Friendship issue, am I in the wrong?
Discussion
martin mrt said:
If your happy then move on with your life and forget him, you have tried to resolve the situation without success, the ball is firmly in his court now.
Agreed.I sopped contact with a mate of mine because I fell for a girl he once dated and no longer liked and he basically said 'her or me' which a real friend wouldn't do.
6 years on I know I made the right decision as I married her and have a great life.
I would move on, leave him and anyone else to do as they please and get on with your life.
Edited by Butter Face on Saturday 13th July 21:07
Sounds like the ex-mate is a shallow minded clunt! The other ex-mates have believed his lies and are now ignoring you? They sound like shallow minded clunts that can't think for themselves!
The OP on the other hand is up by one petrol headed girlfriend and rid of some brainless twunts.
Looks like the OP is on a winning streak, maybe time to buy a lottery ticket too?
The OP on the other hand is up by one petrol headed girlfriend and rid of some brainless twunts.
Looks like the OP is on a winning streak, maybe time to buy a lottery ticket too?
I was in the same boat as the OP a few years ago, and I made this call too:
I suggest that you pull the most sensible of the group to one side and explain what actually did happen. If they still don't listen, just move on.
sc0tt said:
Bro's before hoe's.
Rule of life.
I couldn't have got it more wrong if I tried. Rule of life.
I suggest that you pull the most sensible of the group to one side and explain what actually did happen. If they still don't listen, just move on.
James2593 said:
I'll try and keep this short! But i'm afraid this is a long one, suppose i've gotta tell the whole story though!
I had a good (what I thought) group of 4/5 friends, one of which was seeing a girl, wouldn't call it dating, they saw each other like once a week. December 2012 comes and said girl is in hospital having an ovary removed due to it being cancerous. She was in for a week and couldn't even move on the hospital bed but my friend really couldn't care less to be honest, he visited twice, and that was only cause I drove him there. She asked me to come down a couple of times, and after seeing the state she was in, giving her some company would help as my friend had let her down when she needed him most. Christmas eve she was allowed home and we remained in small contact, with me asking how she was doing, nothing more than that really.
Start of january 2013 and my friend decides to end the relationship via text (yes, the pansy way), they had been going out for around a year. I think this is because he couldn't hack the caring for her, or by the fact that this decreases the chance of her having kids. He told her before the OP, "if it means you can't have kids, i'll find someone else that can," Is what he told her.
The contact between me and her kinda grew from there, I discovered her love for cars and motorbikes, she's as much a petrol head as me! This was all kept hidden while they (My friend and her) was going out as he kept her away from us and told a few lies so we would dislike her.
It was getting to the point where we liked each other but I didn't want things to happen over respect for my friend, but emotions came over me. She loves the things I love and it was a too big of an opportunity to miss. We got together and then came the duty, out of respect, to tell my friend that his ex would be my girlfriend. There was no easy way to do it as I wanted to protect his feelings so just told him straight (including the group). He didn't even confront me about it, removed me off facebook and didn't speak to me. If he had a problem about it, I expected him to confront me about it, but he seemed to run away.
He (what I presume) spread a lot lies to the group in order for them to turn against me, which worked. I know this because when I told them, they were fine with it and not bothered in the slightest, until he told his false side of the story. I know there are rumours circulating, one of which goes along the lines that I apparently had sex with her in the hospital, explain that one when it hurt for her to even laugh, but he wouldn't know would he, because he wasn't there for her.
Fast forward 5 months and it's still unresolved, he won't face it head on, 2 attempts to liaise failed when he ignores me. I have to do it over the internet as when he sees me in person, he will pretend he hasn't seen me and will speed walk off in another direction with his head down. To make it clear, there has been none, and don't intend on bringing any violence into this, i'm a laid back guy. We went to college together (2 years ago) so our friends/acquaintances are similar, meaning my social events are now limited as they believe his side of the story. Mainly due to them only hearing his side, mine has not been 'broadcast' at all really.
Apologies for the length of this post, but it isn't a simple story and for it to piece together, I need to tell all the details.
So, have I been a colossal tool? I know going out with a mates ex is dodgy ground, but he was perfectly fine with the breakup, he was almost glad to be single. If he was really upset about it, I wouldn't have gone near her.
Just in case...I had a good (what I thought) group of 4/5 friends, one of which was seeing a girl, wouldn't call it dating, they saw each other like once a week. December 2012 comes and said girl is in hospital having an ovary removed due to it being cancerous. She was in for a week and couldn't even move on the hospital bed but my friend really couldn't care less to be honest, he visited twice, and that was only cause I drove him there. She asked me to come down a couple of times, and after seeing the state she was in, giving her some company would help as my friend had let her down when she needed him most. Christmas eve she was allowed home and we remained in small contact, with me asking how she was doing, nothing more than that really.
Start of january 2013 and my friend decides to end the relationship via text (yes, the pansy way), they had been going out for around a year. I think this is because he couldn't hack the caring for her, or by the fact that this decreases the chance of her having kids. He told her before the OP, "if it means you can't have kids, i'll find someone else that can," Is what he told her.
The contact between me and her kinda grew from there, I discovered her love for cars and motorbikes, she's as much a petrol head as me! This was all kept hidden while they (My friend and her) was going out as he kept her away from us and told a few lies so we would dislike her.
It was getting to the point where we liked each other but I didn't want things to happen over respect for my friend, but emotions came over me. She loves the things I love and it was a too big of an opportunity to miss. We got together and then came the duty, out of respect, to tell my friend that his ex would be my girlfriend. There was no easy way to do it as I wanted to protect his feelings so just told him straight (including the group). He didn't even confront me about it, removed me off facebook and didn't speak to me. If he had a problem about it, I expected him to confront me about it, but he seemed to run away.
He (what I presume) spread a lot lies to the group in order for them to turn against me, which worked. I know this because when I told them, they were fine with it and not bothered in the slightest, until he told his false side of the story. I know there are rumours circulating, one of which goes along the lines that I apparently had sex with her in the hospital, explain that one when it hurt for her to even laugh, but he wouldn't know would he, because he wasn't there for her.
Fast forward 5 months and it's still unresolved, he won't face it head on, 2 attempts to liaise failed when he ignores me. I have to do it over the internet as when he sees me in person, he will pretend he hasn't seen me and will speed walk off in another direction with his head down. To make it clear, there has been none, and don't intend on bringing any violence into this, i'm a laid back guy. We went to college together (2 years ago) so our friends/acquaintances are similar, meaning my social events are now limited as they believe his side of the story. Mainly due to them only hearing his side, mine has not been 'broadcast' at all really.
Apologies for the length of this post, but it isn't a simple story and for it to piece together, I need to tell all the details.
So, have I been a colossal tool? I know going out with a mates ex is dodgy ground, but he was perfectly fine with the breakup, he was almost glad to be single. If he was really upset about it, I wouldn't have gone near her.
Globs said:
Spitfire2 said:
How is this complicated.
Your friend is a pathetic loser. You got the girl. Forget the prick and move on.
+1.Your friend is a pathetic loser. You got the girl. Forget the prick and move on.
Failing to understand the angst here OP.
k em, move on that is if the girls worth it, it will work and you will make new friends.
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