[snowy slopes]

poj said:

Just bought a Ricky Hatton toaster from Argos,its fking useless wont even do two fking rounds.

Nice one poj mate

[Shaw Tarse]

I was in the pub last night, & needed to fart.
The music was loud, so I waited for the beat & let rip.
Felt a little better, but still had wind, for the next 5 minutes I was farting to the beat, then I noticed people were staring at me.
It was at this point I remembered I was listening to my iPod

[poj]

I think Ricky Hatton has been very lucky...
The last time someone got battered around the ring that much they were found floating in Michael Barrymore's swimming pool.

[Glassman]

Shaw Tarse said:

I was in the pub last night, & needed to fart.
The music was loud, so I waited for the beat & let rip.
Felt a little better, but still had wind, for the next 5 minutes I was farting to the beat, then I noticed people were staring at me.
It was at this point I remembered I was listening to my iPod

[Vixpy1]

poj said:

I think Ricky Hatton has been very lucky...
The last time someone got battered around the ring that much they were found floating in Michael Barrymore's swimming pool.

[wagwag]

Vixpy1 said:

poj said:

I think Ricky Hatton has been very lucky...
The last time someone got battered around the ring that much they were found floating in Michael Barrymore's swimming pool.

[Smart Mart]

wagwag said:

Vixpy1 said:

poj said:

I think Ricky Hatton has been very lucky...
The last time someone got battered around the ring that much they were found floating in Michael Barrymore's swimming pool.

[JJCW]

Smart Mart said:

wagwag said:

Vixpy1 said:

poj said:

I think Ricky Hatton has been very lucky...
The last time someone got battered around the ring that much they were found floating in Michael Barrymore's swimming pool.

Pyramid!

[B16 RTT]

Not strictly a joke, but made me titter!

Edited by B16 RTT on Wednesday 6th May 11:31

[carmadgaz]

Hope its not a repost

[bridgdav]

An English ventriloquist visiting Wales walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Welshman
'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Englishman.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Welshman: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Welshman: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Welshman: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Welshman: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Welshman: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'






Welshman: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar……

[WorAl]

bridgdav said:

An English ventriloquist visiting Wales walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Welshman
'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Englishman.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Welshman: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Welshman: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Welshman: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Welshman: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Welshman: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'






Welshman: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar……

[Los Palmas 7]

WorAl said:

bridgdav said:

The one about the ventriloquist and the sheep

Ladies and gentlemen, I believe we have found the only person who has never heard that joke before.

[simonparky]

WorAl said:

bridgdav said:

An English ventriloquist visiting Wales walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Welshman
'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Englishman.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Welshman: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Welshman: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Welshman: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Welshman: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Welshman: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'






Welshman: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar……

could see where that was going from the first line :yawn:

[Los Palmas 7]

simonparky said:

could see where that was going from the first line :yawn:

But still you felt the need to quote the whole "joke". Thanks.

[190E Matt]

Time for Volume IV?

[Shaw Tarse]

190E Matt said:

Time for Volume IV?

Well maybe tomorrow about 10ish?

[190E Matt]

Shaw Tarse said:

190E Matt said:

Time for Volume IV?

Well maybe tomorrow about 10ish?

MODS!

Clap him in irons for that one!

[Shaw Tarse]

190E Matt said:

Shaw Tarse said:

190E Matt said:

Time for Volume IV?

Well maybe tomorrow about 10ish?

MODS!

Clap him in irons for that one!

What it's a repost

[Ayahuasca]

What's this?















A Mexican with a sniffle.

You wouldn't believe the sheer effort that went into this