You find a suitcase with £1 million in it. What would you do

[Birdster]

vinnie83 said:

I doubt it would be as complex as many are making out.

I imagine (not that I know any of course) many shop owners are rolling in money that they can't put in the bank, and they manage to get it spent/in the right places without attracting attention from the tax man.

The idiots who get caught are the ones who want to be flash with the cash - like the drug dealers (low scale - high scale are far wiser I imagine).

I know someone who ended up doing 6 months because he attracted the wrong attention from the police due to his excessive lifestyle vs. his past earnings which led the police to put him under surveillance.

What made the Police look at him though? Inland Revenue, the Bank? Someone must have alerted them. Or he was already known.

[RSoovy4]

robinessex said:

Being as I did the original posting, I ought to add my contribution. Firstly, 98% of you are dishonest, as you've decided to keep the money. Shame on you all ! Mind you, if you were honest enough to hand it in. some idiot would blabber to the comics, and your name would be all over the front pages as a (stupidly) honest citizen. Thus the drug ring who 'lost' it would soon be on your tail. So onto how to get rid of it. Little and often is my method. According to the FSA, there are 154 banks in the UK. Plus a few building societies. So, let's say pick 50, and open up a simple account in each. Right, that's now £20,000 per bank. Divide that by say 50 weeks for the year, thus you've got to deposit £400 into each bank each week. So each week, make it a random amount ± £50 on the £400. Then via internet banking, send the monthly input on each account abroad to a 'friendly' country. One year later, all the £1,000,000 is abroad. Then close all bank accounts. Leave country. Now where did I put that suitcase ?

You'll be needing that for your soap on a rope when you go to prison.

Do you seriously think that you can deposit so much cash in so many places without being picked up? Dream on!

[Birdster]

robinessex said:

Being as I did the original posting, I ought to add my contribution. Firstly, 98% of you are dishonest, as you've decided to keep the money. Shame on you all ! Mind you, if you were honest enough to hand it in. some idiot would blabber to the comics, and your name would be all over the front pages as a (stupidly) honest citizen. Thus the drug ring who 'lost' it would soon be on your tail. So onto how to get rid of it. Little and often is my method. According to the FSA, there are 154 banks in the UK. Plus a few building societies. So, let's say pick 50, and open up a simple account in each. Right, that's now £20,000 per bank. Divide that by say 50 weeks for the year, thus you've got to deposit £400 into each bank each week. So each week, make it a random amount ± £50 on the £400. Then via internet banking, send the monthly input on each account abroad to a 'friendly' country. One year later, all the £1,000,000 is abroad. Then close all bank accounts. Leave country. Now where did I put that suitcase ?

I'd imagine there is some system to flag up multiple bank accounts somewhere.

[Greg_D]

Birdster said:

robinessex said:

Being as I did the original posting, I ought to add my contribution. Firstly, 98% of you are dishonest, as you've decided to keep the money. Shame on you all ! Mind you, if you were honest enough to hand it in. some idiot would blabber to the comics, and your name would be all over the front pages as a (stupidly) honest citizen. Thus the drug ring who 'lost' it would soon be on your tail. So onto how to get rid of it. Little and often is my method. According to the FSA, there are 154 banks in the UK. Plus a few building societies. So, let's say pick 50, and open up a simple account in each. Right, that's now £20,000 per bank. Divide that by say 50 weeks for the year, thus you've got to deposit £400 into each bank each week. So each week, make it a random amount ± £50 on the £400. Then via internet banking, send the monthly input on each account abroad to a 'friendly' country. One year later, all the £1,000,000 is abroad. Then close all bank accounts. Leave country. Now where did I put that suitcase ?

I'd imagine there is some system to flag up multiple bank accounts somewhere.

HMRC are aware of every bank account you have, ask me how i know!!!!!!

[Birdster]

Greg_D said:

Birdster said:

robinessex said:

Being as I did the original posting, I ought to add my contribution. Firstly, 98% of you are dishonest, as you've decided to keep the money. Shame on you all ! Mind you, if you were honest enough to hand it in. some idiot would blabber to the comics, and your name would be all over the front pages as a (stupidly) honest citizen. Thus the drug ring who 'lost' it would soon be on your tail. So onto how to get rid of it. Little and often is my method. According to the FSA, there are 154 banks in the UK. Plus a few building societies. So, let's say pick 50, and open up a simple account in each. Right, that's now £20,000 per bank. Divide that by say 50 weeks for the year, thus you've got to deposit £400 into each bank each week. So each week, make it a random amount ± £50 on the £400. Then via internet banking, send the monthly input on each account abroad to a 'friendly' country. One year later, all the £1,000,000 is abroad. Then close all bank accounts. Leave country. Now where did I put that suitcase ?

I'd imagine there is some system to flag up multiple bank accounts somewhere.

HMRC are aware of every bank account you have, ask me how i know!!!!!!

I'd say from a lesson that you'd rather forget.

