Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

[sc0tt]

HOGEPH said:

Doner card? Isn't that what they wrap the kebabs in?

No thats pitta.

[HOGEPH]

sc0tt said:

No thats pitta.

Tastes like cardboard.

[dave stew]

Local dog catcher's van...

[Cotty]

s p a c e m a n said:

Can't believe Cher is trending on Twitter because people are hash tagging #nowthatthatchersdead and thinking that's #NowThatChersDead

Do you mind not cross posting from twitter. I don't know why you have a hashtag in that sentance and I don't particually want to know.

[LordGrover]

Sorry cotty... whoosh!

[Cotty]

LordGrover said:

Sorry cotty... whoosh!

I don't get the whoosh

[Marty63]

On the subject of thatcher,

apparently they are going to close the entire length of the M1 next week for a street party.

[Jonboy_t]

Genuine musing from a colleague of mine today:

"I heard on the radio that Kate Bush got some kind of award off the Queen today. Does that make her Lady Bush?"

I hope it does. I really hope it does.

[ArmaghMan]

Just back home having spent an entire day in A and E.
That Dyson ball cleaner is not at all what I was expecting.

[dave stew]

ArmaghMan said:

Just back home having spent an entire day in A and E.
That Dyson ball cleaner is not at all what I was expecting.

"Yes nurse, I was hanging the curtains and fell on the fruit bowl!"

[Vipers]

Jonboy_t said:

Genuine musing from a colleague of mine today:

"I heard on the radio that Kate Bush got some kind of award off the Queen today. Does that make her Lady Bush?"

I hope it does. I really hope it does.

Almost droppd a clanger when the OH said "Do you want to trim Leslies's bush" (Our neighbour), but isnt a thought wonderful. )

[Vipers]

Marty63 said:

On the subject of thatcher,

apparently they are going to close the entire length of the M1 next week for a street party.

They should use the M25, you could go around again

[Robin Hood]

Vipers said:

Almost droppd a clanger when the OH said "Do you want to trim Leslies's bush" (Our neighbour), but isnt a thought wonderful. )

It would be except Leslie is normally a male and Lesley a female

[blindswelledrat]

Cotty said:

LordGrover said:

Sorry cotty... whoosh!

I don't get the whoosh

I think the post was supposed to be a joke of some kind. Unrecognisable as one, admittedly, but he's trying really hard.

[LordGrover]

Cotty said:

s p a c e m a n said:

Can't believe Cher is trending on Twitter because people are hash tagging #nowthatthatchersdead and thinking that's #NowThatChersDead

Do you mind not cross posting from twitter. I don't know why you have a hashtag in that sentance and I don't particually want to know.

Cotty said:

LordGrover said:

Sorry cotty... whoosh!

I don't get the whoosh

You said you didn't want to know.

[Vipers]

Robin Hood said:

It would be except Leslie is normally a male and Lesley a female

Good spotting, can always rely on you, tks, btw should be Lesley of course.

[LordHaveMurci]

[Captain Muppet]

From one of my posts in the recently deleted God thread: two out of three people approve of adultory.

[Einion Yrth]

Captain Muppet said:

From one of my posts in the recently deleted God thread: two out of three people approve of adultory.

Shame that, fabulous strop at the end, teddy leaving the cot so fast it was red-shifted.

[Agoogy]

Captain Muppet said:

From one of my posts in the recently deleted God thread: two out of three people approve of adultory.

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape
6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy...

alledgedly