July 26th 2014. Day 17 at the Mental Health Clinic.

[ali_kat]

NeMiSiS said:

Sorry, but why can't this process be made easier?

When I gave to other worthy causes, Swerni/Ali-Kat/EddieCain etc I clicked on a clicky and pay-palled my money, job done, easy.

Sort it out, cleverer people than I.

I think we all know that our money wont fix Marvs mental health issues, he needs to go back to the 'Hilton' for some more professional electric shock therapy, but I have no issues with him spending some of my money on 'coke and hookers' while he waits.

WIA.

Because it wasn't going to 'us' - thank you again btw

However, I think you can set up JustGiving to go to a person now, certainly you can with Crowdfunding it seems.

But I agree, we need Merv to input before we start putting £££ anywhere. He may not want it for a start

[MarvGTI]

Adenauer said:

Marv, that's quite an update, stay as focussed as you can.

Which town are you in now?

Würzburg used to be the case, now I keep close to Luxembourg. My sister actually lives in France.

CinnamonFan said:

Im happy to help too. There seems to be loopholes in the system if anyone can end up like Marv has through no fault of their own.

Bookmarked.

There is quite a lot of fault of my own, truth is I saw the homelessness coming for a few months, but lacked (still lack) the energy and determination and, cheesy as it may sound, hope to "get back on my feet for God's sake you're a young guy" as is the usual response I get here.

NeMiSiS said:

Sorry, but why can't this process be made easier?

When I gave to other worthy causes, Swerni/Ali-Kat/EddieCain etc I clicked on a clicky and pay-palled my money, job done, easy.

Sort it out, cleverer people than I.

I think we all know that our money wont fix Marvs mental health issues, he needs to go back to the 'Hilton' for some more professional electric shock therapy, but I have no issues with him spending some of my money on 'coke and hookers' while he waits.

WIA.

NeMiSis, as mentioned a few posts above, I have no bank account anymore, no credit card, no Paypal.

Coke and Hookers sounds good though ^^ 'fraid I've neither the nose nor the prostate to make you gents proud though!

V6Pushfit said:

The first question is what does the OP actually need???? A proper address? A move to another country? Tabs n booze, coke n hookers??
The second question is how do we sort it for him?

Marv seems switched on, so can he please confirm in order of priority what is needed and we can see if/how we can assist. If its cash then how much, if its something else then what/how/when?

Marv we need a bit of input here...

Main thing needed to get the ball rolling is just an address - social services were supposed to call me today and let me know if it call worked out, but I haven't heard from them yet. Didn't want to press the matter, as people who know Luxembourg and her administrations know that calling will only make things worse and slower. I'll wait till tomorrow afternoon.

With an address, I'll be able to register with the jobs center as well as applying for the RMG, our equivalent of sorts to Germany's Hartz IV. I don't know the UK term for this, but the translation is Guaranteed Minimal Revenue.

This is by no means a situation I want to be in for long, as people have a tendency to get stuck in the RMG (you have to actually reimburse the money after you've found work so people just never bother getting a job) and living off anybody.

Step by step. Step by step.

ali_kat said:

But I agree, we need Merv to input before we start putting £££ anywhere. He may not want it for a start

I am a dude who never takes what he can't give back. Not for pride or shame or whatever reason, but simply because I will not take anything from anybody they might need later if they end up in a situation like mine. Because it can happen seriously quickly.

I want to thank the lot of you - the kindness on this forum is overwhelming.

If I am to decline your very awesome offer, it is not for being an ungrateful chav - my current situation is dire but the main reason is my mind and the fact that it won't stop reminding me how st life is.

Before we start any collection in my name, I'd like to say that refugees from Syria need help much more than I do. They have less to live on and even more than their unfair share of problems. I've witnessed violence against them myself while in Germany, and it is more than disgusting.

Thank you again, all of you.

You're a good bunch, better than most left in the world.

[anonymous-user]

Merv as you say it's the address that's the most vital thing is there anything we can help with? I'm sure someone can help is some way to put pressure on you behalf? We may be a bunch of idiots and after all it's PH but there's a lot of people rooting for you and it's surprising what can be achieved in numbers. Stick a photo on here you never know a newspaper may take up your cause too.

[MarvGTI]

V6Pushfit said:

Merv as you say it's the address that's the most vital thing is there anything we can help with? I'm sure someone can help is some way to put pressure on you behalf? We may be a bunch of idiots and after all it's PH but there's a lot of people rooting for you and it's surprising what can be achieved in numbers. Stick a photo on here you never know a newspaper may take up your cause too.

V6,

There's only a handful of other PHers from Luxembourg (where I live), maybe there a lawyer specialized in pro bono homeless work... Russ ?

No newspapers, that's a kind of exposure I frankly dgaf about. There newspapers in Lux are a joke (as far as the ones go that'd pick this up) and no way do I want my son to find this crap out should he google me one day

[anonymous-user]

Right Merv so it's a Lawyer, and Address issues. Scrub the tabloids.

