Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
Given the times that are in it.....
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irish man got 3 wishes from a genie, they decided to take one each.
The Englishman said to build a giant wall around England to keep all the bloody foreigners out.
The Scotsman asked to be locked in a castle with a 50 year supply of whisky and 10 beautiful red haired women.
The Irishman said, tell me more about the Englishman's wall. The genie said it is one mile high and half a mile thick and completely surrounds England with no way through.
Fair enough says the Irishman, fill her up with water so.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irish man got 3 wishes from a genie, they decided to take one each.
The Englishman said to build a giant wall around England to keep all the bloody foreigners out.
The Scotsman asked to be locked in a castle with a 50 year supply of whisky and 10 beautiful red haired women.
The Irishman said, tell me more about the Englishman's wall. The genie said it is one mile high and half a mile thick and completely surrounds England with no way through.
Fair enough says the Irishman, fill her up with water so.
A Muslim couple in Lakemba, preparing for their wedding, meet the Mullah for counselling.
The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, "We realise it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women.
But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes!"
"Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No." says the Mullah.
"Why not?" asks the man.
"It could lead to dancing."
The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, "We realise it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women.
But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes!"
"Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No." says the Mullah.
"Why not?" asks the man.
"It could lead to dancing."
Laurel Green said:
A Muslim couple in Lakemba, preparing for their wedding, meet the Mullah for counselling.
The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, "We realise it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women.
But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes!"
"Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No." says the Mullah.
"Why not?" asks the man.
"It could lead to dancing."
The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, "We realise it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women.
But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes!"
"Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No." says the Mullah.
"Why not?" asks the man.
"It could lead to dancing."
EarlOfHazard said:
Laurel Green said:
A Muslim couple in Lakemba, preparing for their wedding, meet the Mullah for counselling.
The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, "We realise it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women.
But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes!"
"Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No." says the Mullah.
"Why not?" asks the man.
"It could lead to dancing."
The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, "We realise it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women.
But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes!"
"Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No." says the Mullah.
"Why not?" asks the man.
"It could lead to dancing."
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