Caught peeing in the kettle.
Discussion
Zetec-S said:
Could be worse, a colleague staying in a hotel a couple of months ago got into bed to find the mattress was soaking wet. Previous guest had wet the bed, but housekeeping either didn't notice or didn't care, so just changed the sheets... 
Back in the days of working away from home with a crew of guys and the inevitable booze sessions we were bunking down in b&b three to a room.I never knew so many grown men pissed the bed and became quite used to it.
Anyway....
One night after the pub someone got in along side me (I had a double),so thinking one of the lads had pissed his bed I barely gave it any notice.
Until....
A warm.sensation awoke me!
I jumped out of that bed so fast and flicked on the light only to find a complete stranger had got into my bed and pissed himself!!!
Turned out he was in the 'right room' but on the wrong floor!
That took some explaining to the landlady the next morning I tell ya!
(He admitted it when identified by the colour of his piss strewn underwear!)
Zetec-S said:
Could be worse, a colleague staying in a hotel a couple of months ago got into bed to find the mattress was soaking wet. Previous guest had wet the bed, but housekeeping either didn't notice or didn't care, so just changed the sheets...
That used to be a regular occurrence when I looked after our engineers travel arrangements. There was a standard £100 charge from one particular chain which would pop up on the bills occasionally. One chap thought he would solve his moist mattress problem by throwing it out of the window before he checked out 
Zetec-S said:
Could be worse, a colleague staying in a hotel a couple of months ago got into bed to find the mattress was soaking wet. Previous guest had wet the bed, but housekeeping either didn't notice or didn't care, so just changed the sheets...
...and you believed his story? "The previous guest must have done it".
Yeah, right!
Similar to the pissing in the kettle thing.......
Now that nights are colder I wear bed socks.
Now that I am older prostrate troubles of the last decades means I get up in the night to pee.
I'm a heavy sleeper, so bump off to the bathroom and sit on the loo semi asleep to let my bladder do it's business.
This does wake the wife up whom for the last few years has got to the age when she needs to go in the night as well. Cue, many months ago "I didn't like it when you left the seat up and there was pee on the toilet bowl rim under the seat, but now you leave the seat down it is nicely warmed, but you leave pee drops on it when you stand".
Last night she confided. "if you're going to pee sitting down at night, and leave the last dribbles on the seat, can you pleas stop cleaning them up. I'll do it with loo roll when I need a pee". Apparently in my sleepy daze in these colder months, I've been using my footed thermal bed socks to clean pee drops off the rim and then wandered along the landing back to bed with pee smelly socks!
Age. Creeps up on us all.
Now that nights are colder I wear bed socks.
Now that I am older prostrate troubles of the last decades means I get up in the night to pee.
I'm a heavy sleeper, so bump off to the bathroom and sit on the loo semi asleep to let my bladder do it's business.
This does wake the wife up whom for the last few years has got to the age when she needs to go in the night as well. Cue, many months ago "I didn't like it when you left the seat up and there was pee on the toilet bowl rim under the seat, but now you leave the seat down it is nicely warmed, but you leave pee drops on it when you stand".
Last night she confided. "if you're going to pee sitting down at night, and leave the last dribbles on the seat, can you pleas stop cleaning them up. I'll do it with loo roll when I need a pee". Apparently in my sleepy daze in these colder months, I've been using my footed thermal bed socks to clean pee drops off the rim and then wandered along the landing back to bed with pee smelly socks!
Age. Creeps up on us all.
A stray cat pissed in my toaster once!
We lived in Cyprus at the time and had left a window open without the shutters or fly screens shut and a mangey stray cat wandered in the kitchen window and must have pissed on the toaster whilst wandering along the worktop.
I found out after trying to make toast. The smell was the worst smell I have ever ever smelt and I can remember it to this day! Worse than anything my 3 kids ever produced in their nappys. The tell tale was the sticky yellow residue in the crumb tray.
So yep, burnt cats piss. Not nice.
We lived in Cyprus at the time and had left a window open without the shutters or fly screens shut and a mangey stray cat wandered in the kitchen window and must have pissed on the toaster whilst wandering along the worktop.
I found out after trying to make toast. The smell was the worst smell I have ever ever smelt and I can remember it to this day! Worse than anything my 3 kids ever produced in their nappys. The tell tale was the sticky yellow residue in the crumb tray.
So yep, burnt cats piss. Not nice.
A couple of weeks back, Mrs Ructions was giving me grief about one thing or other, in fairness she doesn't complain much, but she must have had a good reason. Anyway, I may have accidently p'eed in her whiskey. I may have drunkenly admitted to it tonight.
In my defence it was Bushmills, Protestant Whiskey, no one whould know the difference.
In my defence it was Bushmills, Protestant Whiskey, no one whould know the difference.
CanAm said:
It might have been earlier in this thread (no time or inclination to check 30 pages) but I did come across this tip from a female traveller:- "Boil your dirty knickers in the hotel kettle; it gets them much cleaner than hot water from the tap."
Its in here somewhere also about putting menstruation knickers in the kettle to boil for the same reason .... CanAm said:
It might have been earlier in this thread (no time or inclination to check 30 pages) but I did come across this tip from a female traveller:- "Boil your dirty knickers in the hotel kettle; it gets them much cleaner than hot water from the tap."
I feel like I heard this years ago and haven't used a hotel kettle since! (Just in case)
Our cat shat in the ornamental fountain that had been turned off after we moved it from one location to another.
"Poo" was removed by bag a la shameful "Ihaveachilddogthangthatihavetopickpooupfromifspotted" manner and disposed of via conventional all waste bin. Cat was obviously confused then for a few days as it could smell it's own poo but not bury any further smell from the remaining residue in the bowl of the fountain.
Note to self. When recommissioning water fountains with 3000L/hr pumps, with cat at in fountain structure, record it, could make money on Youtube. Meeeoooowwosplashooooops.
"Poo" was removed by bag a la shameful "Ihaveachilddogthangthatihavetopickpooupfromifspotted" manner and disposed of via conventional all waste bin. Cat was obviously confused then for a few days as it could smell it's own poo but not bury any further smell from the remaining residue in the bowl of the fountain.
Note to self. When recommissioning water fountains with 3000L/hr pumps, with cat at in fountain structure, record it, could make money on Youtube. Meeeoooowwosplashooooops.
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