Hammered sausages.

[GTIR]

Igurisu said:

Haven't laughed so much in a long time, top work OP.

Hammer67 said:

gtidriver said:

Shall I start a new thread, sausage watch.

Didn't laugh at that did you, you bloody heathen.

[ali_kat]

ambuletz said:

what about getting a one of those bird food things that hang off a branch and letting it soak into a bowl of some kind of laxative liquid?

WTF?

Why the fk would someone do that, it's not even remotely funny; it's a fking cruel way to kill !

Sorry OP, but

[slippery]

Sounds like it's not living up to the hype to me, but well done to the OP for conducting the experiment.

[Mashedpotatoes]

Wakey wakey hands off snaky

[supersan23]

So any updates this morning?

[gtidriver]

this is the level of mass destruction, it's not what I think we where hoping for. One sausage gone.

[gtidriver]

That's the communal grass area. The piece by my garage is untouched since last night.

[Mashedpotatoes]

I think we kneed to artificially introduce badgers into the equation. They are vicious little buggers I suggest you ware gloves op

[Blown2CV]

i'm gathering from this thread that this is a method to get someone back for having pissed you off, by hammering sausages into their lawn so that wild and domesticated animals alike will ravage said lawn to try and eat the sausages?

[WinstonWolf]

Scientist hat on, I think you need to go for deeper burial to increase the area of devastation.

[GrumpyTwig]

HD Adam said:

Can somebody put in a request to Jim'll Paint It on Facebook if they are friends?

I want a lawn, hammered sausages, the OP, an MX-5 racing a 335d in the background and assorted PH characters looking on.

I could only get the sausages in on my xmas card suggestion but hey...


"The crew from red dwarf are celebrating xmas with nibbles and mulled wine. Through a frosty glass window you can see that Rimmer wasn't invited in and as revenge is hammering tesco value sausages into the lawn outside. Even the annoying toaster is invited and can be seen canoodling with a hot cross bun. Oh an for some reason Spock has turned up on a space hopper. The fairy on their tree is Peter Jackson and looks worse off for it..."

[gtidriver]

Going on the results so far id say it'll probably only be any good for golf greens. Or it could be that it was bloody cold last night and the local wildlife don't like getting cold.

[gtidriver]

I now have a problem. If the wildlife don't dig them out then i will have to. Some of them are a foot deep and I'm sure they won't just slide out.

[GrumpyTwig]

From the afore mentioned thread, can I suggest you also try this idea?

crmcatee said:

Get some grass seed and wait until he's out,

Then write 'knob' on his lawn. It'll take a couple of weeks to come out and will be guaranteed to be a different colour/type of green than what exists on his lawn at the moment.

No amount of cutting grass will remove it

[Rickyy]

Whilst I applaud the OP for his efforts, I really hope this doesn't work. It may stop getting suggested in every single thread.

[Zoobeef]

I think this should be revisited in the spring or summer. Morea animals and warmer to get the sausages smelling.

[gtidriver]

Small update, my lad just saw some birds pecking the sausage plot. I wonder now if its birds that have been nibbling as well.
Next week i,ll flatten another area next to the garage bury some more sausages and lay an area of sand down so we can see foot prints of whats eating them.

[The Nur]

I think you were spot on with the drill but the sausages need to be cooked to gain the full attraction factor.

You are close to something, I can feel it

[gtidriver]

What if i put some of the lovely cumberlands from last nights dinner into a fresh hole,maybe next to a frozen one for comparison. This will definitely have to be done monday morning, wife has other plans this weekend that do not include gardens drills hammers and value sausages..

[The Nur]

gtidriver said:

What if i put some of the lovely cumberlands from last nights dinner into a fresh hole,maybe next to a frozen one for comparison. This will definitely have to be done monday morning, wife has other plans this weekend that do not include gardens drills hammers and value sausages..

Personally I wouldn't be wasting a good cumberland if I could help it but in the name of science I think it must be done. I think if rapid insertion could be guaranteed the most damage could be done with a hot sausage at a depth of around twice its overall length. Cooked but cold sausages could also be used but I have not yet theorised their deployment.