Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[Dilligaf10]

Is this all organ-ised?

[Monkeylegend]

Harp at you lot, we need jokes.

[Laurel Green]

A harp walked into a bar - twang!

[davhill]

I had to rush home. Went Chopin but forgot my Liszt.

[silverfoxcc]

I went chopin in the veg section and then suddenly

The Beethoven to view

On my way out there was some graffiti drawn by a jewish chap i looked at it and thought

Moes Art

[omniflow]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can we have a separate thread for puns in response to jokes, and keep this thread purely for jokes. Then I can totally ignore the puns thread, and only bother to read the jokes thread.

[Dilligaf10]

omniflow said:

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can we have a separate thread for puns in response to jokes, and keep this thread purely for jokes. Then I can totally ignore the puns thread, and only bother to read the jokes thread.

It'll take time for that to happen, you'll have to drum it in!

[Laurel Green]

How do you tell if the stage is level?
The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.

How can you tell a drummer's at the door?
The knocking speeds up.

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
"Hey, how about we try one of my songs?"

An Indian chief and a cavalry captain climb to the top of a tall hill and look out upon the entire Indian tribe. The captain says worriedly, "I don't like the sound of those drums." The chief says, "I know. It's not our regular drummer."

[ChemicalChaos]

davhill said:

I had to rush home. Went Chopin but forgot my Liszt.

Will you be Bach soon?

[PoleDriver]

ChemicalChaos said:

davhill said:

I had to rush home. Went Chopin but forgot my Liszt.

Will you be Bach soon?

Is that your real name, or are you using a Sibelius?

[simoid]

Why do you always find drummers standing in doorways? They don't know when to come in.

What's the difference between a drummer and a trampoline? Take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

[Vipers]

Mexico has just announced it is going to build a ladder.

[Laurel Green]

An amateur drummer died and went to heaven. He was waiting outside the pearly gates when he heard the most incredible fast and furious drumming coming from within.

Immediately he recognized the playing and rushed to ask St. Peter if that was Buddy Rich playing drums inside the gates. St. Peter responded: "No, that's God. He just thinks he's Buddy Rich."

[glenrobbo]

Badoom-tish! And Vipers comes in right on cue!
Impeccable timing!

[Evangelion]

How do you know when there's a singer at the door?

He doesn't know when to come in, and can never find the right key.

(I hate singers. Don't get me started.)

[Vipers]

glenrobbo said:

Badoom-tish! And Vipers comes in right on cue!
Impeccable timing!

[JustinF]

omniflow said:

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can we have a separate thread for puns in response to jokes, and keep this thread purely for jokes. Then I can totally ignore the puns thread, and only bother to read the jokes thread.

I think you'll find a lack of symphony for your position.

[davhill]

JustinF said:

I think you'll find a lack of symphony for your position.

Relax Omniflow, it's a minor problem.

[NoNeed]

JustinF said:

omniflow said:

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can we have a separate thread for puns in response to jokes, and keep this thread purely for jokes. Then I can totally ignore the puns thread, and only bother to read the jokes thread.

I think you'll find a lack of symphony for your position.

It sounds like he wants us all to dance to his tune.

[Gargamel]

NoNeed said:

JustinF said:

omniflow said:

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can we have a separate thread for puns in response to jokes, and keep this thread purely for jokes. Then I can totally ignore the puns thread, and only bother to read the jokes thread.

I think you'll find a lack of symphony for your position.

It sounds like he wants us all to dance to his tune.

It struck a chord with me

sorry to chime in