Misfits, Dad's Army Types et al...
Discussion
Shakermaker said:
Perhaps we need to establish a handy guide to how Walt-y any of us are:
Check all that apply to you. Do not enter if you are a member of any of the Armed forces or emergency services.
You own, or have done, or want to do any of the following:
1. A pocket size multi tool
2. Multiple pocket size multi tools
3. A holster for your multi tool/s - all three left over from my time in the army
5. Army surplus camouflage trousers
6. Army surplus camouflage jacket - again, leftovers. As in "my entire 1157 less Mk6 helmet and body armour" because Tony in the store couldn't be bothered to take it all back. It's in my loft, probably going mouldy.
7. A mobile phone holster - yes, but not for my current phone. It came with an old Nokia that's hiding in a cupboard for taking to the Antiques Roadshow in 50 years or so.
8. A Clipboard
9. A clipboard with a pen that you have attached using parachute cord - balls! Sadly I've got one of these in the garage for working out and checking dimensions and such before cutting materials. But it's a chippy's pencil, not a pen.
10. Parachute cord - yup.
13. Fitted an amber light bar to your Land Rover - nope, but I've got a magnetic rotating amber beacon that's had the plug swapped to run off a 12v dc car type supply.
22. Used the NATO phonetic alphabet in every day conversation - on the telephone, yes, to spell my name or to increase accuracy/reduce chance of confusion
24. Worn high visibility jacket that you bought/didn't give back to an employer - vest/waistcoat only. I don't own a 'proper' hi-vis coat or jacket
29. Remained sober at Christmas/New Year voluntarily in case someone you didn't know needed to get somewhere that wasn't with your family. - only when my wife is 'on call' at the hospital, on account of how she doesn't drive. This probably doesn't count.
13/30 - It would appear that I'm only a Land Rover away from full-on Walt status!Check all that apply to you. Do not enter if you are a member of any of the Armed forces or emergency services.
You own, or have done, or want to do any of the following:
1. A pocket size multi tool
2. Multiple pocket size multi tools
3. A holster for your multi tool/s - all three left over from my time in the army
5. Army surplus camouflage trousers
6. Army surplus camouflage jacket - again, leftovers. As in "my entire 1157 less Mk6 helmet and body armour" because Tony in the store couldn't be bothered to take it all back. It's in my loft, probably going mouldy.
7. A mobile phone holster - yes, but not for my current phone. It came with an old Nokia that's hiding in a cupboard for taking to the Antiques Roadshow in 50 years or so.
8. A Clipboard
9. A clipboard with a pen that you have attached using parachute cord - balls! Sadly I've got one of these in the garage for working out and checking dimensions and such before cutting materials. But it's a chippy's pencil, not a pen.
10. Parachute cord - yup.
13. Fitted an amber light bar to your Land Rover - nope, but I've got a magnetic rotating amber beacon that's had the plug swapped to run off a 12v dc car type supply.
22. Used the NATO phonetic alphabet in every day conversation - on the telephone, yes, to spell my name or to increase accuracy/reduce chance of confusion
24. Worn high visibility jacket that you bought/didn't give back to an employer - vest/waistcoat only. I don't own a 'proper' hi-vis coat or jacket
29. Remained sober at Christmas/New Year voluntarily in case someone you didn't know needed to get somewhere that wasn't with your family. - only when my wife is 'on call' at the hospital, on account of how she doesn't drive. This probably doesn't count.
ChemicalChaos said:
jdw100 said:
You give them orders without any actual authority to do so; "this is an official road closure for st George's day"
I think you'll find that under a relevant section of the Road Traffic act, I had exactly that authority. I can't remember the exact section, but if you really want to argue about it then I'll find out again.
