You find a suitcase with £1 million in it. What would you do
Discussion
Chas88 said:
I'd hand the suitcase with the £10,000 that I'd found to the police.
Who are all completely bent. They give your details to the owner of the case, who is, of course, some some kind of gangster(who else carries that kind of cash?).Et voila, you are now an integral part of HS2 bridge support network.
Galileo said:
Chas88 said:
I'd hand the suitcase with the £10,000 that I'd found to the police.
Who are all completely bent. They give your details to the owner of the case, who is, of course, some some kind of gangster(who else carries that kind of cash?).Et voila, you are now an integral part of HS2 bridge support network.
There was a similar case of a plumber in Northern Ireland who "found 180k EURO" under buried near the house of an dead IRA bloke. This got reported in the local rag and he was revered as a stand up honest guy for handing it in.
The family of the IRA bloke were most interested to know where the rest of the missing 500k EURO which theie Dad told them he'd buried before he died was.
The plumber was killed in an accident shortly afterwards.
Cash out of the case and checked for GPS trackers etc.
Waterproofed and buried in the woods for a couple of months to see if any big stories hit the papers.
After that it's a chuck the kids in the car go driving holiday down to France, quick trip over the border to Switzerland - I know a trail over the mountains if I feel like being all Bond-esq - not that the French Swiss Border is exactly a impassable fortress, certainly nothing like Dover.
The old thriller film fave - the Swiss bank account - it's safe, secure and they wont tell the Police or the Tax Man it's there, there are probably better solutions, but none as conveniently located - I think most have branches in London - but where's the fun in that and they might not be as well covered by the usual Swiss rules.
In regards to what to do after that, it really depends on how far you want to go to avoid detection or taxation. You could use your Swiss debit card or just take cash without raising any suspicious and let your ill gotten money nest egg pay for day-to-day life expenses, even buy pretty decent cars without raising an eyebrow.
In terms of practicalities £1m last time I saw it in cash was about 1m x 1m x 20cm in £20 notes
Waterproofed and buried in the woods for a couple of months to see if any big stories hit the papers.
After that it's a chuck the kids in the car go driving holiday down to France, quick trip over the border to Switzerland - I know a trail over the mountains if I feel like being all Bond-esq - not that the French Swiss Border is exactly a impassable fortress, certainly nothing like Dover.
The old thriller film fave - the Swiss bank account - it's safe, secure and they wont tell the Police or the Tax Man it's there, there are probably better solutions, but none as conveniently located - I think most have branches in London - but where's the fun in that and they might not be as well covered by the usual Swiss rules.
In regards to what to do after that, it really depends on how far you want to go to avoid detection or taxation. You could use your Swiss debit card or just take cash without raising any suspicious and let your ill gotten money nest egg pay for day-to-day life expenses, even buy pretty decent cars without raising an eyebrow.
In terms of practicalities £1m last time I saw it in cash was about 1m x 1m x 20cm in £20 notes
Edited by P-Jay on Friday 1st November 10:20
RSoovy4 said:
This.
There was a similar case of a plumber in Northern Ireland who "found 180k EURO" under buried near the house of an dead IRA bloke. This got reported in the local rag and he was revered as a stand up honest guy for handing it in.
The family of the IRA bloke were most interested to know where the rest of the missing 500k EURO which theie Dad told them he'd buried before he died was.
The plumber was killed in an accident shortly afterwards.
Do you have a link to the story?There was a similar case of a plumber in Northern Ireland who "found 180k EURO" under buried near the house of an dead IRA bloke. This got reported in the local rag and he was revered as a stand up honest guy for handing it in.
The family of the IRA bloke were most interested to know where the rest of the missing 500k EURO which theie Dad told them he'd buried before he died was.
The plumber was killed in an accident shortly afterwards.
robinessex said:
Ok, fun question! You find a suitcase with a million quid in it. No possible way anyone could know you've got it. What would you do? And before you ask, no I bloody well haven't found one!
