Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

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Funkycoldribena

7,379 posts

156 months

Tuesday 18th November 2014
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Evangelion said:
I see on the news that the inventor of predictive text has just died.

His funfair will be holed on sundial.
Twice in two pages?

K12beano

20,854 posts

277 months

Tuesday 18th November 2014
quotequote all
Funkycoldribena said:
Evangelion said:
I see on the news that the inventor of predictive text has just died.

His funfair will be holed on sundial.
Twice in two pages?
You couldn't see that coming?


In using my time machine I can predict a new punchline in the next week, although I can't be too certain


Ronnie Heisenburg

Tycho

11,672 posts

275 months

Tuesday 18th November 2014
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dxg said:
Jonboy_t said:
Just going to try out my new time travel machine. Will report back soon with findings.
You should have waited longer to post the reply...

I've already proven that mine works. I'm just waiting for the archeologists to find out.
I'm already bored with my time machine, and I've only had it a year.
Probably won't bother getting it.

Evangelion

7,788 posts

180 months

Tuesday 18th November 2014
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Just don't be tempted to go back and try to persuade yourself not to buy it, you'll only incur the wrath of Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

Halmyre

11,306 posts

141 months

Tuesday 18th November 2014
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Evangelion said:
Just don't be tempted to go back and try to persuade yourself not to buy it, you'll only incur the wrath of Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
He's not real, you know...

Jasandjules

70,012 posts

231 months

Tuesday 18th November 2014
quotequote all
Evangelion said:
Just don't be tempted to go back and try to persuade yourself not to buy it, you'll only incur the wrath of Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Depends, does it look like something Elton John would drive through the Everglades?

cjb1

2,000 posts

153 months

Tuesday 18th November 2014
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The last two speeding tickets I got were both for 88mph, nothing happened, I didn't go back to the future?I don't think my flux capacitor is wired up correctly Doc Emmett?

Vocal Minority

8,582 posts

154 months

Tuesday 18th November 2014
quotequote all
Evangelion said:
Walking round a supermarket, a young woman caught sight of someone stacking boxes of washing powder on the shelves. She recognised him as the young man who'd chatted her up in the pub the night before, taken her home and had his wicked way with her.

She strode angrily up to him. "You bloody liar!" she yelled, "Last night you told me you were a stunt pilot!"

"No I didn't," he said. "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team!"
With all the time travel nonsense, this has missed out on the credit it deserved

LordHaveMurci

12,047 posts

171 months

Tuesday 18th November 2014
quotequote all
Vocal Minority said:
Evangelion said:
Walking round a supermarket, a young woman caught sight of someone stacking boxes of washing powder on the shelves. She recognised him as the young man who'd chatted her up in the pub the night before, taken her home and had his wicked way with her.

She strode angrily up to him. "You bloody liar!" she yelled, "Last night you told me you were a stunt pilot!"

"No I didn't," he said. "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team!"
With all the time travel nonsense, this has missed out on the credit it deserved
This is partly what started the time traveller nonsense wink

Monkey boy 1

2,063 posts

233 months

Tuesday 18th November 2014
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I tried to download the new Band-Aid song to raise money for victims of the Ebola outbreak, but my Anti-Virus software wouldn't let me.


LordHaveMurci

12,047 posts

171 months

Tuesday 18th November 2014
quotequote all
Monkey boy 1 said:
I tried to download the new Band-Aid song to raise money for victims of the Ebola outbreak, but my Anti-Virus software wouldn't let me.
Don't know whether to LOL or groan at this.

Laurel Green

30,797 posts

234 months

Tuesday 18th November 2014
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LordHaveMurci said:
Monkey boy 1 said:
I tried to download the new Band-Aid song to raise money for victims of the Ebola outbreak, but my Anti-Virus software wouldn't let me.
Don't know whether to LOL or groan at this.
As did I, though ended with a laugh

GloverMart

11,897 posts

217 months

Wednesday 19th November 2014
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Just got my Oscar Pistorius advent calendar that Smirnoff have brought out.

There's a shot behind every door!

Allyc85

7,225 posts

188 months

Wednesday 19th November 2014
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GloverMart said:
Just got my Oscar Pistorius advent calendar that Smirnoff have brought out.

There's a shot behind every door!
laugh

Gargamel

15,042 posts

263 months

Thursday 20th November 2014
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Jimmy has finally answered the question he asked all those years ago.

What becomes of the broken hearted ?

Laurel Green

30,797 posts

234 months

Thursday 20th November 2014
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frown

Adenauer

18,588 posts

238 months

Thursday 20th November 2014
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Is someone dead again?

marshalla

15,902 posts

203 months

Thursday 20th November 2014
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Adenauer said:
Is someone dead again?
No, this is the first time he's died.

Laurel Green

30,797 posts

234 months

Thursday 20th November 2014
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Adenauer said:
Is someone dead again?
Jimmy Lee Ruffin.

Adenauer

18,588 posts

238 months

Thursday 20th November 2014
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Aha, The Temptations.


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