The Cancer Kiss off - being dumped after diagnosis
Discussion
I do plan to get rid of everything as mentioned so working on it this week.
I spoke to a solicitor who came highly recommended by the previous lady at the contact centre who has good contacts in the legal system. I spoke to her and she certainly seems on it, after a quick brief on what's happened she sounded like she wanted to kick some ass there n then
. She said all I need to get is a letter from my doc/oncologist saying I've been examined in the last 24 months, and in their view the the mental abuse had contributed in my deterioration and poor health. Sounds easier than it probably will be. If I can get that she said she would sort out the mess of the contact situation. Apparently a very experienced solicitor in domestic violence/divorce/ family cases.
Mental may just end up taking most of what I've worked my ass off for but I'm not going to let her get it without a fight. She's representing herself, so I may have a minuscule chance of getting some justice if I can get the solicitor on my side via legal aid. I've got to try. I do understand that she may take most and may not be the most resourceful thing to fight the divorce, ill always wonder what if, if I don't fight her for the house.
She hasn't replied to my email or letter ( recorded) to see my son tomorrow on his Birthday, no doubt she'll make a big deal out of me not giving a toss even though I have tried and tried to see him, that's how deluded she is. Ill have to see him Saturday at the contact centre and give him his presents there. I love him so much and the most painful thing is the thought he may have that Daddy doesn't love him or care....that thought hurts like hell.
On a happier note, my friend has just bought me and him a ticket for the British GP Friday, a really nice gesture.
I remember this time last year I took my son to see F1 for the first time and he loved it, on the slightly cold and wet Friday, with his wooly hat and oversized ear defenders, looked so cute especially walking back to the car with Hamiltons Mclaren firmly under his arm. Damn it's gonna hurt going there again
I spoke to a solicitor who came highly recommended by the previous lady at the contact centre who has good contacts in the legal system. I spoke to her and she certainly seems on it, after a quick brief on what's happened she sounded like she wanted to kick some ass there n then
. She said all I need to get is a letter from my doc/oncologist saying I've been examined in the last 24 months, and in their view the the mental abuse had contributed in my deterioration and poor health. Sounds easier than it probably will be. If I can get that she said she would sort out the mess of the contact situation. Apparently a very experienced solicitor in domestic violence/divorce/ family cases.Mental may just end up taking most of what I've worked my ass off for but I'm not going to let her get it without a fight. She's representing herself, so I may have a minuscule chance of getting some justice if I can get the solicitor on my side via legal aid. I've got to try. I do understand that she may take most and may not be the most resourceful thing to fight the divorce, ill always wonder what if, if I don't fight her for the house.
She hasn't replied to my email or letter ( recorded) to see my son tomorrow on his Birthday, no doubt she'll make a big deal out of me not giving a toss even though I have tried and tried to see him, that's how deluded she is. Ill have to see him Saturday at the contact centre and give him his presents there. I love him so much and the most painful thing is the thought he may have that Daddy doesn't love him or care....that thought hurts like hell.
On a happier note, my friend has just bought me and him a ticket for the British GP Friday, a really nice gesture.
I remember this time last year I took my son to see F1 for the first time and he loved it, on the slightly cold and wet Friday, with his wooly hat and oversized ear defenders, looked so cute especially walking back to the car with Hamiltons Mclaren firmly under his arm. Damn it's gonna hurt going there again
incredibly courageous story ,and yes, I agree with everything that has been said about crying ,its a way of finally processing some of the awful emotions that build up ,so go to it ,it takes a lot of guts to have a good cry and let go ,but its so good for you .
to get through what you have had to ,and retain the ability to come on here and share it in such a dignified way ,and battle on with the bloody female is amazing, truly inspirational. you should be very very proud of yourself.
regards
robert
to get through what you have had to ,and retain the ability to come on here and share it in such a dignified way ,and battle on with the bloody female is amazing, truly inspirational. you should be very very proud of yourself.
regards
robert
sk7ine man said:
It's going well. I'm managing to ride now without too much pain and now have the strength to wheel it around a bit more (I'm only small at 5'6). I started with short rides around the local area and now frequent going to the Ace Cafe which is 10 miles away if the weather is good just to get out n about a bit. My longest journey has been 45miles to my friends farm in Aylesbury and that was without too much discomfort.
Sadly however I think I may have to sell the bike before the divorce hearing in September, as she is going for all the financial orders against me. So I'm gonna make the most of the next 2 months riding.
Why'd you have to sell the bike, I thought your dad bought if for you and it was therefore out of the solicitors reach?Sadly however I think I may have to sell the bike before the divorce hearing in September, as she is going for all the financial orders against me. So I'm gonna make the most of the next 2 months riding.
julian64 said:
Why'd you have to sell the bike, I thought your dad bought if for you and it was therefore out of the solicitors reach?
Good point. Is the fact it's registered to me applicable or that I can actual prove the legal owner is my father?Edited by sk7ine man on Friday 21st June 15:14
Received another kick in the gonads today. She's instructed some cheap some cheap one fee type solicitor up north with regards to the house, with some outrageous lies.
The letter goes on about our former matrimonial home. It states that I rented it without her knowledge as that's F@cking BS as we were together last July and the reason we moved out and back to my parents is that I had become too ill to work and afford to pay the mortgage and she's well aware we rented it through my friends estate agency.
It goes on requiring me to provide a complete set of keys, a copy of the tenancy agreement, contract between me and the agent, proof of where the money is received,full names and contacts of the tenants stating there's a number of adults residing there (more BS as just couple and child) and asking who inspects the house.
It then goes on stating the property needs grass cutting etc.
I mean who the F$ck does she think she is after all this time of me paying for and maintaining the property through my ill health, even on my bloody death bed, she didn't give a toss then, now all of a sudden it's 'Oh our grass is too long' F@ck off you silly w@nkers.
Sorry I'm just so angry right now. I'm a bit of stale mate now whilst waiting to see my oncologist on monday then getting hopefully the right letter from her to then give to solicitor to start the process. In desperation I did phone my Mckenzie friend as to what to do and he said there a few ways to play it. Best would be to acknowledge the letter and prolong it. He mentioned about running a deficit in the property and to ask for £xxx for payments towards the mortgage. There's also all the other things I've had done which she should pay towards.
Arghhhhh, stupid f@cking bint.
The letter goes on about our former matrimonial home. It states that I rented it without her knowledge as that's F@cking BS as we were together last July and the reason we moved out and back to my parents is that I had become too ill to work and afford to pay the mortgage and she's well aware we rented it through my friends estate agency.
It goes on requiring me to provide a complete set of keys, a copy of the tenancy agreement, contract between me and the agent, proof of where the money is received,full names and contacts of the tenants stating there's a number of adults residing there (more BS as just couple and child) and asking who inspects the house.
It then goes on stating the property needs grass cutting etc.
I mean who the F$ck does she think she is after all this time of me paying for and maintaining the property through my ill health, even on my bloody death bed, she didn't give a toss then, now all of a sudden it's 'Oh our grass is too long' F@ck off you silly w@nkers.
Sorry I'm just so angry right now. I'm a bit of stale mate now whilst waiting to see my oncologist on monday then getting hopefully the right letter from her to then give to solicitor to start the process. In desperation I did phone my Mckenzie friend as to what to do and he said there a few ways to play it. Best would be to acknowledge the letter and prolong it. He mentioned about running a deficit in the property and to ask for £xxx for payments towards the mortgage. There's also all the other things I've had done which she should pay towards.
Arghhhhh, stupid f@cking bint.
I really can't begin to fathom how you must be feeling and have nothing but admiration for the fact that you are somehow continuing to hold yourself together. Reading this makes me so angry and I just don't understand how anyone could do this to another human being. I feel like your story should be heard by the whole nation and this poor excuse for a human being should be humiliated to the point where she is ashamed to go outside.
I know that you've said no, and that's very noble, but please allow us to donate towards legal fees (or anything that will make your life better). Everyone reading this wants to help you and for many who aren't nearby this is our only way. Being strong and self reliant is great, but there is a huge network of people here who are willing and able to support you and hopefully make your life a little bit easier.
Stay strong and never forget that one day your lad will learn all about this and know that his Dad is one of the strongest men alive.
