Why don't people want to say what they do for a living?

[Pesty]

Zoobeef said:

I don't get much choice. My friends all introduce me to other people by saying "This is Mark, he's a ......" fking cheers.

This is mark he never drives his noble or vx anywhere ( assuming they are in donny)

cashmax said:

Wow, totally stunned by some of the comments in this thread.


To those that say it is a boring subject and they avoid it for those reasons - So you could be chatting with a group of your potential idols, in short someone who's job it is to do the thing you have always dreamed of doing, yet you might never know that. You might well have chosen a path that means you spend they vast majority of your waking life doing something you find boring and not worth talking about, don't assume the same for everyone else. There were some comments about people being "defined" by their jobs. I would argue that's a matter of choice and often it's completely the other way round, you can tell alot about a person by the enthusiasm they have for their path through life. In short, if you don't talk about it, I guess you'll never know.

I'm 43. In all those years of other meeting people I've never met anybody I would consider an idol or remember meeting anybody with an interesting job. I'm sure we move in different circles though.

Plus I don't really have any idols or role models I don't even understand the concept. Might be interesting to meet an astronaught or something but I could live without it.

The chances of having an interesting convo about somebodies job around my neck of the woods is pretty much zero.

Edited by Pesty on Sunday 26th July 12:42

[cashmax]

Pesty said:

Zoobeef said:

I don't get much choice. My friends all introduce me to other people by saying "This is Mark, he's a ......" fking cheers.

This is mark he never drives his noble or vx anywhere ( assuming they are in donny)

cashmax said:

Wow, totally stunned by some of the comments in this thread.


To those that say it is a boring subject and they avoid it for those reasons - So you could be chatting with a group of your potential idols, in short someone who's job it is to do the thing you have always dreamed of doing, yet you might never know that. You might well have chosen a path that means you spend they vast majority of your waking life doing something you find boring and not worth talking about, don't assume the same for everyone else. There were some comments about people being "defined" by their jobs. I would argue that's a matter of choice and often it's completely the other way round, you can tell alot about a person by the enthusiasm they have for their path through life. In short, if you don't talk about it, I guess you'll never know.

I'm 43. In all those years of other meeting people I've never met anybody I would consider an idol or remember meeting anybody with an interesting job. I'm sure we move in different circles though.

Plus I don't really have any idols or role models I don't even understand the concept. Might be interesting to meet an astronaught or something but I could live without it.

The chances of having an interesting convo about somebodies job around my neck of the woods is pretty much zero.

Edited by Pesty on Sunday 26th July 12:42

Thats pretty sad to hear. You either need to get out more or consider modifying your line of questioning. I think the issue is that some people assume that everyone is has a job they consider bring. The reality is that many people's job/the way they earn a living is also the thing they find most interesting and enjoy doing. By removing yourself from the conversation, you are neutering your chances of finding this out.

[Pesty]

cashmax said:

Thats pretty sad to hear. You either need to get out more or consider modifying your line of questioning. I think the issue is that some people assume that everyone is has a job they consider bring. The reality is that many people's job/the way they earn a living is also the thing they find most interesting and enjoy doing. By removing yourself from the conversation, you are neutering your chances of finding this out.

I need do none of those things.

Your 'reality' is very different to that of most people I feel. You obviously move in different circles because I don't know anybody who doesn't work just to pay the mortgage.
I'm sure there are people out there who like their jobs, I 'like' mine but I'd retire tomorrow if I could. Now if I was a racing driver then it might be different but I'm not and the vast majority of people aren't either they work in boring repetetive jobs to pay bills.

That statement above is so far from any reality I know. I'm not sure all those slaughter house workers and sandwich packers and carrot packers in minimum wage jobs do it because they find it interesting or enjoy doing it. I have no idea how you think otherwise. I recognise you said many, and I guess many do but I don't know any and I'm unlikely to meet any.

You think it's sad that I don't enjoy hearing about other people's work and you say I should change hmmm says something to me although I could be wrong. I assume you have an interesting job and enjoy it, I imagine for your garage it's also well paid. You could probably talk all day about your job people working on a the check out at tesco 10 hours a day not so much.

