Who's 30+ and has no kids through choice?
Discussion
csd19 said:
Carry on saying "no" and I risk losing my wife
Genuinely surprised that people don't discuss this before getting married? ETA: (actually reads thread) it seems you did, but your missus is now possibly expecting you to have changed your mind. Gotcha - ouch. My missus, then girlfriend, in a Barcelona hotel room on her birthday, somewhat miffed that my 'long-weekend treat in the sun' had been bigged up by her mates as 'he's definitely going to propose' had a few tears as to the absence of any diamonds/down on one knee action.
Me: "Err, well I'd like to, and TBH I have been thinking about it, but we've not discussed stuff like sprogs yet. Don't you think we should?"
I worked with a couple once, lived together for 8 years, got married. On honeymoon she says "we can start trying for a family now", he goes, "Hmmm, don't think so, never planned on having any" .... cue messy expensive divorce within 8 months.
Edited by PurpleTurtle on Friday 22 May 15:17
PurpleTurtle said:
csd19 said:
Carry on saying "no" and I risk losing my wife
I worked with a couple once, lived together for 8 years, got married. On honeymoon she says "we can start trying for a family now", he goes, "Hmmm, don't think so, never planned on having any" .... cue messy expensive divorce within 8 months. Edited by PurpleTurtle on Friday 22 May 15:17
It's not a particularly fair set of choices. Keep t'wife happy and end up with a sprog I'm not interested in for the next 18 years min (not to mention the cost
![mad](/inc/images/mad.gif)
b
![](/inc/images/censored.gif)
csd19 said:
PurpleTurtle said:
csd19 said:
Carry on saying "no" and I risk losing my wife
I worked with a couple once, lived together for 8 years, got married. On honeymoon she says "we can start trying for a family now", he goes, "Hmmm, don't think so, never planned on having any" .... cue messy expensive divorce within 8 months. Edited by PurpleTurtle on Friday 22 May 15:17
It's not a particularly fair set of choices. Keep t'wife happy and end up with a sprog I'm not interested in for the next 18 years min (not to mention the cost
![mad](/inc/images/mad.gif)
b
![](/inc/images/censored.gif)
Timmy40 said:
You may find ( as I did ) that when that little ball of muck emerges from your wifes front passage there's a sort of emotional switch you never knew you have that goes off and suddenly you love that baby more deeply than you ever imagined, I had to feign interest all through my wifes first pregnancy. I had no feelings what so ever for the baby, until the second it was born. It was like an emotional bomb going off.
or he may not find thatpork911 said:
Timmy40 said:
You may find ( as I did ) that when that little ball of muck emerges from your wifes front passage there's a sort of emotional switch you never knew you have that goes off and suddenly you love that baby more deeply than you ever imagined, I had to feign interest all through my wifes first pregnancy. I had no feelings what so ever for the baby, until the second it was born. It was like an emotional bomb going off.
or he may not find that![](/inc/images/censored.gif)
csd19 said:
pork911 said:
Timmy40 said:
You may find ( as I did ) that when that little ball of muck emerges from your wifes front passage there's a sort of emotional switch you never knew you have that goes off and suddenly you love that baby more deeply than you ever imagined, I had to feign interest all through my wifes first pregnancy. I had no feelings what so ever for the baby, until the second it was born. It was like an emotional bomb going off.
or he may not find that![](/inc/images/censored.gif)
Even when he's going apes
![](/inc/images/censored.gif)
![](/inc/images/censored.gif)
I think the key is to make sure you do all (or most of) the things you can't do when you've got a kid before you have one, so you don't regret/resent it. There's a big element of FOMO - fear of missing out - I was certainly like that, I wasn't 'ready' to have one until I was 41, which most would consider old to be a first time dad.
PurpleTurtle said:
I wasn't 'ready' to have one until I was 41, which most would consider old to be a first time dad.
I wasn't ready ever until I was 42! Even then I was reluctant to become a parent. Big changes certainly but, my boys ( now men ) keep me young at heart and in limb. That's a bonus. Do I feel I missed out on stuff as a result of becoming a parent late in life.... not much and the negatives far outweighed by the positives. Despite the huge age gap, my sons are more like mates than sons....
As said - tried, lots of IVF, resigned to it and now looking forward to early retirement - however, this breaks my heart...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3091348/So...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3091348/So...
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff