14yr old- flash point over him living on his PlayStation
Discussion
Pit Pony said:
ruggedscotty said:
I remember a few years ago (This isnt new) friend got concerned about use of computer and playing of games etc...
curtailed this locked up computer and generally brought in control. Didnt go down well....
14 year old son gets angry about change in computer use.... says you will be sorry to father....
Friend comes home, daughter comes in and says seen your car.... ?
he looks out and sees son standing with tin of white paint, and paint running off of car....
Goes out, just as well son is faster than father as there would have been a murder. Anyways turns out son standing there with tin of dulux's best white paint had put some dairy cream over the car, and sent in the sister....
Grounded, and no computer / consoles for 3 months from that. Think the son learned about actions have consequences....
Son should have been given a medal. Brilliant work. Shows great imagination and creativity. But also a understanding of the boundaries you shouldn't cross ice creme okay, paint not okay curtailed this locked up computer and generally brought in control. Didnt go down well....
14 year old son gets angry about change in computer use.... says you will be sorry to father....
Friend comes home, daughter comes in and says seen your car.... ?
he looks out and sees son standing with tin of white paint, and paint running off of car....
Goes out, just as well son is faster than father as there would have been a murder. Anyways turns out son standing there with tin of dulux's best white paint had put some dairy cream over the car, and sent in the sister....
Grounded, and no computer / consoles for 3 months from that. Think the son learned about actions have consequences....
My boy is 12 and we see the same addictive challenges to a mobile/PS we have. Its a challenge as most kids nowadays socialise digitally, its not just a case of taking tech away you are removing them from a social group. Its the modern equivalent of when we were younger and being told by your parent that you couldn't go outside and hang out with your mates and to sit inside on your own instead looking at them out the window. The teenagers of today will conversely have similar challenges later in life with their own kid and whatever socialising tech/activity is popular at the time.
Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.
Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.
coldel said:
My boy is 12 and we see the same addictive challenges to a mobile/PS we have. Its a challenge as most kids nowadays socialise digitally, its not just a case of taking tech away you are removing them from a social group. Its the modern equivalent of when we were younger and being told by your parent that you couldn't go outside and hang out with your mates and to sit inside on your own instead looking at them out the window. The teenagers of today will conversely have similar challenges later in life with their own kid and whatever socialising tech/activity is popular at the time.
Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.
I'm sure the kid can barely contain his excitement.Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.
r3g said:
coldel said:
My boy is 12 and we see the same addictive challenges to a mobile/PS we have. Its a challenge as most kids nowadays socialise digitally, its not just a case of taking tech away you are removing them from a social group. Its the modern equivalent of when we were younger and being told by your parent that you couldn't go outside and hang out with your mates and to sit inside on your own instead looking at them out the window. The teenagers of today will conversely have similar challenges later in life with their own kid and whatever socialising tech/activity is popular at the time.
Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.
I'm sure the kid can barely contain his excitement.Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.
Sycamore said:
vaud said:
Sycamore said:
You had a volatile son who was prone to kicking off when he didn't get his own way, so now you're training him in hand-to-hand combat
Upcoming thread next week about how you told him off and got Mr Miyagi'd
Personally I think it is a good idea. A disciplined sport that burns off energy... probably good to channel it.Upcoming thread next week about how you told him off and got Mr Miyagi'd
The bigger issue would always be OP's wife not exactly backing him up
Edited by Hugo Stiglitz on Thursday 11th April 18:48
r3g said:
coldel said:
My boy is 12 and we see the same addictive challenges to a mobile/PS we have. Its a challenge as most kids nowadays socialise digitally, its not just a case of taking tech away you are removing them from a social group. Its the modern equivalent of when we were younger and being told by your parent that you couldn't go outside and hang out with your mates and to sit inside on your own instead looking at them out the window. The teenagers of today will conversely have similar challenges later in life with their own kid and whatever socialising tech/activity is popular at the time.
Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.
I'm sure the kid can barely contain his excitement.Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.
My lads are all now nearly forty, but one in particular was a nightmare between the ages of 13-19.
He used to be gaming until 6am sometimes, it caused terrible rows because my wife did not back me up, just left me too it. His bedroom was a pigsty too, even though we lived in a lovely house.
I tried taking away his equipment, but he argued he was playing with mates in America and it was daytime there.
Eventually, he left home and is now an extremely wealthy computer programmer
To sum up, make sure your wife 100% supports whatever you decide.
Apparently 14 year old girls are ten times worse.
He used to be gaming until 6am sometimes, it caused terrible rows because my wife did not back me up, just left me too it. His bedroom was a pigsty too, even though we lived in a lovely house.
I tried taking away his equipment, but he argued he was playing with mates in America and it was daytime there.
Eventually, he left home and is now an extremely wealthy computer programmer
To sum up, make sure your wife 100% supports whatever you decide.
Apparently 14 year old girls are ten times worse.
sandman77 said:
I just about spat my coffee all over my keyboard reading this.
Haha it does sound like he lives in a cage in the basement in poverty on a second read through We kept him away from lots of sugary stuff and carbonated drinks growing up, so yeah its a treat for him as he gets a massive sugar hit off it and will happily dump the tech to help me out and get a sugar hit
sandman77 said:
r3g said:
coldel said:
My boy is 12 and we see the same addictive challenges to a mobile/PS we have. Its a challenge as most kids nowadays socialise digitally, its not just a case of taking tech away you are removing them from a social group. Its the modern equivalent of when we were younger and being told by your parent that you couldn't go outside and hang out with your mates and to sit inside on your own instead looking at them out the window. The teenagers of today will conversely have similar challenges later in life with their own kid and whatever socialising tech/activity is popular at the time.
Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.
I'm sure the kid can barely contain his excitement.Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.
In the 1970s he would have been thrashed with a leather belt and told to go to his room and the teachers at school where just as bad pulling your hair and slapping you, ask me how I know.
Seems today society has gone in completely the opposite direction and now far too soft and wishing to best friends with their kids.
Seems today society has gone in completely the opposite direction and now far too soft and wishing to best friends with their kids.
goldieandblackie said:
In the 1970s he would have been thrashed with a leather belt and told to go to his room and the teachers at school where just as bad pulling your hair and slapping you, ask me how I know.
Seems today society has gone in completely the opposite direction and now far too soft and wishing to best friends with their kids.
It does seem exceedingly strange that society would end up deciding it didn't want to routinely beat their children in order to gain total subservience... Seems today society has gone in completely the opposite direction and now far too soft and wishing to best friends with their kids.
In the 1970s he would have been thrashed with a leather belt and told to go to his room and the teachers at school where just as bad pulling your hair and slapping you, ask me how I know.
Seems today society has gone in completely the opposite direction and now far too soft and wishing to best friends with their kids.
Seems today society has gone in completely the opposite direction and now far too soft and wishing to best friends with their kids.
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