Anyone?

[monthefish]

MarvGTI said:

I am a dude who never takes what he can't give back. Not for pride or shame or whatever reason, but simply because I will not take anything from anybody they might need later if they end up in a situation like mine. Because it can happen seriously quickly.

I want to thank the lot of you - the kindness on this forum is overwhelming.

If I am to decline your very awesome offer, it is not for being an ungrateful chav - my current situation is dire but the main reason is my mind and the fact that it won't stop reminding me how st life is.

Not ungrateful at all. Totally understandable - the human mind can be a complete c-unit sometimes, and sadly all the money in the world won't change that.

Things aren't as bad as you perceive them to be, but I realise the futility of me saying so. Like telling a depressed person to "cheer up" or telling someone with extreme anxiety "don't worry"

Anyway, as you already know, you need to work through these issues yourself but it is important you get the help and support you need. Do you feel you are getting the help and support you need?

Just remember there is a large number of people on here that genuinely care for you (as hopefully has been indicated thus far), and if there is something that anyone on here might be able to do to help, just shout.

[nute]

Im no lawyer and I'm not in germany but this -

"the main reason is my mind and the fact that it won't stop reminding me how st life is."

- i can completely identify with . Ive had a few mental health issues in the past, at one point my GP wanted to put me into a hospital to get help but for various reasons i refused to go. That was 2010/11 and it was quite a long slow climb back to normality.

Id be 100% happy to help you if you decided you could accept some financial support. I don't know what your specific problems are but the lack of a roof over your head and the stress it must cause can't be helping. The biggest thing i have going for me was/is supportive people to talk to, dunno to what extent you have that but there are evidently a lot of folks on here who are rooting for you and if you just want to talk, albeit by email feel free to pm me.

[5potTurbo]

Marvin,

I sent an email to your Yahoo address I have.
Please let me know if you received it, and what we can do next to help you?

Russell

[227bhp]

The chap needs help, not money slinging at him. So if i'm reading this correctly and in order of importance:

An address to live at.
So then you can get an ID right?
A real life person to talk to and look out for him.
Then some professional help, some structure and a job - probably just something basic to start off with.
Then build from there.....

Right or wrong?

[TheJimi]

227bhp said:

The chap needs help, not money slinging at him. So if i'm reading this correctly and in order of importance:

An address to live at.
So then you can get an ID right?
A real life person to talk to and look out for him.
Then some professional help, some structure and a job - probably just something basic to start off with.
Then build from there.....

Right or wrong?

No-one is saying that money is going to solve his problems, not least the psychological problems Marv has, and yes, practical help is also needed. However, just as equally, money WILL help him, to buy food and just generally make life a bit more comfortable for him.

Don't insult the rest of us by saying "this chap need help, not money slinging at him" - we know this.

[5potTurbo]

Lawyers don't come cheaply, so even if we can cover 1 hour there for him, it's a help, Shirley?

[easytiger123]

TheJimi said:

No-one is saying that money is going to solve his problems, not least the psychological problems Marv has, and yes, practical help is also needed. However, just as equally, money WILL help him, to buy food and just generally make life a bit more comfortable for him.

Don't insult the rest of us by saying "this chap need help, not money slinging at him" - we know this.

Very well put. Even if all a bit of money does is show him that complete strangers (albeit strangers bound by a love of cars and filthy kebabs) care and want to help in some way then surely that's a good thing.

[ali_kat]

MarvGTI said:

I am a dude who never takes what he can't give back. Not for pride or shame or whatever reason, but simply because I will not take anything from anybody they might need later if they end up in a situation like mine. Because it can happen seriously quickly.

I want to thank the lot of you - the kindness on this forum is overwhelming.

We understand that, call this paying it forward - all of us wanting to help you, have been helped in some way; this is paying that forward. Yiu can then pay it forward in an act that helps someone's else in the future.

No one would give what they can't afford to lose, but that put together could help you to get an address, which will help you get what you need from the State, which will help you get a job, which will help you see your son & dog and so on...

For example, if an apartment is £1,000/month (with bills) then it just takes 100 (50) of us committing to £10 (£20)month for 6 months is feasible and gives you 6 months breathing room. I know I'd commit to that.

I help the refugees already, but I'd rather help a 'friend'

[monthefish]

ali_kat said:

MarvGTI said:

I am a dude who never takes what he can't give back. Not for pride or shame or whatever reason, but simply because I will not take anything from anybody they might need later if they end up in a situation like mine. Because it can happen seriously quickly.

I want to thank the lot of you - the kindness on this forum is overwhelming.

We understand that, call this paying it forward - all of us wanting to help you, have been helped in some way; this is paying that forward. Yiu can then pay it forward in an act that helps someone's else in the future.

No one would give what they can't afford to lose, but that put together could help you to get an address, which will help you get what you need from the State, which will help you get a job, which will help you see your son & dog and so on...