[Adenauer]

Greg, the HMRC are aware of every bank account you have, how do you know that?

[RZ1]

I would probably take about £250 and have as much fun as possible trying to spend it until the notes are changed.
Would buy a few cars but keep them under about £10k, use cash for every day spending, spend lots of time with hookers, lots of short holidays taking 10k in cash with me to spend whilst there.
Would also look at buying an old battered classic car then using cash to restore it to a show car standard and selling it

[Greg_D]

Adenauer said:

Greg, the HMRC are aware of every bank account you have, how do you know that?

See the post above yours. TBH, i wasn't in any significant trouble, it was an unused building account from the building of our house that i didn't declare when we were investigated. they specifically asked to see all the statements though and treated me like a criminal until i had satisfied them that i wasn't trying to launder a million in used notes through it.....

Associates of mine haven't been so lucky though and little 'hideaways' have been found and looted....

NEVER underestimate the reach of HMRC and C+E when it comes to getting their money out of you......

[RSoovy4]

Greg_D said:

Adenauer said:

Greg, the HMRC are aware of every bank account you have, how do you know that?

See the post above yours. TBH, i wasn't in any significant trouble, it was an unused building account from the building of our house that i didn't declare when we were investigated. they specifically asked to see all the statements though and treated me like a criminal until i had satisfied them that i wasn't trying to launder a million in used notes through it.....

Associates of mine haven't been so lucky though and little 'hideaways' have been found and looted....

NEVER underestimate the reach of HMRC and C+E when it comes to getting their money out of you......

1000% this.

Once they have you in their sights, they never ever give up, and they find EVERYTHING.

And then they bullyram you.

[The Jolly Todger]

I think it has all been said. But here would be my plan.

1. Put money somewhere safe, dispose of suitcase
2. Save up enough of my own money to start a low-skill, low paperwork cash business, tanning, nails, laundrette etc.
3. Slowly launder dirty money through cash business, paying all due taxes etc.
4. The end.

[Timmy35]

RSoovy4 said:

Greg_D said:

Adenauer said:

Greg, the HMRC are aware of every bank account you have, how do you know that?

See the post above yours. TBH, i wasn't in any significant trouble, it was an unused building account from the building of our house that i didn't declare when we were investigated. they specifically asked to see all the statements though and treated me like a criminal until i had satisfied them that i wasn't trying to launder a million in used notes through it.....

Associates of mine haven't been so lucky though and little 'hideaways' have been found and looted....

NEVER underestimate the reach of HMRC and C+E when it comes to getting their money out of you......

1000% this.

Once they have you in their sights, they never ever give up, and they find EVERYTHING.

And then they bullyram you.

I don't think they're that good at picking stuff up, although once in their sights they are unrelenting. Don't underestimate the extent to which they rely on disgruntled employees, ex spouses or even gossips down the pub all leading to people phoning up to dob each other in it.

[T0nup]

Ditch the case. Keep it... But...

Why not just enjoy a life with a few less money worries under the radar.

Pay the bills at the post office in cash with it. (Watch those high denominations) Pay off the creit cards, but pay them over the period of a couple of months unless you normally pay them all in one go. Buy a modest classic car (Privately) and garage it as an investment. Buy another to tinker with and use as a weekend car. (Don't get too flashy) Buy the wife some jewelary, not so expensive (Say under £1000 per item from different shops over a period of time, but will earn you brownie points. Have an excuse for where the money came from) Trade in the family car for a newer model (Keep it real) Consider home improvements. (If need be, consult a mortgage lender to make it look like you'll have to borrow. Then pay the contractors in cash on the sligh) Take the family on Holidays (Pay on the creit card, then everything else once there in cash... Just one a year, make it look like you have to save for them) If your kids have families homes and mortgages of their own, slip them a grand every now and then. (Tell them you've had a pay rise or something) Gamble a little, say on the inernet casino sites. (Handy for diguising the cash as winnings, but don't go crazy, have some fun with it. Bet responsibly) Sell the gagraged classic. (But make sure you boast a little about how much you made on it, even if you sold at a loss) Buy another, and do the same, but a slightly more expensive car. Take up a hobby. (Not too expensive now, but something that would be a good money sinc. Something to widen your social circle a little, like golf.)

Make the improvements to your life a little at a time. You have a million, there's no rush.

Put a modest amount away every few months into a savings account that the wife doesn't know about for that rainy day. Take out a retirement polcy, and lump some in every year making full use of the ISA allowance..

[Usget]

T0nup said:

Consider home improvements. (If need be, consult a mortgage lender to make it look like you'll have to borrow. Then pay the contractors in cash on the sligh)

That's a very good idea. Buy a couple of houses on BTL mortgages, pay for the improvements in cash, and sell them on with tenants in situ - your profit is your laundered money.

[vinnie83]

Birdster said:

vinnie83 said:

I doubt it would be as complex as many are making out.

I imagine (not that I know any of course) many shop owners are rolling in money that they can't put in the bank, and they manage to get it spent/in the right places without attracting attention from the tax man.

