What is cheating?

[RobM77]

dugt said:

If you wouldn't do it in front of her back, don't do it behind her back.

That's basically the crux of my argument.

Plus, if someone's in this situation in the first place then maybe there's something wrong with their relationship that needs sorting?

[onomatopoeia]

blindswelledrat said:

RobM77 said:

Cheating is doing something that your partner isn't happy with - that's all there is to it.

I love the chess comment above

COmpletely disagree.
That only applies if your partner has a completely level-head and yours/her opinions of what is acceptable are identical.
What if, for example, your partner hates you merely talking to another woman?
Assuming, for a moment, that you like her, and this insanity alone isn't enough to make you leave her.

Bad assumption. I cannot imagine liking anyone enough to put up with that level of insanity. Actually I can't imagine liking someone at all if they thought it was acceptable behaviour to try to drive a wedge between friends.

[RobM77]

onomatopoeia said:

blindswelledrat said:

RobM77 said:

Cheating is doing something that your partner isn't happy with - that's all there is to it.

I love the chess comment above

COmpletely disagree.
That only applies if your partner has a completely level-head and yours/her opinions of what is acceptable are identical.
What if, for example, your partner hates you merely talking to another woman?
Assuming, for a moment, that you like her, and this insanity alone isn't enough to make you leave her.

Bad assumption. I cannot imagine liking anyone enough to put up with that level of insanity. Actually I can't imagine liking someone at all if they thought it was acceptable behaviour to try to drive a wedge between friends.

It's very common though, and with any partner you have to take the rough with the smooth - nobody's perfect.

[Romanymagic]

Poledriver said:

Romanymagic said:

Need to go off and think about this, have a sleep and come back to you tomorrow, awake and sober and then, and only then will I figure out a way to be both honest to you and to my wife, oops!

Too late, she's already seen your response!

[Neil H]

becksW said:

Kiss on cheek and matey hug both fine, sharing bed to sleep, not sure, think that'd be ok. The rest no, to me they are intimacies that should not be shared with others if already in a relationship.

However I'd also get a bit peeved if other half appeared besotted by another, even if not intimate with them.

I'm not a paricularly jealous person, yet I'm aware this response may seem to show otherwise!

Spot on IMHO.

The sleeping thing sounds innocent enough, but I probably wouldn't be happy if my missus shared a bed with a bloke 'just to sleep'.

[ali_kat]

dugt said:

If you wouldn't do it in front of her back, don't do it behind her back.

Short, simple, to the point

[ali_kat]

8 Think a peck on the cheek is cheating

6 think a hug is


I pity your poor partners - actually I'm betting they are single

[rudecherub]

blindswelledrat said:

rudecherub said:

that's giving someone else your heart ie switching your emotional attachment, seeking emotional support, confiding in, and seeking advice about important and personal matters, the other things are pretty meaningless as stand alone events.
.

Ludicrous.
None of those are cheating, or even possible.
Give someone your heart? Never heard such bks in my life.
If my wife said to me- "Oh, I gave my heart to Bob next door" I would laugh and reply "Oh you are a silly lesbian sometimes".
Whereas if she said to me " Last night I sucked Bob off and let him bum me" then I would reply, somewhat curtly, "You cheating slag. Get out and take your slut tits with you".

LOL you really think a casual sexual encounter is more threatening to your relationship than a deep seated emotional attachment?

Do you think that say 20 mins of sex is the same as someone emotionally and mentally committing to some one?

Put this way did you marry your wife because she gave you a blow job and took you from behind? Or did you commit to her because of a deep seated emotional attachment?

Talking about kissing, hugs, or sex acts is like saying is getting chicken pox is just about the spots, these events are symptoms of a problem - not the problem itself.

[Cock Womble 7]

ali_kat said:

dugt said:

If you wouldn't do it in front of her back, don't do it behind her back.

Short, simple, to the point

And doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

"In front of her back"?

[Cock Womble 7]

rudecherub said:

20 mins of sex

Twenty minutes?

[Romanymagic]

ali_kat said:

dugt said:

If you wouldn't do it in front of her back, don't do it behind her back.

Short, simple, to the point

yep agree with that.

[rudecherub]

Glassman said:

I think it is man's natural instinct to assess the 'would I' factor at some point, when he meets a woman for the first time.

Over the years, I have come to realise that a lot of wiminz assess men this way even more so.

It is, and men's cheating tends to be defined by physical encounters and short term infatuations because we're hard wired that way, men actually fall in 'love' actually limerence more quickly and easily than women, and will suffer more because their feelings are more intense in an early relationship if the woman ends it, she will feel less, because she is less invested.