For example, if an apartment is £1,000/month (with bills) then it just takes 100 (50) of us committing to £10 (£20)month for 6 months is feasible and gives you 6 months breathing room. I know I'd commit to that.

I help the refugees already, but I'd rather help a 'friend'

Nicely put.

[anonymous-user]

^^^ this. This is what charity is, I would rather help Merv than piss about with ruddy Poxfam etc any day of the week.

[GloverMart]

Hang on in there, Marv. The generosity of people on here when I had "troubles" a few years back was astonishing.

They're a good bunch on here and while you might feel awkward about accepting it, best advice I could give you is accept it.

Good luck buddy.

[MarvGTI]

Well here's the update.

I tried calling the social services lady on Friday but she wasn't available all day long.

She called me in the evening (8pm) to tell me that apparently there were documents missing in the file she submitted and the whole application has been put on hold. She gave me an appointment this morning so we could figure this out.

I went there this morning and turns out that she received no further information about missing stuff; the file has been put on hold until Dec 17th for no apparent whatsoever except screw those that ask for and need help.

A definitive verdict will be given on Dec 17th - I won't be getting my hopes up in anticipation.

This afternoon I had a court appearance.

My father is suing my ex (my son's mother) and me because apparently he wants custody rights. The ex informed me of this when I saw my son last week and asked if I could make the appointment to see wtf is up, she sent her lawyer as well.

Apparently I didn't get the formal summons because, guess what, no address -> no mail.

I won't be getting into any details about the case as of yet, but my father sues for what basically amounts to my theoretical custody rights as he deems me officially not a factor in my son's life anymore.

This I deem totally unacceptable; the old man is behind most of my troubles today and at the genesis of that deep, dark emptiness, and I will be fighting him on all fronts on this.

I also get the slight suspicion that my ex is only letting me see my son as a bargaining chip to get me on her side during the impending trial. I had called her about visiting my son what must be a few days before she received her summons letter, and she made excuses about it not being the right time blablabla.

Few days later, in late October, I ask what my son wants for his upcoming birthday and suddenly I can meet him.

At the meeting she gives me a copy of the letter and asks me to appear in court.

Of course no time to seek legal counsel, let alone find a lawyer who'll take on a hobo.

I talked to my sister about this since she used to know my ex quite well, and she thinks this is plausible.

I am being played like a Fender on all ends, but at least it's for the sake of my son's safety from the abusive, scheming lump of gravity that is my father. No lengths I wouldn't go to in this case, and the ex knows it very well.

Well, in any case, the next court date is Dec 10th.

I'll update the thread as more info becomes available.

Thank you for all the kind words and also the few that emailed me.

[anonymous-user]

Hi Marv
More frustration, but hang in there Bud and it sounds like it will reach a conclusion by the end of the year.
You have a father, wife and sister so can none of them assist or provide you with assistance or an address - after all you are the father of their grandson/son/niece?

[MarvGTI]

V6Pushfit said:

Hi Marv
More frustration, but hang in there Bud and it sounds like it will reach a conclusion by the end of the year.
You have a father, wife and sister so can none of them assist or provide you with assistance or an address - after all you are the father of their grandson/son/niece?

I had originally moved in my sister when the wife and I separated in 2013, and this was during a time of great emotional turmoil and depression, and it made her depressed, too. I have currently been staying at my sister's for a couple of weeks, but this is no permanent solution.

I've already been getting remarks that maybe it's time to go, so at the end of the week I'll be back out on the street, which I am totally fine with - my sister and her boyfriend (my best friend before they became an item) have done more than enough.

My parents are, as far as I am concerned, ghosts haunting me from afar. I broke off all contact with them some time ago and chances are that the next time I see my father, one of us isn't going to make it out alive.

My ex wife has a live-in boyfriend and she can't stand me, so that's a no no.

The trouble is that the few people left in my life all live abroad, albeit just 5 or 10 minutes from the border. This means that I can't go officially live with them because I would forfeit all my rights at assistance and help in Luxembourg - I would essentially become France's problem, or Germany's problem.

Ah well, what's another month in the st ?

[monthefish]

MarvGTI said:

Of course no time to seek legal counsel, let alone find a lawyer who'll take on a hobo.

I talked to my sister about this since she used to know my ex quite well, and she thinks this is plausible.

I am being played like a Fender on all ends, but at least it's for the sake of my son's safety from the abusive, scheming lump of gravity that is my father. No lengths I wouldn't go to in this case, and the ex knows it very well.

Well, in any case, the next court date is Dec 10th.

I strongly recommend getting a solicitor. Are you able to get Legal Aid? https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid/overview

A good solicitor won't just help fight your case, but it's also good having someone on your side fighting your corner. There is a huge psychological benefit to this.
As has been said, there are offers from those on here to meet the cost of getting a solicitor and I would urge you to seriously consider accepting this.

All the best, whatever you decide to do.

Edited by monthefish on Tuesday 17th November 14:30