turn engine off
• Unbuckle seat belt
• Grab phone
• Get out of car
• Open boot
• Extract shopping bags
• Close boot
• Walk towards front door
• Turn to remote lock the car

........she's still sat in the passenger seat with her seatbelt on!!

Edited by Moonhawk on Monday 13th March 09:17

This one's obvious, she's waiting for you to open the door like a gentlemen should.

[Monkeylegend]

My other half doesn't faff but she has this habit of asking me if I want to watch anything on TV. I mean how stupid is that. I am arguing on PH.

She will then put one of her programmes on while I have my head in the laptop, only to continually talk to me about the programme she is watching that I don't give a toss about.

She's doing it now, watching a recording of Bargain Hunt

[anonymous-user]

Common theme- a few miles from town :-
Me- have you got change for the car park
Wife-yes
Arrive
5 minutes of rummaging, the said change arrives...

[citizensm1th]

Bullett said:

Moonhawk said:

HTP99 said:

She cannot just do one thing without getting distracted and doing something else.....

It's what women call "multitasking"

It's defined as:

The act of doing two things simultaneously - but taking four times longer than it would have taken to do them individually

And doing a half-arsed job of all of them.

On this note Mrs Smith has the incredibly annoying habit of picking up multiple items in her tinny tiny hands and proceeding to drop them on the way to where ever she was going to place them.

She then proceeds to call the items stupid even though they are inanimate objects and the reason they are now scattered all over the floor is her inability to realise she cannot carry the contents of the house all at once!

Of cause i never fail to point out she would be better off carrying one item at a time and actually concentrating on that task alone.
My beer always tastes so much better while she is glowering at me sat on the sofa watching the rugby.

[citizensm1th]

Monkeylegend said:

My other half doesn't faff but she has this habit of asking me if I want to watch anything on TV. I mean how stupid is that. I am arguing on PH.

She will then put one of her programmes on while I have my head in the laptop, only to continually talk to me about the programme she is watching that I don't give a toss about.

She's doing it now, watching a recording of Bargain Hunt

Yep mine dose that to, its generally some reality bks or a death and murder hospital/crime crap.

[Monkeylegend]

citizensm1th said:

Yep mine dose that to, its generally some reality bks or a death and murder hospital/crime crap.

We are now onto A Place in the Sun, and I don't care that it's £25k over budget