An entitled Porsche driver who also took your viewpoint before driving around me later received a visit from the Traffic Police
If you are acting under a relevant section of the RTA, you really need to know what that section is, or you weren't paying sufficient attention in
OB. (Highways engineer with TM tickets, motorway passes, LA permits to close roads etc coming out of my arse. Trust me, it's nothing to be walty about. All you get is moaned at and FOI requests about the necessity of the closure. And the guys that actually close the road are held in a similar regard to scaffolders. Closing a road is no glory job.)
_dobbo_ said:
I don't understand this - you had the authority to tell someone something? Doesn't anyone automatically have that?
Like if I'd stood there, with no special authority granted to me by the road traffic act, I could have said. "Sorry mate, that road's closed".
But the "authority" ends there - somebody ignores it and they get a visit from the police, not from you. And presumably you had no authority to stop someone going through either, otherwise they couldn't have got through?
Quite.Like if I'd stood there, with no special authority granted to me by the road traffic act, I could have said. "Sorry mate, that road's closed".
But the "authority" ends there - somebody ignores it and they get a visit from the police, not from you. And presumably you had no authority to stop someone going through either, otherwise they couldn't have got through?
Shakermaker said:
Perhaps we need to establish a handy guide to how Walt-y any of us are:
Check all that apply to you. Do not enter if you are a member of any of the Armed forces or emergency services.
You own, or have done, or want to do any of the following:
1. A pocket size multi tool
8. A Clipboard
22. Used the NATO phonetic alphabet in every day conversation
10% Walt. Not bad at all I think Check all that apply to you. Do not enter if you are a member of any of the Armed forces or emergency services.
You own, or have done, or want to do any of the following:
1. A pocket size multi tool
8. A Clipboard
22. Used the NATO phonetic alphabet in every day conversation
Corpulent Tosser said:
Shakermaker said:
Perhaps we need to establish a handy guide to how Walt-y any of us are:
Check all that apply to you. Do not enter if you are a member of any of the Armed forces or emergency services.
You own, or have done, or want to do any of the following:
1. A pocket size multi tool
8. A Clipboard
22. Used the NATO phonetic alphabet in every day conversation
10% Walt. Not bad at all I think Check all that apply to you. Do not enter if you are a member of any of the Armed forces or emergency services.
You own, or have done, or want to do any of the following:
1. A pocket size multi tool
8. A Clipboard
22. Used the NATO phonetic alphabet in every day conversation
ChemicalChaos said:
I think you'll find that under a relevant section of the Road Traffic act, I had exactly that authority.
I can't remember the exact section, but if you really want to argue about it then I'll find out again.
An entitled Porsche driver who also took your viewpoint before driving around me later received a visit from the Traffic Police
CC! You're alive!I can't remember the exact section, but if you really want to argue about it then I'll find out again.
An entitled Porsche driver who also took your viewpoint before driving around me later received a visit from the Traffic Police
We feared that the deploy to the MAJOR event and subsequent tactical take down had been your last assignment.
Good to hear from you buddy.
I think you'll find under the relevant section of the PH act of 2012 subsection D paragraph 9 I am in fact an authorised person vis a ve the slight extraction of the urine in this circumstance.
But I would not want to argue with someone that clearly knows the fine points of the Road Traffic Act in such depth. No good can surely ever come from that.
Equally I would not want to recieve a visit from your Police colleagues, whom I'm sure you can despatch with a few code words on the comms.
Anyway, just glad you are back in one piece. Any tales of derring do from the EVENT?
Jellyfish Diplodocus Weasel 100 - out.
Shakermaker said:
Perhaps we need to establish a handy guide to how Walt-y any of us are:
Check all that apply to you. Do not enter if you are a member of any of the Armed forces or emergency services.