I know that you've said no, and that's very noble, but please allow us to donate towards legal fees (or anything that will make your life better). Everyone reading this wants to help you and for many who aren't nearby this is our only way. Being strong and self reliant is great, but there is a huge network of people here who are willing and able to support you and hopefully make your life a little bit easier.
Stay strong and never forget that one day your lad will learn all about this and know that his Dad is one of the strongest men alive.
Keep this thread linked, when your son is old enough let him read through your struggle and he will no doubt pass judgment on the nasty piece of hores
t that he has been unfortunately lumbered with as a mother.
His rejection and hatred of her in her latter years will serve as a good payback.
As per another thread, karma is a bh and it will find her.
t that he has been unfortunately lumbered with as a mother.His rejection and hatred of her in her latter years will serve as a good payback.
As per another thread, karma is a b
h and it will find her.King David said:
I really can't begin to fathom how you must be feeling and have nothing but admiration for the fact that you are somehow continuing to hold yourself together. Reading this makes me so angry and I just don't understand how anyone could do this to another human being. I feel like your story should be heard by the whole nation and this poor excuse for a human being should be humiliated to the point where she is ashamed to go outside.
I know that you've said no, and that's very noble, but please allow us to donate towards legal fees (or anything that will make your life better). Everyone reading this wants to help you and for many who aren't nearby this is our only way. Being strong and self reliant is great, but there is a huge network of people here who are willing and able to support you and hopefully make your life a little bit easier.
Stay strong and never forget that one day your lad will learn all about this and know that his Dad is one of the strongest men alive.
Thank you. I've been speaking to Mobile Chicane and have asked that if anyone wants to donate ( please please don't feel like you have to) then as I don't have a PayPal account someone could hold onto the money until such time I need to oay legal fees if the legal aid doesn't work out, do you think that's fair?I know that you've said no, and that's very noble, but please allow us to donate towards legal fees (or anything that will make your life better). Everyone reading this wants to help you and for many who aren't nearby this is our only way. Being strong and self reliant is great, but there is a huge network of people here who are willing and able to support you and hopefully make your life a little bit easier.
Stay strong and never forget that one day your lad will learn all about this and know that his Dad is one of the strongest men alive.
There's been many a time I've let my emotions get the better of me and have considered going to the papers. However the repercussions on my boy could ruin his life, a small chance but not one I'd ever risk for his sake.
Chim said:
Keep this thread linked, when your son is old enough let him read through your struggle and he will no doubt pass judgment on the nasty piece of horest that he has been unfortunately lumbered with as a mother.
His rejection and hatred of her in her latter years will serve as a good payback.
As per another thread, karma is a bh and it will find her.
That's exactly what I intend to do. God forbid I'm not here tomorrow then my brother has access to all the paperwork and logs so will be showing him at an age appropriate to him.....she hasn't thought that she could lose him forever.t that he has been unfortunately lumbered with as a mother.His rejection and hatred of her in her latter years will serve as a good payback.
As per another thread, karma is a b
h and it will find her.sk7ine man said:
That's exactly what I intend to do. God forbid I'm not here tomorrow then my brother has access to all the paperwork and logs so will be showing him at an age appropriate to him.....she hasn't thought that she could lose him forever.
Sorted then, now lets get that paypal account set up. More than happy to host on mine and direct funds if needed.If anyone wants to contribute just pm me, I will then send over paypal email address. Will start a little table with those that contribute, if want to stay anon just say and I will put that contribution down as anon.
Edited by Chim on Friday 21st June 18:29
I'm off to the Ace, I think I've been through enough for another day and need to get out and away. If anyone is going and wants to say hello, then just email me.
If it wasn't for my folks I'd say f@ck it and take the house but they've helped so much to wards getting me on my feet that I can't let them lose what they put in. They've struggled, worked all their lives and both still do even though my dads past retirement, I owe it to them at the very least. I have less regard for the £50k that I put in but the way she's gone about everything....you ain't get away without a fight.
If it wasn't for my folks I'd say f@ck it and take the house but they've helped so much to wards getting me on my feet that I can't let them lose what they put in. They've struggled, worked all their lives and both still do even though my dads past retirement, I owe it to them at the very least. I have less regard for the £50k that I put in but the way she's gone about everything....you ain't get away without a fight.
