Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
Monkeylegend said:
Halmyre said:
V6Pushfit said:
Halmyre said:
A chap starts work on a building site and after a few hours goes to see the foreman.
"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
That's terrible"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
Q: What do the Inuit get from sitting on a block of ice?
A. Polaroids.
I thought I’d tell you a good time travel joke – but you didn't like it.
Yes, I’ve lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing.
What do driving and dating have in common?
Both end up with you being chased by the police if you go too fast.
A. Polaroids.
I thought I’d tell you a good time travel joke – but you didn't like it.
Yes, I’ve lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing.
What do driving and dating have in common?
Both end up with you being chased by the police if you go too fast.
Monkeylegend said:
Halmyre said:
V6Pushfit said:
Halmyre said:
A chap starts work on a building site and after a few hours goes to see the foreman.
"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
That's terrible"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
glenrobbo said:
Monkeylegend said:
Halmyre said:
V6Pushfit said:
Halmyre said:
A chap starts work on a building site and after a few hours goes to see the foreman.
"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
That's terrible"Look here my man, my wheelbarrow has a fault. As I push it, it goes squeak...squeak...squeak..."
The foreman says "You're fired".
"For why?" asks the poor chap.
"Your wheelbarrow should be going sqeaksqeaksqeaksqeaksqeak..."
V6Pushfit said:
Monkeylegend said:
Going to fast 4U.
That's very honourable but I'm sure you needn't do anything that drastic I mean it's only a forum So is it a 4U, which would be a foru? Or is it a foruM?
I think you are just being M-pathetic.....
Paddy wants to become a priest, so he goes to see the Bishop who tells him,
"First, you must answer three questions about the Bible."
Question one, "Who was born in a stable?"
"Red Rum," replies Paddy.
Question two, "Do you know anything about Damascus?"
"It kills 99% of all known germs'" says Paddy.
Question three, "What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive?"
"Not sure about that," says Paddy, "Did Popeye kick the s
te out of them?"
"First, you must answer three questions about the Bible."
Question one, "Who was born in a stable?"
"Red Rum," replies Paddy.
Question two, "Do you know anything about Damascus?"
"It kills 99% of all known germs'" says Paddy.
Question three, "What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive?"
"Not sure about that," says Paddy, "Did Popeye kick the s
te out of them?"Pat and Mick go for a job on a building site, the big burly foreman looks at Pat and says
"What's your name"
Pat says "Pat", wollop, the foreman floors him, stares down at him and says
"Your Irish and be proud of that, you name isn't Pat, it's Patrick"
He turns to Mick and says "What's your name"
Mick says "Its Mick-Rick"
"What's your name"
Pat says "Pat", wollop, the foreman floors him, stares down at him and says
"Your Irish and be proud of that, you name isn't Pat, it's Patrick"
He turns to Mick and says "What's your name"
Mick says "Its Mick-Rick"
DMN said:
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street. Paddy falls down an open manhole. Murphy looks down and being inquisative asks his friend "Is it dark down there Paddy?"
Paddy has a look around and shouts back up "I don't know, I can't see".
"But I think I've broken my ankle, it needs some support."Paddy has a look around and shouts back up "I don't know, I can't see".
"Ankle! Ankle! Ankle!"
Vipers said:
Is it the same foreman who confused an Irish Gentleman on his site when he showed him two shovels and said "Take your pick"
No, but it was the one where the teddy bears got jobs and someone stole their picks...because...Todays the day the teddy bears have their picks nicked. Sorry.
K12beano said:
V6Pushfit said:
Monkeylegend said:
Going to fast 4U.
That's very honourable but I'm sure you needn't do anything that drastic I mean it's only a forum So is it a 4U, which would be a foru? Or is it a foruM?
I think you are just being M-pathetic.....
The foreman told the chap he got fired because he wasn't pushing the wheelbarrow fast enough.
So I said he spelt it wrong because he was going to fast for the "u" in squeak which was why he spelt it sqeak.
Everybody now thinks I am going on a fast 4 Halmyre.
I need a sit down.
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