A bit council Vol 2

[24lemons]

jamoor said:

this sort of thing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8BG90Ads3s

Oh give me strength. I'm best man at a wedding in a few weeks which is bound to have a crappy disco like that. What annoys me most is when the whole venue becomes a dance floor which means that guests who wish to do anything other than dance have to shout over the same "Now That's What I Call Generic Crappy Disco Music Vol1" mix tape being played as loud as humanly possible.

I think this post is crossing over into the Things that annoy you beyond reason thread but I really cant stand wedding discos!!!

[jamoor]

motco said:

No - there's got to be at least a fight, preferably with one or more plate glass window or door events! And where's the old biddy singing? Okay you've got blokes in skirts but that's a local 'habit'...

On a total side note, anyone wearing a kilt outside scotland's usually a total .

[nicanary]

A good wedding should always have a crappy disco (best if it's a hospital radio DJ with ideas above his station), drunken auntie trying to kiss all the lads, a wicked Uncle Ernie trying to touch up the bridesmaids, and some sort of family row resulting in tears.

The best ones are travellers, rated by how many shotguns and machetes are involved. It's a good time to resolve vendettas.

That video looks boring as feck - the wimmin are dancing like mums, and no-one's attempting breakdancing.

[jamoor]

TGI Fridays.

[INWB]

jamoor said:

TGI Fridays.

See also Nandos,

Chavtastic

[ApOrbital]

I like them both.

[chesby]

TGI Fridays - Mcdonalds with a drinks license.

[DavieW]

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-kicked-ry...

And extra Council points for coming from Ballingry.

[Mr.Fog]

Martin350 said:

motco said:

I have been known to raise my feet from the floor carrying my weight on the trolley handle, and scoot down an aisle...

When you've got to the end of the aisle to you give it a bit of a Scandy into a nice long drift, clipping the apex as you enter the adjacent aisle?

Or is it just me...

In the unlikely event that any PH'ers were in the Edinburgh Ikea store on Friday 13th of May or the Warrington branch on March 8th/Saturday 26th September I must apologise for the following:

In normal, sensible large retail outlets aisles are laid out in a simple grid pattern. Should I forget something (I do that more often these days) then I simply return to the required aisle in a calm, ho-hum fashion. It's rare that I'd rush but even then this would be done in a "running for a train with heavy luggage" brisk shuffle. Our Swedish friends however dictate that there is but one route with just the odd, well hidden short cut. So you find the shelving unit you want but then the inserts lie where you were 2 hours ago. bks to gentlemanly civility. Suddenly I'm Ken Block (or Ken Box, love that) charging at people, trolley broadside in a (dis)graceful arc, clipping that apex/soft furnishing display twisting the handle as if it were the throttle on Steve McQueen's scrambler. Imagine the "path" is in a U-shape: the cart must be a 90 degrees to the middle of the curve in order to gain maximum velocity towards the lighting department and you cannot and must not upon reaching required department then slow to search for the goods. Dump the trolley then find it minus wheels. Then return back via same tortuous route but with the satisfaction of pulling off countless overtaking moves while reminiscing of 1970's car chases.

I am 45. I should know better. And yes, I am single..

Anyhow, back on topic:

Women walking with their arms folded while gossiping; bonus point for 1 arm at 90 degrees holding a fag. Further point for (no expert on shoes, sorry) sandal things that go "slap, clack" as they shuffle along.
Faded plastic kids slides/tractors dumped in the garden.
This my be a northern thing: Saying "youse" for example "dae youse dae credit" "Whit dae youse fink". That really is nails down a blackboard for me!
Peugeot 307's
Keeping kids quiet with crisps, leaving a lovely trail of crumbs on shop floors.
Seeing X got Talent as aspirational.
Full Sky tv packages.

Love this thread and it's illustrious predecessor but often cringe when some suggestions strike quite close to home.

[Boring_Chris]

I'll drift a shopping trolley. I'm 33, and single.

Coincidence? Probably not. I didn't think it was Council, though.

[Crush]

DavieW said:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-kicked-ry...

And extra Council points for coming from Ballingry.

And daughters named Summer & Kitty

[Vocal Minority]

Boring_Chris said:

I'll drift a shopping trolley. I'm 33, and single.

Coincidence? Probably not. I didn't think it was Council, though.

I drift shopping trolleys and I'm 31 and married.

In the first thread I defended my plastic washing up bowl and by god I'll defend this

[g3org3y]

Boring_Chris said:

I'll drift a shopping trolley. I'm 33, and single.

Coincidence? Probably not. I didn't think it was Council, though.

Don't worry, it isn't.

[motco]

Boring_Chris said:

I'll drift a shopping trolley. I'm 33, and single.

Coincidence? Probably not. I didn't think it was Council, though.

No, and when I started this facet of the thread I had hoped it wasn't either!

As for turning with the axis of the trolley at right angles to the apex, that is essential with a fully loaded Tesco/Asda/Sainsbury/Waitrose/othersareavailable trolley in the carpark if said retail outlet car park has a slight slope on it - just to run it in a straight line! Crabwise!

[V8mate]

Vocal Minority said:

Boring_Chris said:

I'll drift a shopping trolley. I'm 33, and single.

Coincidence? Probably not. I didn't think it was Council, though.

I drift shopping trolleys and I'm 31 and married.

In the first thread I defended my plastic washing up bowl and by god I'll defend this

Absolutely. Everyone 'revs' them, twist-grip style, right? And makes barely-audible revving sounds?

[Boring_Chris]

Vocal Minority said:

Boring_Chris said:

I'll drift a shopping trolley. I'm 33, and single.

Coincidence? Probably not. I didn't think it was Council, though.

... and by god I'll defend this

Amen, brother!

[J4CKO]

Martin350 said:

motco said:

I have been known to raise my feet from the floor carrying my weight on the trolley handle, and scoot down an aisle...

When you've got to the end of the aisle to you give it a bit of a Scandy into a nice long drift, clipping the apex as you enter the adjacent aisle?

Or is it just me...

Nope, not just you


I do turn the anti-lag off though, dont want to get caught making the noises, that is only acceptable when you have a small child sat in the trolley.

Absolutely not council, do you know how much it costs to fully rally prep a Sainsburys trolley ?

[drivin_me_nuts]

J4CKO said:

Absolutely not council, do you know how much it costs to fully rally prep a Sainsburys trolley ?

Cheaper at Asda, but ffs don't use Lidl and Aldi as they make you cough up loads if you damage their armco.

[motco]

drivin_me_nuts said:

J4CKO said:

Absolutely not council, do you know how much it costs to fully rally prep a Sainsburys trolley ?

Cheaper at Asda, but ffs don't use Lidl and Aldi as they make you cough up loads if you damage their armco.

Costco's trolleys have castor action on one end only - makes life interesting...

[MrBarry123]

V8mate said:

Absolutely. Everyone 'revs' them, twist-grip style, right? And makes barely-audible revving sounds?

Absolutely.

There's nothing quite like hitting the rev limiter as you pass from the fresh to frozen aisle.