Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

[Sticks.]

shakotan said:

One of those jokes that only really works when spoken, as you need to emphasis on 'ME' to understand the implication. Otherwise its just a kid who never got caught masturbating by his mum. [/kitten]

True. Italics added. .

[Monkeylegend]

Sticks. said:

shakotan said:

One of those jokes that only really works when spoken, as you need to emphasis on 'ME' to understand the implication. Otherwise its just a kid who never got caught masturbating by his mum. [/kitten]

True. Italics added. .

So who did she find masturbating then?

only joking

[CanAm]

shakotan said:

Sticks. said:

Funny how things work out. I always thought my mum would catch ME masturbating.

One of those jokes that only really works when spoken, as you need to emphasis on 'ME' to understand the implication. Otherwise its just a kid who never got caught masturbating by his mum. [/kitten]

Like this perhaps?

[MartG]

[shakotan]

CanAm said:

Like this perhaps?

Better.

[jimmytheone]

[Sporky]

Superb.

[Still Mulling]

Excellent

[WrekinCrew]

Very good. Reminds me of

.

[Ultra Sound Guy]

[silverfoxcc]

was in Aldis today and noticed they have an Aldis Humpty Dumpty Easter Egg

Looked around but couldn't see

Aldis Kings Horses and Aldis KIngs men ones

[JMGS4]

silverfoxcc said:

was in Aldis today and noticed they have an Aldis Humpty Dumpty Easter Egg
Looked around but couldn't see
Aldis Kings Horses and Aldis KIngs men ones

What? And no Aldis lamps???

for all the ex-skates...

[CanAm]

JMGS4 said:

What? And no Aldis lamps???

for all the ex-skates...

[Rayny]

Here's one I haven't heard for decades :

What did the VD germ say when it got run over by a lorry?

I'm a gonner here

[CopperBolt]

Thought I'd never get over my Whack-a-mole addiction but I've finally knocked it on the head.

[GeneralBanter]

CopperBolt said:

Thought I'd never get over my Whack-a-mole addiction but I've finally knocked it on the head.

Splat The Rat, please.

[jimmytheone]

Just walked past the bookies - they had a sign on the door saying

Sunday open: 11-4

I thought, i'll have a tenner on that, they were open last sunday

[Mammasaid]

GeneralBanter said:

CopperBolt said:

Thought I'd never get over my Whack-a-mole addiction but I've finally knocked it on the head.

Splat The Rat, please.

Different games, Shirley!

[GeneralBanter]

Mammasaid said:

GeneralBanter said:

CopperBolt said:

Thought I'd never get over my Whack-a-mole addiction but I've finally knocked it on the head.

Splat The Rat, please.

Different games, Shirley!

I think they’re the same

[Sporky]

GeneralBanter said:

Mammasaid said:

GeneralBanter said:

CopperBolt said:

Thought I'd never get over my Whack-a-mole addiction but I've finally knocked it on the head.

Splat The Rat, please.

Different games, Shirley!

I think they’re the same

I think the rats and moles may disagree.