You own, or have done, or want to do any of the following:
1. A pocket size multi tool
2. Multiple pocket size multi tools
3. A holster for your multi tool/s
4. A Land Rover Defender, or a Discovery series 1 or 2
5. Army surplus camouflage trousers
6. Army surplus camouflage jacket
7. A mobile phone holster
8. A Clipboard
9. A clipboard with a pen that you have attached using parachute cord
10. Parachute cord
11. A special chain to hold all your keys in your back pocket
12. Fitted a winch, snorkel and mud tyres and a lift kit to your Land Rover
13. Fitted an amber light bar to your Land Rover
14. Emblazoned your Land Rover with battenburg or other high visibility stickers
15. Volunteered on the local sports club/village hall/church hall/school fete society
16. Attened the meetings for any of the above, and raised questions on minor issues on at least 2 points on the agenda, relating to something like spelling, or insisted that someone saying that "having the raffle at about half past three isn't specific enough and that it must be decided now, six months in advance,that the raffle will happen at precisely fifteen-forty-five"
17. Laboured any of the above points at a follow up meeting
18. Complained at one of the meetings that you didn't get the last agenda because you "don't use email and everyone else should remember that"
19. Volunteered to chair any of the above
20. Got annoyed that your offer to chair any of the above was denied because of 16 and/or 17 (likely both)
21. Volunteered to be in charge of traffic management/car parking at any event
22. Used the NATO phonetic alphabet in every day conversation
23. Corrected anyone for using the wrong phonetic alphabet letters in a condescending manner (Everyone knows it is INDIA not INDIGO you fool!)
24. Worn high visibility jacket that you bought/didn't give back to an employer
25. Worn High visibility over-trousers
26. Wanted to correct me for saying "camouflage" instead of "dispersion pattern material"
27. Wanted to advise anyone else seen wearing a "generic" pair that they are wearing a pattern which doesn't actually exist in any of the NATO armed forces and is just a horrible mish-mash of brown and green that clearly shows everyone you aren't really in the forces at all.
28. You have worn a high visibility jacket and camouflage trousers at the same time whilst marshalling traffic at the school fete
29. Remained sober at Christmas/New Year voluntarily in case someone you didn't know needed to get somewhere that wasn't with your family.
30. Used the word "deployed" when referring to visiting a different site with work.
There's probably more.
Very comprehensive!Check all that apply to you. Do not enter if you are a member of any of the Armed forces or emergency services.
You own, or have done, or want to do any of the following:
1. A pocket size multi tool
2. Multiple pocket size multi tools
3. A holster for your multi tool/s
4. A Land Rover Defender, or a Discovery series 1 or 2
5. Army surplus camouflage trousers
6. Army surplus camouflage jacket
7. A mobile phone holster
8. A Clipboard
9. A clipboard with a pen that you have attached using parachute cord
10. Parachute cord
11. A special chain to hold all your keys in your back pocket
12. Fitted a winch, snorkel and mud tyres and a lift kit to your Land Rover
13. Fitted an amber light bar to your Land Rover
14. Emblazoned your Land Rover with battenburg or other high visibility stickers
15. Volunteered on the local sports club/village hall/church hall/school fete society
16. Attened the meetings for any of the above, and raised questions on minor issues on at least 2 points on the agenda, relating to something like spelling, or insisted that someone saying that "having the raffle at about half past three isn't specific enough and that it must be decided now, six months in advance,that the raffle will happen at precisely fifteen-forty-five"
17. Laboured any of the above points at a follow up meeting
18. Complained at one of the meetings that you didn't get the last agenda because you "don't use email and everyone else should remember that"
19. Volunteered to chair any of the above
20. Got annoyed that your offer to chair any of the above was denied because of 16 and/or 17 (likely both)
21. Volunteered to be in charge of traffic management/car parking at any event
22. Used the NATO phonetic alphabet in every day conversation
23. Corrected anyone for using the wrong phonetic alphabet letters in a condescending manner (Everyone knows it is INDIA not INDIGO you fool!)
24. Worn high visibility jacket that you bought/didn't give back to an employer
25. Worn High visibility over-trousers
26. Wanted to correct me for saying "camouflage" instead of "dispersion pattern material"
27. Wanted to advise anyone else seen wearing a "generic" pair that they are wearing a pattern which doesn't actually exist in any of the NATO armed forces and is just a horrible mish-mash of brown and green that clearly shows everyone you aren't really in the forces at all.