The idiots who get caught are the ones who want to be flash with the cash - like the drug dealers (low scale - high scale are far wiser I imagine).

I know someone who ended up doing 6 months because he attracted the wrong attention from the police due to his excessive lifestyle vs. his past earnings which led the police to put him under surveillance.

What made the Police look at him though? Inland Revenue, the Bank? Someone must have alerted them. Or he was already known.

Not sure. It's not something he likes to talk about. And to be honest, I'm not sure they would tell him if it were a tip off etc.

My understanding is the "too much bling? Give us a ring" campaign the police run/ran was anonymous for example, so anyone could have grassed him up.

My point is that he was flashing the cash, which led to his capture - people are jealous, and don't like to see people spending. If they can do something to stop it, they will.

If you want to be a flash git, make sure it's legit!

[woody2846]

Im sure SWMBO could spend a £1 million fairly easily in a short space of time.
I don't think I would hand it into the Police-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2487553/Ho...

[RSoovy4]

vinnie83 said:

Birdster said:

vinnie83 said:

I doubt it would be as complex as many are making out.

I imagine (not that I know any of course) many shop owners are rolling in money that they can't put in the bank, and they manage to get it spent/in the right places without attracting attention from the tax man.

The idiots who get caught are the ones who want to be flash with the cash - like the drug dealers (low scale - high scale are far wiser I imagine).

I know someone who ended up doing 6 months because he attracted the wrong attention from the police due to his excessive lifestyle vs. his past earnings which led the police to put him under surveillance.

What made the Police look at him though? Inland Revenue, the Bank? Someone must have alerted them. Or he was already known.

Not sure. It's not something he likes to talk about. And to be honest, I'm not sure they would tell him if it were a tip off etc.

My understanding is the "too much bling? Give us a ring" campaign the police run/ran was anonymous for example, so anyone could have grassed him up.

My point is that he was flashing the cash, which led to his capture - people are jealous, and don't like to see people spending. If they can do something to stop it, they will.

If you want to be a flash git, make sure it's legit!

Well there's the reason. He was flashing the cash, and when people who pay their taxes have it rubbed in their faces by people who don't, they get upset. And rightly so.

Your friend is in serious serious trouble.

[vinnie83]

RSoovy4 said:

vinnie83 said:

Birdster said:

vinnie83 said:

I doubt it would be as complex as many are making out.

I imagine (not that I know any of course) many shop owners are rolling in money that they can't put in the bank, and they manage to get it spent/in the right places without attracting attention from the tax man.

The idiots who get caught are the ones who want to be flash with the cash - like the drug dealers (low scale - high scale are far wiser I imagine).

I know someone who ended up doing 6 months because he attracted the wrong attention from the police due to his excessive lifestyle vs. his past earnings which led the police to put him under surveillance.

What made the Police look at him though? Inland Revenue, the Bank? Someone must have alerted them. Or he was already known.

Not sure. It's not something he likes to talk about. And to be honest, I'm not sure they would tell him if it were a tip off etc.

My understanding is the "too much bling? Give us a ring" campaign the police run/ran was anonymous for example, so anyone could have grassed him up.

My point is that he was flashing the cash, which led to his capture - people are jealous, and don't like to see people spending. If they can do something to stop it, they will.

If you want to be a flash git, make sure it's legit!

Well there's the reason. He was flashing the cash, and when people who pay their taxes have it rubbed in their faces by people who don't, they get upset. And rightly so.

Your friend is in serious serious trouble.

Oh this was years ago. He now runs a successful legitimate business which allows him to be a flash git legally

[Rude-boy]

DM Story said:

However, Mr Justice Lewis said the careful sorting of the notes into bundles of one denomination meant they were 'unlikely to be the profits of legitimate cash trading'.

Then your Honour, you are a fking moron and should step down.

From time to time I have reasonable size amounts of cash, pounds and Euros, as I always think it wise to have some handy (tell me that there is no chance of another Northern Rock happening and I’ll live without the pennies in interest!) and I don’t like to be at the mercy of exchange rate fluctuations all the time given that I go over the water 4 or 5 times a year. It is all sorted into bundles of notes in the same denomination.

My late Nan had a good few k in cash when she died, all neatly sorted and put away and I can assure you she wasn’t dealing in her spare time, she just didn’t like the bank having control of all her money. What does the judge expect, anyone who has £18k in cash should not have it stored neatly but thrown willy nilly into a hold all?

Don’t get me wrong, it’s highly likely that the money was/is moody and in this day and age there is no way that they would let anyone claim it if they could possibly take it off the finder but please, don’t just tell us any old bks or else we might start to wonder why you felt the need to...

[Galsia]

woody2846 said:

Im sure SWMBO could spend a £1 million fairly easily in a short space of time.
I don't think I would hand it into the Police-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2487553/Ho...

Thats the Leicester Police Christmas party paid for this year then...

[Tuvra]

Buy a few taxis and a few burger vans