Has anyone used a private detective?
Discussion
A bit down said:
I meet quite a few people professionally and it seems like people are becoming more selfish in general. Perhaps I just bring out the worst in people - I certainly have in the last year :-).
Its not just you. With these kind of people whenever I'm talking I can see it on their face, they aren't listening they're waiting for their turn to speak!StottyZr said:
A bit down said:
I meet quite a few people professionally and it seems like people are becoming more selfish in general. Perhaps I just bring out the worst in people - I certainly have in the last year :-).
Its not just you. With these kind of people whenever I'm talking I can see it on their face, they aren't listening they're waiting for their turn to speak!
- seems to be a modern phenomena.garyhun said:
StottyZr said:
A bit down said:
I meet quite a few people professionally and it seems like people are becoming more selfish in general. Perhaps I just bring out the worst in people - I certainly have in the last year :-).
Its not just you. With these kind of people whenever I'm talking I can see it on their face, they aren't listening they're waiting for their turn to speak! - seems to be a modern phenomena.IOM this is part of the Facebook/ICT revolution. People talk about themselves more and more these days in post and written communication. Not that it always appears evident but they have to think a little more when typing than talking. As such they have ‘conversations’ they would normally only have had once or twice in their lives set into their minds far more and topics that they might have found difficult to discuss roll off the tongue with little concern.
In short more people are more used to talking about themselves and have the confidence to do so. The problem is that they haven’t learnt when to shut up yet...
Rude-boy said:
garyhun said:
StottyZr said:
A bit down said:
I meet quite a few people professionally and it seems like people are becoming more selfish in general. Perhaps I just bring out the worst in people - I certainly have in the last year :-).
Its not just you. With these kind of people whenever I'm talking I can see it on their face, they aren't listening they're waiting for their turn to speak! - seems to be a modern phenomena.As I always say - you have 2 ears and one mouth, so use them in that ratio
A bit down said:
This seems like a fair point, thanks. It's also easier for me to just be quiet and let them talk :-). I've edited my last post, because it isn't just women - I meet quite a few people professionally and it seems like people are becoming more selfish in general. Perhaps I just bring out the worst in people - I certainly have in the last year :-).
I don't think it's you. I've noticed a "Look at me!" "Look at me!" culture developing in the workplace in recent years.
Whether this reflects the attributes of the Facebook Generation, or the fact that jobs are harder to get (and keep), I don't know.
Either way, not good.
Sym7 said:
I read your posts and see my future......
Sorry to hear that, it does seem all too common (and the pattern of behaviour is very similar). Hopefully your situation will have a happier ending but even if it doesn't, life is far from terrible.Thanks to others for the kind words. As ever, it's very touching to know people care about strangers.
A bit down said:
Thanks to others for the kind words. As ever, it's very touching to know people care about strangers.
I think (FFS now I feel I should go change my response on the man thread) you are an inspiration - the way you have conducted yourself is just beyond my comprehension. If others acted as you the world would be a better place.Thanks for asking.
Funnily enough, I was just browsing the Lounge for the first time in a while and I spotted (and felt compelled to post in) the other thread. Very different to see one go the other way.
I'm in an interesting place at the moment. It feels a bit like I'm in limbo - my old life seems a long way behind me (it's almost a year since X moved out) and I have a routine but I keep waiting for something to happen. I have no idea what the "something" is and it's difficult to describe what I mean. I'm spending all my time with the kids (X is having some health issues and her parents have moved in with her for a while) which I love, or at work. I could try to create "me" time, but I've no idea what I would do with it - probably more cleaning/washing/ironing/gardening, etc.
The children have had one or two short-term behavioural issues but nothing major (my Daughter has just started high school and going from a small village primary to a large high school has been a bit of a culture shock for her), in fact they have been brilliant - including when I had to wake them up at 3am to take their Mum to hospital having been called in the middle of the night a couple of weeks ago.
I suppose I'd really like to meet someone else but I'm very seldom able to put myself in a position to do so. I've never really been a short-term relationship person and I wouldn't have the first clue how "do a Council Baby" (no offence intended CB, your escapades and your ability/willingness to describe them are very entertaining - it takes all sorts :-)).
I've actually no idea what I do want out of a relationship - part of me wants to play the field and have no commitments but as well as not being very good at it, I've always been completely loyal and faithful and I'm just not tuned in to "signals" that may indicate interest. The other part of me wants someone for the longer term, but that's a needle in a haystack and I do know that (although I do understand that everyone is different) it will be a long time before I can properly trust anyone again. I've considered online dating but it seems very impersonal and numbers-based. For the time being, I'm following my old Grandmother's advice - "when in doubt, do nowt". The downside of this is that one day I'll wake up wearing a Forever Alone t-shirt. Even that isn't all bad though - it's an absolute luxury to get up in the night for a pee, be able to switch the light on and leave the seat up
Both this thread and the one you reference have some quite strong commentary from one poster advising the OP not to listen to any advice given on the thread. I'd have to disagree with this position. Providing the OP is able to understand solid experience-based advice and sort it from the emotional ranting, this type of forum is invaluable. I respect that poster's opinion (and their right to it) but as someone who genuinely benefited tremendously from this thread I must disagree with it.
Anyway, in summary - ticking along really. I've always had confidence in my ability to deal with things and everything will be fine. I really appreciate the enquiry.
Funnily enough, I was just browsing the Lounge for the first time in a while and I spotted (and felt compelled to post in) the other thread. Very different to see one go the other way.
I'm in an interesting place at the moment. It feels a bit like I'm in limbo - my old life seems a long way behind me (it's almost a year since X moved out) and I have a routine but I keep waiting for something to happen. I have no idea what the "something" is and it's difficult to describe what I mean. I'm spending all my time with the kids (X is having some health issues and her parents have moved in with her for a while) which I love, or at work. I could try to create "me" time, but I've no idea what I would do with it - probably more cleaning/washing/ironing/gardening, etc.
The children have had one or two short-term behavioural issues but nothing major (my Daughter has just started high school and going from a small village primary to a large high school has been a bit of a culture shock for her), in fact they have been brilliant - including when I had to wake them up at 3am to take their Mum to hospital having been called in the middle of the night a couple of weeks ago.
I suppose I'd really like to meet someone else but I'm very seldom able to put myself in a position to do so. I've never really been a short-term relationship person and I wouldn't have the first clue how "do a Council Baby" (no offence intended CB, your escapades and your ability/willingness to describe them are very entertaining - it takes all sorts :-)).
I've actually no idea what I do want out of a relationship - part of me wants to play the field and have no commitments but as well as not being very good at it, I've always been completely loyal and faithful and I'm just not tuned in to "signals" that may indicate interest. The other part of me wants someone for the longer term, but that's a needle in a haystack and I do know that (although I do understand that everyone is different) it will be a long time before I can properly trust anyone again. I've considered online dating but it seems very impersonal and numbers-based. For the time being, I'm following my old Grandmother's advice - "when in doubt, do nowt". The downside of this is that one day I'll wake up wearing a Forever Alone t-shirt. Even that isn't all bad though - it's an absolute luxury to get up in the night for a pee, be able to switch the light on and leave the seat up
Both this thread and the one you reference have some quite strong commentary from one poster advising the OP not to listen to any advice given on the thread. I'd have to disagree with this position. Providing the OP is able to understand solid experience-based advice and sort it from the emotional ranting, this type of forum is invaluable. I respect that poster's opinion (and their right to it) but as someone who genuinely benefited tremendously from this thread I must disagree with it.
Anyway, in summary - ticking along really. I've always had confidence in my ability to deal with things and everything will be fine. I really appreciate the enquiry.
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