Simple things you just can't do

[cheesejunkie]

Spare tyre said:

Run for more than 1/4 a mile

I can cycle all day long, walk 30 miles without breaking a sweat, I simply just can’t really run

My wife can’t tap / clap in time to music

If you hear a band and people are clapping along, she is clapping but like a seal that has been hit by a truck on the m25 just after it got electrocuted

You say “look at everyone else’s hands, why are yours not at the same time” she just looks like you told her the kettle in the kitchen is her mum

I'm laughing. I'm with your wife. My wife has rhythm and understands music, I just pretend to like it. We met on a dance floor by the way.

On the cycling vs running point. I used to think like that. I could cycle 100 miles but not run five. I no longer cycle and can easily run all day, I even find myself finding walks boring and stepping into a running pace if I'm on my own. I've realised it's all about specifity of training. I'm 100% confident you could run.

[vixen1700]

Funny people say they're bad with faces, I seem to be the complete opposite and can recognise people very well both after meeting them briefly and from a long time ago. Saw a bloke I hadn't seen since junior school (1978) on The Chase recently and recognised him and named him instantly.

Agree about wrapping presents though, I'm worse than shocking for that.

[snuffy]

cheesejunkie said:

I can spot every mistake in someone else's typing but can never see them in my own.

Which is rather the point of proof readers !

[snuffy]

Kuwahara said:

Clingfilm, it always ends up a complete mess..

But that's everyone, not just you.

[98elise]

I know someone who can't tie a tie. He worked in and office and was fairly senior in a highly technical job. This was when ties were the norm.

[cheesejunkie]

snuffy said:

Which is rather the point of proof readers !

Indeed.

I frequently send documents out for review before sending them to customers. Most of them have a six figure price tag on the end. I've come to realise how few actually read them.

I can take that two ways. Self congratulatory opinion is that they trust me to have things correct in the document. More realistic one is that they're lazy and expecting me to do the work. Reality is somewhere in the middle.

[Mont Blanc]

I cannot do DIY of any description, no matter how simple. Such as painting a wall.

If I attempt anything it just ends up a total mess. So I don't bother, and haven't done for many years. I just pay other people to do it, and my life is greatly improved by this. I don't even do any gardening or own any gardening equipment or lawnmower, I just have a gardener.

[Deranged Rover]

I can't tie any knot more complicated than a granny knot

I cannot light a fire.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

LastPoster said:

Skip with a rope

Nope, me neither. I spend a lot of time at the gym, I'm not unfit or inactive, but I've just never got it. My wife is far less sporty than me and she can skip easily, as can my two adult sons.

[CivicDuties]

Mont Blanc said:

I cannot do DIY of any description, no matter how simple. Such as painting a wall.

If I attempt anything it just ends up a total mess. So I don't bother, and haven't done for many years. I just pay other people to do it, and my life is greatly improved by this. I don't even do any gardening or own any gardening equipment or lawnmower, I just have a gardener.

Yeah, gardening is a great one. I touch a plant, it dies.

[Cotty]

Sleep in a comfortable position.

[Monkeylegend]

Cotty said:

Sleep in a comfortable position.

That sounds like you never sleep.

[Xenoous]

Spare tyre said:

Run for more than 1/4 a mile

I can cycle all day long, walk 30 miles without breaking a sweat, I simply just can’t really run

I'm the same. I did start couch to 5k last year and that improved things somewhat, but never completed it. I cycle fairly regularly. My commute is 11 miles each way, and can manage it without too much of an issue, but running.... No.

[Quhet]

I've never been able to do a forward roll.

[Monkeylegend]

I have never been able to whistle using my fingers in my mouth.

[cheesejunkie]

Cotty said:

Sleep in a comfortable position.

That's an interesting one. I read loads of books and listen to many podcasts about sleep and how it's great.

I have no idea what my natural sleeping position is. I keep trying to tell myself to make a note of what way I was lying when I zonk out. I never manage it. So I occasionally spend sleepless nights trying to find the position.

[Sycamore]

Whistle properly.

Every now and then I'll somehow do it perfectly and every dog within 5 miles will be sat there going what the fk was that noise?!

The rest of the time, pffft, pffff, pwuuuuu.

[Fastchas]

Read a legal document. I just give up.

[98elise]

Read the word "Hyperbole".

I know how it's spelt and know how its pronounced. When it appears in print I just read it as hyper-bowl.

[sunnygym]

Paint walls / ceilings - most of it end up on my clothes, hands then I end up spreading it about by touching things or stepping in blobs of wet paint and walking around the house and if I do end up finishing the job the finish is st as with drips and runs