Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[davhill]

StevieBee said:

Ah, belly laughs.

[B'stard Child]

Ayahuasca said:

Hmmmmm, I got banned for posting that some years back.

Good luck.

Was it posted in a previous incarnation of this thread?

[cookmysock]

bridgland said:

Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?

Tequila!!!!!

how many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?
just Juan

[vx220]

mickk said:

A Scotsman and his wife walk past a swanky new restaurant "Did you smell that food?" she asked "It smells absolutely incredible!"

Being a 'kind hearted Scotsmen' he thought what the hell, I'll treat her!

So they walked past it again.

My new boss is Scottish, keep them coming, he loves it!

[Shoegrip]

evil len said:

These are more liberal times.

I don't know, some would think it's a slippery slope.

[evil len]

schmunk said:

Pffffft - that's the best joke on this thread...

Thank you

[Vipers]

vx220 said:

mickk said:

A Scotsman and his wife walk past a swanky new restaurant "Did you smell that food?" she asked "It smells absolutely incredible!"

Being a 'kind hearted Scotsmen' he thought what the hell, I'll treat her!

So they walked past it again.

My new boss is Scottish, keep them coming, he loves it!

Old Scottish joke spoken in a Glaswegian accent.

Man getting out his John Thomas.

Look at this hen.

I canna look, it's gruesome.

Look again, its grew some more.

[glenrobbo]

Vipers said:

Old Scottish joke spoken in a Glaswegian accent.

Man getting out his John Thomas.

Look at this hen.

I canna look, it's gruesome.

Look again, its grew some more.

Vipers, why would he call his hen "John Thomas?"

Don't you mean "Look at this cock."?

You're welcome, please carry on.

[Fluffsri]

glenrobbo said:

Vipers said:

Old Scottish joke spoken in a Glaswegian accent.

Man getting out his John Thomas.

Look at this hen.

I canna look, it's gruesome.

Look again, its grew some more.

Vipers, why would he call his hen "John Thomas?"

Don't you mean "Look at this cock."?

You're welcome, please carry on.

Hen is Glaswegian for Female.

[Doofus]

Fluffsri said:

glenrobbo said:

Vipers said:

Old Scottish joke spoken in a Glaswegian accent.

Man getting out his John Thomas.

Look at this hen.

I canna look, it's gruesome.

Look again, its grew some more.

Vipers, why would he call his hen "John Thomas?"

Don't you mean "Look at this cock."?

You're welcome, please carry on.

Hen is Glaswegian for Female.

I think maybe it should have been a parrot.

[K12beano]

Doofus said:

Fluffsri said:

glenrobbo said:

Vipers said:

Old Scottish joke spoken in a Glaswegian accent.

Man getting out his John Thomas.

Look at this hen.

I canna look, it's gruesome.

Look again, its grew some more.

Vipers, why would he call his hen "John Thomas?"

Don't you mean "Look at this cock."?

You're welcome, please carry on.

Hen is Glaswegian for Female.

I think maybe it should have been a parrot.

[Doofus]

K12beano said:

Doofus said:

Fluffsri said:

glenrobbo said:

Vipers said:

Old Scottish joke spoken in a Glaswegian accent.

Man getting out his John Thomas.

Look at this hen.

I canna look, it's gruesome.

Look again, its grew some more.

Vipers, why would he call his hen "John Thomas?"

Don't you mean "Look at this cock."?

You're welcome, please carry on.

Hen is Glaswegian for Female.

I think maybe it should have been a parrot.

Gruesome indeed...

[Monkeylegend]

Doofus said:

Fluffsri said:

glenrobbo said:

Vipers said:

Old Scottish joke spoken in a Glaswegian accent.

Man getting out his John Thomas.

Look at this hen.

I canna look, it's gruesome.

Look again, its grew some more.

Vipers, why would he call his hen "John Thomas?"

Don't you mean "Look at this cock."?

You're welcome, please carry on.

Hen is Glaswegian for Female.

I think maybe it should have been a parrot.

Or a cockatoo.

[Muntu]

What is hairy with five fingers?












A Thalidomide's armpit!

[McAndy]

Muntu said:

What is hairy with five fingers?

A Thalidomide's armpit!

[Fluffsri]

McAndy said:

Muntu said:

What is hairy with five fingers?

A Thalidomide's armpit!

I reckon Im on that train as well!

[Doofus]

If you're going straight down, you won't need a train. A few rocks in your pockets should do.

[oxford drinker]

Just found out that today is international women's day. It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready.

[Vipers]

Fluffsri said:

glenrobbo said:

Vipers said:

Old Scottish joke spoken in a Glaswegian accent.

Man getting out his John Thomas.

Look at this hen.

I canna look, it's gruesome.

Look again, its grew some more.

Vipers, why would he call his hen "John Thomas?"

Don't you mean "Look at this cock."?

You're welcome, please carry on.

Hen is Glaswegian for Female.

Thank god for that

[grumpy52]