Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

[Monkey boy 1]

This thread is just Quality. Street's ahead.

[FredClogs]

Join the Club, I'm going for a Taxi, I fear I'm straying into biscuit territory which is not Nice.

[Mermaid]

FredClogs said:

Join the Club, I'm going for a Taxi, I fear I'm straying into biscuit territory which is not Nice.

Mars so much better

[KareemK]

FredClogs said:

Join the Club, I'm going for a Taxi

I might join you, I'm a bit of a Drifter myself.

[LordGrover]

You lot and your lame puns are revelling in this.

[FredClogs]

LordGrover said:

You lot and your lame puns are revelling in this.

Oooh you Cad, bury you cynicism.

[KareemK]

That's Kinder the point.

[GAjon]

KareemK said:

That's Kinder the point.

Smartie pants

[Lordbenny]

I came in here looking for a decent joke but all I can find i stupid chocolate bar gags....Bunch of wonkas!

Edited by Lordbenny on Thursday 4th December 19:32

[FRA53R]

Gosh! hasn't it gone quiet all I can hear is the tic-tac of my clock.

[Laurel Green]

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck''.

[schmunk]

Laurel Green said:

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck''.

A proper joke!

The perfect cure for the mallardy of puns afflicting this thread.

[Halmyre]

schmunk said:

Laurel Green said:

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck''.

A proper joke!

The perfect cure for the mallardy of puns afflicting this thread.

Much as I don't like chocolate puns, I don't like duck puns eider.

[Ayahuasca]

Halmyre said:

Much as I don't like chocolate puns, I don't like duck puns eider.

Your eider pun is bringing us down.

[Gandahar]

Vipers said:

Man walks into a bank and pulls out a sawn off shotgun from underneath his coat.

He says to the teller "This is a hold up, hand over the money"

The teller says "Your Irish arnt you?",

Man says "How did you know that",

Teller looking at the sawn off shot gun says "You've sawn the wrong end off".

Jasper Carrot did that joke on his show a few years back but had it a Sun reader.

[Halmyre]

Ayahuasca said:

Halmyre said:

Much as I don't like chocolate puns, I don't like duck puns eider.

Your eider pun is bringing us down.

Waddle it take to make me stop?

[Gandahar]

This thread and it's chocolate puns,had enough ..thinking of throwing in the trowel.

[K12beano]

Gandahar said:

Vipers said:

Man walks into a bank and pulls out a sawn off shotgun from underneath his coat.

He says to the teller "This is a hold up, hand over the money"

The teller says "Your Irish arnt you?",

Man says "How did you know that",

Teller looking at the sawn off shot gun says "You've sawn the wrong end off".

Jasper Carrot did that joke on his show a few years back but had it a Sun reader.

Why would an Irishman try and hold up a Sun reader?

[Vipers]

So Paddy is working for Wimpeys, he hits the jackpot on the Irish sweepstake.

Mick, his pal says to,him "What are you going to do with all that money Paddy"

Paddy says "The first thing I'll be buying my self is one of those JCB GT's"

[Ayahuasca]

Vipers said:

So Paddy is working for Wimpeys, he hits the jackpot on the Irish sweepstake.

Mick, his pal says to,him "What are you going to do with all that money Paddy"

Paddy says "The first thing I'll be buying my self is one of those JCB GT's"

Do they come with bucket seats?