Edited by Pesty on Sunday 26th July 13:36

[Axionknight]

I'm an electrician by trade and I don't really like telling people.... "No, I won't put your outside lights up because":

A) I can't be arsed
B) I don't really have the tools to do it these days as I'm not really "that sort" of sparky anymore
C) They all want it doing for peanuts, especially friends and family
D) I really can't be arsed

Edited by Axionknight on Sunday 26th July 13:37

[zarjaz1991]

M

Axionknight said:

I'm an electrician by trade and I don't really like telling people, no, I won't put your outside lights up because:

A) I can't be arsed
B) I don't really have the tools to do it as I'm not really "that sort" of sparky anymore
C) They all want it doing for peanuts, especially friends and family
D) I really can't be arsed

Similar to the IT problem.

People really do seem to think that fixing their utterly bksed virus ridden computer is going to be a ten minute job, even when you explain that it isn't and would take many hours if not days, you unbelievably get "oh you could fit that in during the evening, We're usually here after 6pm". I mean, wtf is it with people that makes them think you want to spend your limited free time doing free work for them? Sheesh.

Even though "fixing computers" isn't what I do, I certainly don't want to spend all my spare time doing it for people I don't even know, for free. Unreal.

[OldSkoolRS]

Countdown said:

Thankyou4calling said:

Unfortunately I'm 6ft 5! ;)

I think everybody on PH is 6ft 5"

Nope, same numbers though just a different order.

I can describe my job in generic terms (Service Manager) but it gets more complicated if I try to explain the product. I can't really mention it on forums either because it's fairly niche and we're part of a big corporation who have quite strict rules about 'representing the company publicly' without permission, so it's easier to keep quiet.

Edited by OldSkoolRS on Sunday 26th July 14:07

[9mm]

cashmax said:

turbobloke said:

cashmax said:

In summary, you spend most of your waking life doing this every single day.

Nowhere near.

Once again somebody is assuming one 'job'. Why would you do that?

It's so 1950s

I don't think anyone is assuming anything. When someone says "What do you do for a living?" they are not looking for a CV. You don't need to take it literally. Perhaps as a guide for the Mr Logic types, they generally mean something like -

How do you earn money?
What do you do while I am working?
What do you think about worklife?
Tell me something / anything interesting about you?
Tell me what your dream job would be?

They are aiming to have a discussion, the contents of which, they are giving you the opportunity to define.

All of which are questions/areas that are far more appropriate when you've decided whether this is someone you want to spend time with. Until then, anyone with an ounce of social skills will stick to safe, non-intrusive subjects.

[Blown2CV]

I find it hard to explain what I do to people outside the tech industry. When I try, people which they hadn't asked, and I wish I had just said something overly general.

[Countdown]

To be fair I doubt most people want to know the legally correct definition. I'm Head of Finance. It covers a range of different financial functions (management accounts, payroll, payments, debtors, investments) but nobdoy needs to know all that, so i just say "Accountant".

I doubt there are many jobs which couldn't be summarized in one-word answers. My gut feeling is that, for some people. it doesn't fit in with their "PH Multi-Director" avatar, hence the reluctance and the "mystique".

[PorkInsider]

cashmax said:

Thats pretty sad to hear. You either need to get out more or consider modifying your line of questioning. I think the issue is that some people assume that everyone is has a job they consider bring. The reality is that many people's job/the way they earn a living is also the thing they find most interesting and enjoy doing. By removing yourself from the conversation, you are neutering your chances of finding this out.

I think you're missing the point.

I have what I think is a really interesting job: I get to travel the world. I work with companies in fields from manufacturing baby food to rocket motors and everything between. It's well paid, my colleagues are great and the company is easygoing and generous. What's not to like?

But... I don't assume anyone anyone else should be interested in what I do and I don't really care what other people do to be quite honest.

Friends and family know what I do, similarly I know what they do. I cannot imagine any social situation where in meeting someone new I would be at all inclined to be so intrusive as to enquire as to their work. Nor would I be to divulge much about my own career other than perhaps, " I work in consulting".

There's too much more in the world to be interested in to spend time caring about what people do for a living.

And as for neutering the chances of finding out what someone else does for a living, you would have to actually care for that to matter.

[Blown2CV]

when people ask what you do for a living, they are not asking what your job title is. Firstly most people wouldn't understand it, and secondly saying it makes you sound a tool. They're asking for a neat little summary which they will understand, and that doesn't make you sound like a prick.

[PorkInsider]

Blown2CV said:

when people ask what you do for a living, they are not asking what your job title is. Firstly most people wouldn't understand it, and secondly saying it makes you sound a tool. They're asking for a neat little summary which they will understand, and that doesn't make you sound like a prick.

