Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

Author
Discussion

CanAm

9,346 posts

274 months

Thursday 7th March
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jimmytheone

1,398 posts

220 months

Thursday 7th March
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Hapy wold bokday

Still Mulling

12,629 posts

179 months

Thursday 7th March
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What the juddering feck?! That humanity wastes its resources so just beggars belief! frown

Vipers

32,945 posts

230 months

Thursday 7th March
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GeneralBanter

893 posts

17 months

Thursday 7th March
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Vipers said:
Truth hurts.

Mammasaid

3,929 posts

99 months

Thursday 7th March
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GeneralBanter said:
Mammasaid said:
GeneralBanter said:
CopperBolt said:
Thought I'd never get over my Whack-a-mole addiction but I've finally knocked it on the head.
Splat The Rat, please.
Different games, Shirley!
I think they’re the same
No, no, no, no...

Whack-a-mole



Splat the rat


Ultra Sound Guy

28,666 posts

196 months

Thursday 7th March
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OMG my 1st night shift at Meta was an absolute nightmare, I managed to accidentally unplug the whole system for a few hours, luckily I spotted what I did & plugged it in again before anyone noticed.

PomBstard

6,846 posts

244 months

Friday 8th March
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daqinggregg

1,697 posts

131 months

Friday 8th March
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The Origins of Cat’s Eyes
British inventor named Percy Shaw came up with the idea for cat’s eyes. Shaw was a self-taught engineer with an entrepreneurial spirit, and he had a keen interest in road safety. His inspiration for cat’s eyes came from an incident in the early 1930s when he was driving along a dangerous, winding road in Yorkshire, England. Suddenly, he noticed that his car’s headlamps reflected in the eyes of a cat, resting at the side of the road. The reflection gave him a moment of clarity that ultimately led to the invention of cat’s eyes.

Had Percy seen the cat walking away, he may have also been credited with the invention of the pencil sharpener.

epom

11,664 posts

163 months

Friday 8th March
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International Womens Day today, was supposed to be yesterday but they weren't ready in time.... getmecoat

Skyedriver

18,011 posts

284 months

Friday 8th March
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daqinggregg said:
The Origins of Cat’s Eyes
British inventor named Percy Shaw came up with the idea for cat’s eyes. Shaw was a self-taught engineer with an entrepreneurial spirit, and he had a keen interest in road safety. His inspiration for cat’s eyes came from an incident in the early 1930s when he was driving along a dangerous, winding road in Yorkshire, England. Suddenly, he noticed that his car’s headlamps reflected in the eyes of a cat, resting at the side of the road. The reflection gave him a moment of clarity that ultimately led to the invention of cat’s eyes.

Had Percy seen the cat walking away, he may have also been credited with the invention of the pencil sharpener.
laugh

alfaspecial

1,139 posts

142 months

Friday 8th March
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Skyedriver said:
daqinggregg said:
The Origins of Cat’s Eyes
British inventor named Percy Shaw came up with the idea for cat’s eyes. Shaw was a self-taught engineer with an entrepreneurial spirit, and he had a keen interest in road safety. His inspiration for cat’s eyes came from an incident in the early 1930s when he was driving along a dangerous, winding road in Yorkshire, England. Suddenly, he noticed that his car’s headlamps reflected in the eyes of a cat, resting at the side of the road. The reflection gave him a moment of clarity that ultimately led to the invention of cat’s eyes.

Had Percy seen the cat walking away, he may have also been credited with the invention of the pencil sharpener.
laugh
Or the tea-towel holder.


tvrolet

4,311 posts

284 months

Friday 8th March
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daqinggregg said:
The Origins of Cat’s Eyes
British inventor named Percy Shaw came up with the idea for cat’s eyes. Shaw was a self-taught engineer with an entrepreneurial spirit, and he had a keen interest in road safety. His inspiration for cat’s eyes came from an incident in the early 1930s when he was driving along a dangerous, winding road in Yorkshire, England. Suddenly, he noticed that his car’s headlamps reflected in the eyes of a cat, resting at the side of the road. The reflection gave him a moment of clarity that ultimately led to the invention of cat’s eyes.

Had Percy seen the cat walking away, he may have also been credited with the invention of the pencil sharpener.
I heard Ken Dodd telling that one years ago. Another of his that always tickled me (see what I did there) was what a wonderful day for sticking a cucumber through your next-door neighbour’s letterbox and shouting watch out missus, the aliens have landed.

Venisonpie

3,330 posts

84 months

Friday 8th March
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An absolute cracker!


havoc

30,256 posts

237 months

Friday 8th March
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Venisonpie said:
An absolute cracker!

I have to wonder how they can lie with such straight faces. Do they get training? Did Boris do a Postgraduate course in it?


...or is it that they're working in such a fact-free environment that they don't even realise they're talking utter ste? A sort of Dunning Kruger squared.

trumpton7291

200 posts

5 months

Friday 8th March
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Venisonpie said:
An absolute cracker!

Don’t get it.

Or is it just more dull, bitter remoaner ‘humour’ ?

GloverMart

11,885 posts

217 months

Friday 8th March
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epom said:
International Womens Day today, was supposed to be yesterday but they weren't ready in time.... getmecoat
I'll be glad when it's all over, I'm getting hungry here!

GeneralBanter

893 posts

17 months

Saturday 9th March
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trumpton7291 said:
Don’t get it.

Or is it just more dull, bitter remoaner ‘humour’ ?
A true headline for once.

OddCat

2,605 posts

173 months

Saturday 9th March
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PomBstard said:
Surely this only works if the salesman is Chinese ?

Perhaps he identifies as Chinese ?

Sporky

6,472 posts

66 months

Saturday 9th March
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I thought he was treating the buyer as an idiot.