Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
karound now.A chap starts work on a building site and after a few hours goes to see the foreman.
"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
Halmyre said:
A chap starts work on a building site and after a few hours goes to see the foreman.
"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
I like his style.Halmyre said:
A chap starts work on a building site and after a few hours goes to see the foreman.
"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
That's terrible"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there was a gorgeous blonde eating at the next table. He had been checking her out all night, but lacked the nerve to go talk to her.
Suddenly she sneezed and her glass eye went flying out of her socket towards the man. With his quick reflexes, he caught it in mid-air.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry," the woman said as she popped her eye back in the socket. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you."
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invited him back to her place for a drink. They went back to her house, and after a bit she brought him into the bedroom and began undressing him. The couple had wild, passionate sex many times during the night.
The next morning when he awoke, she had already got up and brought him breakfast in bed. The guy was amazed. "You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No, she replied....You just happened to catch my eye!
Suddenly she sneezed and her glass eye went flying out of her socket towards the man. With his quick reflexes, he caught it in mid-air.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry," the woman said as she popped her eye back in the socket. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you."
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invited him back to her place for a drink. They went back to her house, and after a bit she brought him into the bedroom and began undressing him. The couple had wild, passionate sex many times during the night.
The next morning when he awoke, she had already got up and brought him breakfast in bed. The guy was amazed. "You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No, she replied....You just happened to catch my eye!
Edited by GloverMart on Wednesday 21st September 16:22
Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years?
Do you smoke?
No.
Do you eat too much?
No.
Do you go to bed late?
No.
Do you have affairs with promiscuous women?
No.
Then why would you want to live more than 100 years?
A question on an internet forum:
Q: Please help, I have this great itching between my toes.
A: Well, that depends. If the itching is between all toes, consult a dermatologist. If the itching bothers you only between your two big toes, consult a gynecologist.
I forgot my cell phone when I went to the toilet yesterday. We have 245 tiles.
Do you smoke?
No.
Do you eat too much?
No.
Do you go to bed late?
No.
Do you have affairs with promiscuous women?
No.
Then why would you want to live more than 100 years?
A question on an internet forum:
Q: Please help, I have this great itching between my toes.
A: Well, that depends. If the itching is between all toes, consult a dermatologist. If the itching bothers you only between your two big toes, consult a gynecologist.
I forgot my cell phone when I went to the toilet yesterday. We have 245 tiles.
V6Pushfit said:
Halmyre said:
A chap starts work on a building site and after a few hours goes to see the foreman.
"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
That's terrible"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
Halmyre said:
V6Pushfit said:
Halmyre said:
A chap starts work on a building site and after a few hours goes to see the foreman.
"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
That's terrible"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
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