I'd ask exactly that question on PH and hope for some good laundering ideas while maintaining deniability.First, remove £50k from the suitcase. Give £50k to good friend, have him call the police and report that he's mislaid a suitcase containing £950k in cash, cannot think how it must have happened, perhaps it fell from the badly-secured luggage compartment of a light aircraft. Wait a day, hand suitcase into police containing £950k. Assuming police are not bent, taken into room and congratulated for being honest, given a nice cup of tea, shake hands with the original owner of the case, leave police station, get suitcase back from mate, divide proceeds fairly, all live happily ever after.
Of course, this relies on having a good mate that you can trust, and you'd probably want to think about how it gets shared out. And he'd need a pretty good back story as to why he's got the cash in the first place, but on the other hand that would probably get more interest from the police, so you're in the clear if he gets fingered for it. And you'd probably want to do this away from your locality, so it's not so obvious that you're good mates.
Of course, this relies on having a good mate that you can trust, and you'd probably want to think about how it gets shared out. And he'd need a pretty good back story as to why he's got the cash in the first place, but on the other hand that would probably get more interest from the police, so you're in the clear if he gets fingered for it. And you'd probably want to do this away from your locality, so it's not so obvious that you're good mates.
Asked my 22 year old this puzzle last night, for any ideas..
His answer was to hire a huge night club,advertise and charge 50=75 quid a ticket,party goers who emails their name goes on the guest register, free entrance,
2000 guests,who went on the guest register, but was never showed or counted paid 50 - 75 quid, out of your suitcase,100k - 150k per event.
6 - 10 events your laundered..
Apparently why mobs always have liked nightclubs, casinos..
His answer was to hire a huge night club,advertise and charge 50=75 quid a ticket,party goers who emails their name goes on the guest register, free entrance,
2000 guests,who went on the guest register, but was never showed or counted paid 50 - 75 quid, out of your suitcase,100k - 150k per event.
6 - 10 events your laundered..
Apparently why mobs always have liked nightclubs, casinos..
The system is too good here to get away with it. Most of us are not career criminals nor do we have the first idea about money laundering, and those that do always eventually get caught anyway.
I would probably set up a bogus company through Companies House, declare mega profits, pay some corporation tax and get an accountant to fiddle the rest and 'sell' this mystery company some time down the line. That way at least it looks legitimate.
If you're not paying taxes, they'll eventually catch up to you.
Taking that much abroad is impossible unless you have some bent contacts.
I would probably set up a bogus company through Companies House, declare mega profits, pay some corporation tax and get an accountant to fiddle the rest and 'sell' this mystery company some time down the line. That way at least it looks legitimate.
If you're not paying taxes, they'll eventually catch up to you.
Taking that much abroad is impossible unless you have some bent contacts.
zoom star said:
Asked my 22 year old this puzzle last night, for any ideas..
His answer was to hire a huge night club,advertise and charge 50=75 quid a ticket,party goers who emails their name goes on the guest register, free entrance,
2000 guests,who went on the guest register, but was never showed or counted paid 50 - 75 quid, out of your suitcase,100k - 150k per event.
6 - 10 events your laundered..
Apparently why mobs always have liked nightclubs, casinos..
and if one of those 2000 worked for local government or the tax office and got wind that noone else had paid, you'd have the SFO over you like a rashHis answer was to hire a huge night club,advertise and charge 50=75 quid a ticket,party goers who emails their name goes on the guest register, free entrance,
2000 guests,who went on the guest register, but was never showed or counted paid 50 - 75 quid, out of your suitcase,100k - 150k per event.
6 - 10 events your laundered..
Apparently why mobs always have liked nightclubs, casinos..
Schermerhorn said:
A common lawyer said:
23rdian said:
Wouldn't have thought you would need to launder that much?
Erm, take it?
You're going to spend £250 a day, every day, for ten years? That's some serious stamina! If you're paying for bigger stuff in cash (travel, cars, houses) that starts to get suspicious!Erm, take it?
However I'd set up foreign bank accounts, wire it a few thousand at a time via dodgy African shops in south London to those, then travel around the world spending it for a while.