28. You have worn a high visibility jacket and camouflage trousers at the same time whilst marshalling traffic at the school fete
29. Remained sober at Christmas/New Year voluntarily in case someone you didn't know needed to get somewhere that wasn't with your family.
30. Used the word "deployed" when referring to visiting a different site with work.
There's probably more.
No.29 was a cheeky one. I'm sure I can have you arrested under the Road Traffic Act for that.
I scored a very poor 1 point. Kind of feel I've let the team down, but more importantly I've let myself down...
jdw100 said:
Very comprehensive!
No.29 was a cheeky one. I'm sure I can have you arrested under the Road Traffic Act for that.
I scored a very poor 1 point. Kind of feel I've let the team down, but more importantly I've let myself down...
I scored 5 points on the scale I created. Likely because of my earlier admission of almost becoming a major Walt a number of years ago. Takes one to know one and all that. Overpass Uranium TeabagNo.29 was a cheeky one. I'm sure I can have you arrested under the Road Traffic Act for that.
I scored a very poor 1 point. Kind of feel I've let the team down, but more importantly I've let myself down...
I do or have done things that require or are made easier by some of these things so I'll play.
Shakermaker said:
Perhaps we need to establish a handy guide to how Walt-y any of us are:
Check all that apply to you. Do not enter if you are a member of any of the Armed forces or emergency services.
You own, or have done, or want to do any of the following:
1. A pocket size multi tool - yep, useful thing to have when hunting rabbits with an air rifle, also the pliers are useful if you get a thorn in a bike tyre.
3. A holster for your multi tool/s - it came with one
5. Army surplus camouflage trousers - yep used to wear them to go hunting in
15. Volunteered on the local sports club/village hall/church hall/school fete society - our local car club had a charity car show (raised over £2000 for Help for Heroes)
21. Volunteered to be in charge of traffic management/car parking at any event - we took it in turns at the above (show cars and those parking up in a field to come and look around)
22. Used the NATO phonetic alphabet in every day conversation - I'm a pilot (PPL), I use it all the time sometimes it slips in.
24. Worn high visibility jacket that you bought/didn't give back to an employer - one person in the 'party' is forced to by CAA/Airport regulation when walking out to the aircraft, the pilot normally wears it.
There's probably more.
23% Walt, though do any of them count if the purposes were for genuine reasons which mine are?Check all that apply to you. Do not enter if you are a member of any of the Armed forces or emergency services.
You own, or have done, or want to do any of the following:
1. A pocket size multi tool - yep, useful thing to have when hunting rabbits with an air rifle, also the pliers are useful if you get a thorn in a bike tyre.
3. A holster for your multi tool/s - it came with one
5. Army surplus camouflage trousers - yep used to wear them to go hunting in
15. Volunteered on the local sports club/village hall/church hall/school fete society - our local car club had a charity car show (raised over £2000 for Help for Heroes)
21. Volunteered to be in charge of traffic management/car parking at any event - we took it in turns at the above (show cars and those parking up in a field to come and look around)
22. Used the NATO phonetic alphabet in every day conversation - I'm a pilot (PPL), I use it all the time sometimes it slips in.
24. Worn high visibility jacket that you bought/didn't give back to an employer - one person in the 'party' is forced to by CAA/Airport regulation when walking out to the aircraft, the pilot normally wears it.
There's probably more.
PanzerCommander said:
23% Walt, though do any of them count if the purposes were for genuine reasons which mine are?
genuine purposes that you were actually deployed as part of HM forces or the emergency services? Or that you genuinely did serve as Under-secretary-in-waiting for refreshments and traffic management at St Icklebrick's Christmas Fete?V8FGO said:
Jesus! That is pure internet gold! 
Right - I've got to the end, and it was surely an excellent but of trolling - they went too far eventually.
Edited by Dog Star on Friday 12th August 15:13
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