Is that post for my benefit?

[Blown2CV]

PorkInsider said:

Blown2CV said:

when people ask what you do for a living, they are not asking what your job title is. Firstly most people wouldn't understand it, and secondly saying it makes you sound a tool. They're asking for a neat little summary which they will understand, and that doesn't make you sound like a prick.

Is that post for my benefit?

nah i didn't read what you wrote. It's on response to the thread. Why do you think it would apply to you?

[anonymous-user]

cashmax said:

Wow, totally stunned by some of the comments in this thread.

. . ..

In summary, you spend most of your waking life doing this every single day. It's natural to talk about it because most of your life and social experience is gained through it.

Speak for yourself. I like my job but my life/work balance is absolutely nothing like that thankfully.

I'm not surprised you're "stunned." You're making some complete nonsense assumptions about people and their jobs.

[9mm]

Blown2CV said:

when people ask what you do for a living, they are not asking what your job title is. Firstly most people wouldn't understand it, and secondly saying it makes you sound a tool. They're asking for a neat little summary which they will understand, and that doesn't make you sound like a prick.

Really? Why is it then, if you do anything other than a 9-5 job for an employer, as permie or contractor, the response will be disbelief, sarcasm, jealousy or an accusation you're a walt. It isn't a genuine question from a lot of people, it's just them being nosey and not the kind of conversational digression that occurs when you've spent some time with someone and want to spend more.

[Blown2CV]

9mm said:

Blown2CV said:

when people ask what you do for a living, they are not asking what your job title is. Firstly most people wouldn't understand it, and secondly saying it makes you sound a tool. They're asking for a neat little summary which they will understand, and that doesn't make you sound like a prick.

Really? Why is it then, if you do anything other than a 9-5 job for an employer, as permie or contractor, the response will be disbelief, sarcasm, jealousy or an accusation you're a walt. It isn't a genuine question from a lot of people, it's just them being nosey and not the kind of conversational digression that occurs when you've spent some time with someone and want to spend more.

wow i don't think i agree at all! Many people want to know, without inherently being nosy. Some people do ask because they want to know how you afforded that watch, car etc., but in my experience they're definitely the minority. Christ it's not like people are asking how big your cock is or what you've got in the bank.

[turbobloke]

9mm said:

Blown2CV said:

when people ask what you do for a living, they are not asking what your job title is. Firstly most people wouldn't understand it, and secondly saying it makes you sound a tool. They're asking for a neat little summary which they will understand, and that doesn't make you sound like a prick.

Really? Why is it then, if you do anything other than a 9-5 job for an employer, as permie or contractor, the response will be disbelief, sarcasm, jealousy or an accusation you're a walt. It isn't a genuine question from a lot of people it's just them being nosey and not the kind of conversational digression that occurs when you've spent some time with someone and want to spend more.

Agreed.

[PorkInsider]

Blown2CV said:

PorkInsider said:

Blown2CV said:

when people ask what you do for a living, they are not asking what your job title is. Firstly most people wouldn't understand it, and secondly saying it makes you sound a tool. They're asking for a neat little summary which they will understand, and that doesn't make you sound like a prick.

Is that post for my benefit?

nah i didn't read what you wrote. It's on response to the thread. Why do you think it would apply to you?

No reason at all. It just popped p as the next post after mine and I didn't immediately see it in the context of the whole thread.

My mistake.

[Don]

Spare tyre said:

I don't tell neighbours and friends of friends etc that I work in IT, other wise you get an endless list of questions from your neighbours mates brother plumbers cat

This. It's fking endless.

If you say you work in IT they'll come out with: "Can you fix X on my broken computer."

"No.Not that kind of IT"

These days I can say, "do you do Online Banking?". "Yes". "That".

[Zoobeef]

Pesty said:

I'm 43. In all those years of other meeting people I've never met anybody I would consider an idol or remember meeting anybody with an interesting job. I'm sure we move in different circles though.

Plus I don't really have any idols or role models I don't even understand the concept. Might be interesting to meet an astronaught or something but I could live without it.

The chances of having an interesting convo about somebodies job around my neck of the woods is pretty much zero.

Edited by Pesty on Sunday 26th July 12:42

Yep that's usually in there too. "This is Mark, he's a royal marine and he's got a Noble" The new person then looks at me blankly as though wondering if I'd told them to say that to try and impress them.