PoleDriver said:
Pay £2k/month into 3 separate bank accounts.
Take out some ISA's and pay cash into them monthly.
Use cash to pay for everything.
When enough saved up in banks use that to buy land.
Have house built and pay the builders in cash (I'm sure they wouldn't complain).
Decorate/furnish the house paying in cash!
I'm not sure this would work. A friend has been doing this for approx. 3 years thinking he's clever not paying tax. Just paying his money from cash in hand trade work into a few different bank accounts.Take out some ISA's and pay cash into them monthly.
Use cash to pay for everything.
When enough saved up in banks use that to buy land.
Have house built and pay the builders in cash (I'm sure they wouldn't complain).
Decorate/furnish the house paying in cash!
HMRC and the taxman are all over him since last week! He now needs to provide copies of his bank statements for the last few years! They want to know where it's all come from! He's absolutely screwed!
I was surprised they'd picked up on it being a relatively small amount?
nick s said:
PoleDriver said:
Pay £2k/month into 3 separate bank accounts.
Take out some ISA's and pay cash into them monthly.
Use cash to pay for everything.
When enough saved up in banks use that to buy land.
Have house built and pay the builders in cash (I'm sure they wouldn't complain).
Decorate/furnish the house paying in cash!
I'm not sure this would work. A friend has been doing this for approx. 3 years thinking he's clever not paying tax. Just paying his money from cash in hand trade work into a few different bank accounts.Take out some ISA's and pay cash into them monthly.
Use cash to pay for everything.
When enough saved up in banks use that to buy land.
Have house built and pay the builders in cash (I'm sure they wouldn't complain).
Decorate/furnish the house paying in cash!
HMRC and the taxman are all over him since last week! He now needs to provide copies of his bank statements for the last few years! They want to know where it's all come from! He's absolutely screwed!
I was surprised they'd picked up on it being a relatively small amount?
Either way, no sympathy. I have to pay my taxes, why should he not!
He's going to get bullyrammed by the way. To death. He might even end up being prosecuted.
nick s said:
I'm not sure this would work. A friend has been doing this for approx. 3 years thinking he's clever not paying tax. Just paying his money from cash in hand trade work into a few different bank accounts.
HMRC and the taxman are all over him since last week! He now needs to provide copies of his bank statements for the last few years! They want to know where it's all come from! He's absolutely screwed!
I was surprised they'd picked up on it being a relatively small amount?
Someone grassed.HMRC and the taxman are all over him since last week! He now needs to provide copies of his bank statements for the last few years! They want to know where it's all come from! He's absolutely screwed!
I was surprised they'd picked up on it being a relatively small amount?
if you had a chunk of legitimate money, it would be easier, i'd use some legitimate money to set up a nice looking gentlemen's club/casino and would get a fair few people paying for mega bubbles/significant losses on the tables, at the end of it all, you would end up with...................
Actually scrap that, that would put you in pretty much direct contact with the people who's money it actually was... Bad idea
Actually scrap that, that would put you in pretty much direct contact with the people who's money it actually was... Bad idea
Council Baby said:
nick s said:
I'm not sure this would work. A friend has been doing this for approx. 3 years thinking he's clever not paying tax. Just paying his money from cash in hand trade work into a few different bank accounts.
HMRC and the taxman are all over him since last week! He now needs to provide copies of his bank statements for the last few years! They want to know where it's all come from! He's absolutely screwed!
I was surprised they'd picked up on it being a relatively small amount?
Someone grassed.HMRC and the taxman are all over him since last week! He now needs to provide copies of his bank statements for the last few years! They want to know where it's all come from! He's absolutely screwed!
I was surprised they'd picked up on it being a relatively small amount?
Well he's about to get all the shafting he can handle.
Pay it into the bank and when asked about it, say it was given to me by a member of my family who had a big lottery win and was sharing it out to family members, because they didn't want any publicity the lottery people sorted it out for them to hand it out in cash so it couldn't be traced back to them.
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