... no she probably has not. but in all your anger and frustrations, don't turn that in to a weapon to use against her. careful with truth such as blogs and the like, they can have away of changing lives in ways completely unexpected.
in time, when the dust has settled on this, and all is filed under history, you can leave it alone. your son will find out for himself just what his mother is like. you need do nothing to change his life or yours, or do anything that makes him wonder what his dad went through and never having you to answer that question.
do what you do because you are a person with values, beliefs and integrity. don't look for some kind of justice in truth, it will not happen the way you imagine and if you die, I'll tell you now, it will be the worst legacy you leave your son.
I understand you are raging and far beyond anything you write here, but you do need to kill dead any idea of keeping things like this just in case the worst happens. stop thinking like that lest you condemn your son to a life of misery and regret.
in time, when the dust has settled on this, and all is filed under history, you can leave it alone. your son will find out for himself just what his mother is like. you need do nothing to change his life or yours, or do anything that makes him wonder what his dad went through and never having you to answer that question.
do what you do because you are a person with values, beliefs and integrity. don't look for some kind of justice in truth, it will not happen the way you imagine and if you die, I'll tell you now, it will be the worst legacy you leave your son.
I understand you are raging and far beyond anything you write here, but you do need to kill dead any idea of keeping things like this just in case the worst happens. stop thinking like that lest you condemn your son to a life of misery and regret.
sk7ine man said:
King David said:
I really can't begin to fathom how you must be feeling and have nothing but admiration for the fact that you are somehow continuing to hold yourself together. Reading this makes me so angry and I just don't understand how anyone could do this to another human being. I feel like your story should be heard by the whole nation and this poor excuse for a human being should be humiliated to the point where she is ashamed to go outside.
I know that you've said no, and that's very noble, but please allow us to donate towards legal fees (or anything that will make your life better). Everyone reading this wants to help you and for many who aren't nearby this is our only way. Being strong and self reliant is great, but there is a huge network of people here who are willing and able to support you and hopefully make your life a little bit easier.
Stay strong and never forget that one day your lad will learn all about this and know that his Dad is one of the strongest men alive.
Thank you. I've been speaking to Mobile Chicane and have asked that if anyone wants to donate ( please please don't feel like you have to) then as I don't have a PayPal account someone could hold onto the money until such time I need to oay legal fees if the legal aid doesn't work out, do you think that's fair?I know that you've said no, and that's very noble, but please allow us to donate towards legal fees (or anything that will make your life better). Everyone reading this wants to help you and for many who aren't nearby this is our only way. Being strong and self reliant is great, but there is a huge network of people here who are willing and able to support you and hopefully make your life a little bit easier.
Stay strong and never forget that one day your lad will learn all about this and know that his Dad is one of the strongest men alive.
There's been many a time I've let my emotions get the better of me and have considered going to the papers. However the repercussions on my boy could ruin his life, a small chance but not one I'd ever risk for his sake.
Chim said:
Keep this thread linked, when your son is old enough let him read through your struggle and he will no doubt pass judgment on the nasty piece of horest that he has been unfortunately lumbered with as a mother.
His rejection and hatred of her in her latter years will serve as a good payback.
As per another thread, karma is a bh and it will find her.
That's exactly what I intend to do. God forbid I'm not here tomorrow then my brother has access to all the paperwork and logs so will be showing him at an age appropriate to him.....she hasn't thought that she could lose him forever.t that he has been unfortunately lumbered with as a mother.His rejection and hatred of her in her latter years will serve as a good payback.
As per another thread, karma is a b
h and it will find her.I have set up a PayPal account, the link to which is in my profile.
In discussions between Sam and myself, we have agreed it is better if a third party holds the funds (in case of financial audits etc) which can then be transferred direct to the solicitor's account as and when required.
Obviously I appreciate that donating via a 'stranger' requires a degree of trust that I'm not going to abscond to Panama with the funds, but I'd like to think there are enough PHers who know me personally to vouch for the fact I would never do such a thing.
Thanks very much in advance for your generosity.
Edited by Mobile Chicane on Friday 21st June 18:54
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff