You find a suitcase with £1 million in it. What would you do

You find a suitcase with £1 million in it. What would you do

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Discussion

Rude-boy

22,227 posts

235 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
£1mil in cash in suit case.

Follow these steps.

1. Dispose of suitcase.
2. Get a Travelodge for the night 100+ miles from home.
3. Buy microwave oven.
4. Spend evening putting the notes into the microwave a few stacks at a time for 10-15 seconds (may have to trial and error on this a little. But be sure not to set off smoke alarm by putting on for 60 seconds...) (reason BTW is to destroy and RAID or other tracking tags there may be.)
5. Buy s/h suitcase from charity shop
6. Put £750k into ‘new’ suitcase and hand into Police Station long way from home as found (you may wish to make sure you have the ‘location’ of your find and back story well sorted so may need to have another day away from home to check this all out. May also be an idea to buy a private snotter for cash to do this with so no ANPR traces)
7. Take your £250k and store in a safe place. DO NOT have any of the notes from the case with you or go near them for at least 6 months.
8. When 6 months is up reclaim ‘your’ £750k, put into bank, change ID, move away and enjoy life. Meantime filter the extra £250k in as and when but as swiftly as possible to avoid note design changes and other issues.

Buster73

5,082 posts

155 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
Sit in a casino feeding £20 notes into a slot machine , play the machine the odd time then press the cash out button.

Take the slip to the cage and get paid in cash , anyone asks any questions it's provable that you "won ".

Something that happens everyday in most casinos alledgedly .

nick s

1,371 posts

219 months

Friday 1st November 2013
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RSoovy4 said:
Council Baby said:
nick s said:
I'm not sure this would work. A friend has been doing this for approx. 3 years thinking he's clever not paying tax. Just paying his money from cash in hand trade work into a few different bank accounts.

HMRC and the taxman are all over him since last week! He now needs to provide copies of his bank statements for the last few years! They want to know where it's all come from! He's absolutely screwed!

I was surprised they'd picked up on it being a relatively small amount?
Someone grassed.
I agree. Has he shafted someone?!

Well he's about to get all the shafting he can handle.
Ok, this got me thinking about someone grassing him up, so I asked, and you won't believe what the idiot was doing...

Claiming jobseekers allowance the whole time!! turns out they want to know how he's paying the rent on his flat then if he doesn't have a job. Does this mean someone has still grassed him up? How would they know otherwise?

What sort of s*it is he going to get in for this? I can't see any way out!

ewenm

28,506 posts

247 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
nick s said:
Ok, this got me thinking about someone grassing him up, so I asked, and you won't believe what the idiot was doing...

Claiming jobseekers allowance the whole time!! turns out they want to know how he's paying the rent on his flat then if he doesn't have a job. Does this mean someone has still grassed him up? How would they know otherwise?

What sort of s*it is he going to get in for this? I can't see any way out!
Benefit fraud and tax evasion - pretty serious.

Rude-boy

22,227 posts

235 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
Blue Cat said:
Pay it into the bank and when asked about it, say it was given to me by a member of my family who had a big lottery win and was sharing it out to family members, because they didn't want any publicity the lottery people sorted it out for them to hand it out in cash so it couldn't be traced back to them.
It does not work like that, sorry.

nick s

1,371 posts

219 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
Blue Cat said:
Pay it into the bank and when asked about it, say it was given to me by a member of my family who had a big lottery win and was sharing it out to family members, because they didn't want any publicity the lottery people sorted it out for them to hand it out in cash so it couldn't be traced back to them.
This wouldn't work either. GF's mum just transferred a huge wad of cash into our bank account to buy a house. Our solicitors obviously had to know where the funds came from, so we told them. But this wasn't enough. They had to do complete financial and background checks on her mum to check where she got the money from! It's just not as easy as people think.

Rude-boy

22,227 posts

235 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
nick s said:
What sort of s*it is he going to get in for this? I can't see any way out!
I realise that he is (was?) your mate but honestly - everything he deserves and the book, together with a 5" re-bore of his ring piece if there is any justice in this life.

LeoSayer

7,321 posts

246 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
Switzerland has money laundering and know your client rules so it's unlikely you'll find a safe home for that cash there.

Council Baby

19,741 posts

192 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
Rude-boy said:
nick s said:
What sort of s*it is he going to get in for this? I can't see any way out!
I realise that he is (was?) your mate but honestly - everything he deserves and the book, together with a 5" re-bore of his ring piece if there is any justice in this life.
If he'd have claimed housing benefit as well he'd not only have been better off, he may not have got caught.

System abuser fail biggrin

RSoovy4

35,829 posts

273 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
ewenm said:
nick s said:
Ok, this got me thinking about someone grassing him up, so I asked, and you won't believe what the idiot was doing...

Claiming jobseekers allowance the whole time!! turns out they want to know how he's paying the rent on his flat then if he doesn't have a job. Does this mean someone has still grassed him up? How would they know otherwise?

What sort of s*it is he going to get in for this? I can't see any way out!
Benefit fraud and tax evasion - pretty serious.
Yup. Very serious matter this.

He is in very serious trouble. Sounds like this is a systematic and planned avoidance scheme, coupled with fraudulent benefit claims. Could very eaily be prison on the cards.



Rude-boy

22,227 posts

235 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
LeoSayer said:
Switzerland has money laundering and know your client rules so it's unlikely you'll find a safe home for that cash there.
yes

It's not like 'the good old days' anymore. Life is a lot more complex these days if you were the sort that wated to launder £1m, even if in the real World it isn't that much money.

Rude-boy

22,227 posts

235 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
RSoovy4 said:
Yup. Very serious matter this.

He is in very serious trouble.
At least the poster will get to find out how much his mate's gaff is worth when his case is in the Daily Soovy though hehe

ETA, yes i know it's rented but that will not stop them smile

RSoovy4

35,829 posts

273 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
Rude-boy said:
RSoovy4 said:
Yup. Very serious matter this.

He is in very serious trouble.
At least the poster will get to find out how much his mate's gaff is worth when his case is in the Daily Soovy though hehe

ETA, yes i know it's rented but that will not stop them smile
rofl

It does sound like there's a lot of money involved, and it is planned and carefully executed avoidance and fraud.

Does your friend have kids and a wife?


MethylatedSpirit

1,906 posts

138 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
Buy 110 classic cars at an average of 8k each. Cash in hand.

Start a dealership, rent the place cash in hand.

Sell cars for reasonable price and take a hit on tax, vat ext.

Then sell the business as it is established.

Keep the money left over under your sofa.



All I need to do now is find a million pounds.

Rude-boy

22,227 posts

235 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
^^^

"Good afternoon Sir. I'm from the HMRC and would like to discuss how your initial investment was funded..."

Oakey

27,618 posts

218 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
BrettMRC said:
Must be a small suitcase for only a £1million in cash?
This is what a million dollars looks like...



MethylatedSpirit

1,906 posts

138 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
Rude-boy said:
^^^

"Good afternoon Sir. I'm from the HMRC and would like to discuss how your initial investment was funded..."
"Ah yes, these old bangers? Well, most private buyers wanted rid of them and I had a bit of cash left over from my job working as a bin-man. Buying the cars for an average of £150 each, I bought each car cash in hand, as this is what the buyers wanted, here is my account statement from my personal bank account showing the individual transactions and here is a copy of the receipts given to customers. I also have statements from wonga.com which helped my initial investment."

BrettMRC

4,179 posts

162 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
RSoovy4 said:
Yup. Very serious matter this.

He is in very serious trouble. Sounds like this is a systematic and planned avoidance scheme, coupled with fraudulent benefit claims. Could very eaily be prison on the cards.
7-14 years I'd say depending on how he co-operates, how much and how quickly he can pay it back etc.

If he has borrowed your lawn mower, nip over and get it now before it's seized under POCA.

VII

131 posts

159 months

Friday 1st November 2013
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Find someone with 900k in the bank and offer them 1 million in cash for it.

MitchT

15,964 posts

211 months

Friday 1st November 2013
quotequote all
Nedzilla said:
If no one can legally claim it is theirs within 28 days of you finding it you are entitled to keep it.
So basically you need to find a remote police station as far away as possible from where you found the cash and then cross your fingers. That would be a long 28 days!