Gender Dysphoria

[DanL]

Meant to reply last night, but got distracted unfortunately. Brave post, and informative - as you commented I’m sure your words will help others, in the same way this thread helped you.

Good luck to you with all of this - time may not fix everything, but it does generally improve most things!

[rowley birkin]

Just wanted to say wow ! Jasmine. After reading your post I was expecting you to be much older, and I’ve never met a mechanic who can express himself like that. I don’t think those last 10 years have been wasted at all, you just had a bit further to travel than most of us. Best wishes.

[Clockwork Cupcake]

WorldBoss said:

His wife (told her separately, known her for 10+ years, think of her as a sister) told me she always thought something was up with me, but assumed I was gay, LOL.

It's a Flag of Convenience that I'm happy to fly under on the occasions that I present as male - people mistake my femininity for effeminacy, and frankly it's easier not to correct them.

Big congrats and support to you for taking such a brave step. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

If there is one thing I have learned over the years, though, is that the journey is as important as the destination. I know it sounds trite, but it's worth hanging onto when you ask yourself "why am I even doing this? What's the point? Will I really be happy at the end of it all?". Because, really, it doesn't matter so long as you're happier than you were before you set off on the journey. If that makes any sense.

WorldBoss said:

I'm bi/pan. I always have been, but a few months before accepting I was trans, I "allowed" myself to deviate from the "heterosexual norm" I just assumed I fell into.

Sex itself isn't something that I am all that interested in. It's one of the things that stood out to me when talking to so many men. More often than not casual conversations would move to a sexual nature, while I'm just not wired to give a fk... Pun intended .

I can totally relate to this.

Edited by Clockwork Cupcake on Friday 16th November 10:24

[anonymous-user]

My word. THANK YOU for all the kind words and support! I don't know what I expected when I posted, but I certainly didn't expect this sort of response.

It means so much to me!

Clockwork Cupcake said:

If there is one thing I have learned over the years, though, is that the journey is as important as the destination. I know it sounds trite, but it's worth hanging onto when you ask yourself "why am I even doing this? What's the point? Will I really be happy at the end of it all?". Because, really, it doesn't matter so long as you're happier than you were before you set off on the journey. If that makes any sense.

That makes perfect sense!

So many people seem to put great emphasis on a particular milestone or point as the destination, but I don't like to think of it that way.

Partly because fixation on 'destinations' consumed so much of my time in the past without reward. "When I do X or buy Y, everything will be alright". Life doesn't work that way, and most people don't think that way. They just live their lives and enjoy the journey for as long as it lasts .

Like you say, I like to think of it as being on the road to me. The vehicle might not be ideal, and I might be driving it a little slower than others might do if they were behind the wheel, but I am actually on the road, instead of constantly thinking about going for a drive .

[gregs656]

WorldBoss said:

I'm a mechanic

The thing with the vast majority of people in work environments is that all they really want to see is people pulling their weight. Continue to do good work and most people will get over their shock. Particularly if they see you are happier in your self.

Do you think you are likely to switch jobs and move a little, or stay put? I'm not sure which would be easier. Moving is attractive because you're a fresh face anyway, but losing your support network and rebuilding is not everyones idea of a good time.

[anonymous-user]

gregs656 said:

WorldBoss said:

I'm a mechanic

The thing with the vast majority of people in work environments is that all they really want to see is people pulling their weight. Continue to do good work and most people will get over their shock. Particularly if they see you are happier in your self.

Do you think you are likely to switch jobs and move a little, or stay put? I'm not sure which would be easier. Moving is attractive because you're a fresh face anyway, but losing your support network and rebuilding is not everyones idea of a good time.

I hope so, but in my experience workshops are horriblly cliquey, with piss taking, offensive comments and passive aggressive bullying rife if you are even slightly out of the norm.

There are protections in place, but like many jobs our performance metrics are very heavily influenced by the type of jobs we get issued. I've seen loads of techs micro managed out the door by drowning them in rubbish work and then bringing up their efficiency, meanwhile bunging the golden boys cream all day everyday. All workshops are the same in that respect.

Ultimately, I love cars, and will always want to work with them. I hope to be in a position where I can work for myself some day, but for the meantime I'm keeping my head down where I am at, saving my money and improving my knowledge in hopes I can some day make another big leap in my life .