However once she invests emotionally in a relationship it is usually to the exclusion of anyone else. This again is evolutionary sound, a woman seeks to engage a man to protect her while she is handicapped by pregnancy and a dependent child - and this is the origin of the 7 now usually 5 year itch.

Men can however more easily switch between 'loves' and love more than one woman, again evolutionary advantage to inseminate as many women as possible.

If you are a guy you need to worry about your woman's emotional relationship with another man.

As a woman you need to be concerned where he is getting his kicks.

viva le difference

[Poledriver]

onomatopoeia said:

Bad assumption. I cannot imagine liking anyone enough to put up with that level of insanity. Actually I can't imagine liking someone at all if they thought it was acceptable behaviour to try to drive a wedge between friends.

That's me up the creek then!

Edited by Poledriver on Monday 26th July 12:58

[JuniorD]

Cock Womble 7 said:

ali_kat said:

dugt said:

If you wouldn't do it in front of her back, don't do it behind her back.

Short, simple, to the point

And doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

"In front of her back"?

Craig Bellamy said:

"He [Souness] has just gone behind my back in front of my face."

[Cock Womble 7]

Neil H said:

Spot on IMHO.

The sleeping thing sounds innocent enough, but I probably wouldn't be happy if my missus shared a bed with a bloke 'just to sleep'.

So, you're completely contradicting yourself in one handy sentence.

There's nothing innocent about a male and a female sharing a bed "just to sleep".

Maybe it's just me, but if some bird invited me to share a bed "just to sleep", she'd be getting the sex, one way or another.

[Justayellowbadge]

Cock Womble 7 said:

Maybe it's just me, but if some bird invited me to share a bed "just to sleep", she'd be getting the sex, one way or another.

That could be construed as a touch, well, rapey.

[JuniorD]

Is it cheating when you keep putting your Wolfrace Sonic card at the top of your deck of Top Trump cards? 6 wheels (and two engines!) beats everything - but she never once twigged on!

[Neil H]

Cock Womble 7 said:

Neil H said:

Spot on IMHO.

The sleeping thing sounds innocent enough, but I probably wouldn't be happy if my missus shared a bed with a bloke 'just to sleep'.

So, you're completely contradicting yourself in one handy sentence.

There's nothing innocent about a male and a female sharing a bed "just to sleep".

Maybe it's just me, but if some bird invited me to share a bed "just to sleep", she'd be getting the sex, one way or another.

I meant that it sounds innocent to call it 'just sleeping', but almost certainly wouldn't be; hence my objection.

[blindswelledrat]

rudecherub said:

LOL you really think a casual sexual encounter is more threatening to your relationship than a deep seated emotional attachment?

Do you think that say 20 mins of sex is the same as someone emotionally and mentally committing to some one?

Put this way did you marry your wife because she gave you a blow job and took you from behind? Or did you commit to her because of a deep seated emotional attachment?

Talking about kissing, hugs, or sex acts is like saying is getting chicken pox is just about the spots, these events are symptoms of a problem - not the problem itself.

I honestly don't understand a single word you are saying.
Are you a woman or some kind of gay?
You appear to be suggesting that my wife talking to a person is somehow worse for me than her sucking them off?
I've got news for you love/mate. It really isn't.
If she talks to someone else about boring emotiony stuff then it saves me having to listen to her. Its win/win.
In fact, if I find out about such a person I will build an annex to our house and he can move in.

Edited by blindswelledrat on Monday 26th July 13:10

[Justayellowbadge]

blindswelledrat said:

rudecherub said:

LOL you really think a casual sexual encounter is more threatening to your relationship than a deep seated emotional attachment?

Do you think that say 20 mins of sex is the same as someone emotionally and mentally committing to some one?

Put this way did you marry your wife because she gave you a blow job and took you from behind? Or did you commit to her because of a deep seated emotional attachment?

Talking about kissing, hugs, or sex acts is like saying is getting chicken pox is just about the spots, these events are symptoms of a problem - not the problem itself.

I honestly don't understand a single word you are saying.
Are you a woman or some kind of gay?
You appear to be suggesting that my wife talking to a person is somehow worse for me than her sucking them off?
I've got news for you love/mate. It really isn't.
If she talks to someone else about boring emotiony stuff then it saves me having to listen to her. Its win/win.
In fact, if I find out about such a person I will build an annex to our house and he can move in.

It's the concept of having married your wife because she takes you from behind that I find the most arousing troubling.