Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[ApOrbital]

Alpacaman said:

One from my Mum, whilst talking to someone about my Dads funeral, instead of telling them it was a secular service she told them it was going to be sectarian. I had a vision of a group of men in balaclavas with pistols at the service.

[Usget]

Alpacaman said:

One from my Mum, whilst talking to someone about my Dads funeral, instead of telling them it was a secular service she told them it was going to be sectarian. I had a vision of a group of men in balaclavas with pistols at the service.

Sorry about your Dad, but...

[Usget]

"Mexico City? Where's that?".... "Wait... it's in Mexico, right?"

I stare at her without saying anything.

"Well is it? Just tell me!!"

[ApOrbital]

BTW sorry for your loss Alpacaman.

[kowalski655]

Timmy40 said:

This, from my Missus yesterday, in all seriousness.

"Are rabbits vegetarian then?"

When I laughed and said of course they bloody well are.

She got the grump and countered "Well they might not be, they might eat small animals like mice".

WTF? She's in her late 30's with a PHd and we live on a farm.

She may be right you kow

[Johnny]

Likewise, sorry about your dad .

[Alpacaman]

Usget said:

Alpacaman said:

One from my Mum, whilst talking to someone about my Dads funeral, instead of telling them it was a secular service she told them it was going to be sectarian. I had a vision of a group of men in balaclavas with pistols at the service.

Sorry about your Dad, but...

Thanks everyone, to be fair I am sure Dad would have found it hilarious as well. As far as I am aware he didn't have any links to Ireland.

[ApOrbital]

He will be laughing at that.

[Alex@POD]

Usget said:

"Mexico City? Where's that?".... "Wait... it's in Mexico, right?"

I stare at her without saying anything.

"Well is it? Just tell me!!"

Once you got her convinced, as her where Kansas City is.

[Peanut Gallery]

Pothole said:

Cotty said:

Pothole said:

I'm getting married on Friday.

another one bites the dust

Hugely looking forward to it. Eyes wide open.

I bit the dust last Saturday, look forward to it!

My missus did the classic - I don't need to follow the signs to the venue, I know where I am going!

Yes, she was late in getting there.

[karona]

She runs an internet business, with two computers, a laptop for general stuff, and a large screen desktop for photoshoppy stuff. I showed her how to use OneDrive for transferring stuff between them, it's great for getting pictures off her phone too.

This morning she's boohooing because she can't find any of her stuff, gigabytes of files are missing.

She only moved ALL of her business files onto OneDrive, then went to the desktop and got a warning that OneDrive was full. Yep, you guessed it, she emptied OneDrive on the desktop, "Because it's all on the laptop"

(thank feck she doesn't know about 'Mybook' and the NAS, it'll take an hour to "rescue" all her stuff, but I'm earning brownie points and 'favours' while I'm pretending to be a computer wizard )

[Usget]

Alex@POD said:

Usget said:

"Mexico City? Where's that?".... "Wait... it's in Mexico, right?"

I stare at her without saying anything.

"Well is it? Just tell me!!"

Once you got her convinced, as her where Kansas City is.

Had to Google that one. Interesting - a bit like East and West Berlin.

[Pothole]

Peanut Gallery said:

Pothole said:

Cotty said:

Pothole said:

I'm getting married on Friday.

another one bites the dust

Hugely looking forward to it. Eyes wide open.

I bit the dust last Saturday, look forward to it!

My missus did the classic - I don't need to follow the signs to the venue, I know where I am going!

Yes, she was late in getting there.

My FiL took her so there was no problem with timing. I was even on time and sober myself (4pm ceremony, no lunch and close proximity to a pub containing most of my male guests notwithstanding - my stepson dragged me away with time to spare). Fantastic day and such a relief to have nothing to plan, decide on or buy for a while!

[Evangelion]

Seen on a recent post on PH, in a thread on a completely unrelated subject:


My wife said that there was a nice old sports car in the supermarket car park yesterday.

"What was it?" I asked.

"A red one," she replied.

[4Q]

Driving through France a couple of weeks passing an area with loads of wind turbines when she spouts up
"do you think they get lonely?
Me "who?"
"Those people who sit in those turbines driving them"
Me " "
Her " " for the rest of the afternoon

[mattuk89]

Had a few drinks Friday night and got in a bit late, Mrs woke up earlier than me on Saturday morning and then woke me up and said.

" I'm going to turn the bedroom light on, sorry if it wakes you up"

[stuttgartmetal]

Did the sentence..........
"What are you doing today?"
follow any time soon after?

[Bullett]

We had one of those crap music video 'classics' channels on in the background. Tina comes on does her Goldeneye theme and we discuss that it's a good JB theme and was that the movie with the big satellite dish.

She then says, which movie was this the theme for, was it Die another day?

[IanUAE]

Apparently we are going to going to something that will kill 2 stones with 1 bird this week. I wasn't really paying attention to the rest of the conversation...

[davhill]

Many moons ago, the Mrs pointed out how the spoken directions from a satnav would be great for blind drivers (!)