You find a suitcase with £1 million in it. What would you do

You find a suitcase with £1 million in it. What would you do

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exceed

454 posts

182 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
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What utter tool would hand this into the police!?

It's a difficult one but I'm sure you could find a guy to help you legitimise your funds for a £100k fee?

Muzzer79

10,945 posts

193 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
quotequote all
mrmr96 said:
Muzzer79 said:
robinessex said:
Ok, fun question! You find a suitcase with a million quid in it. No possible way anyone could know you've got it. What would you do? And before you ask, no I bloody well haven't found one!
Herein lies the key.

All those worrying about the mob or generally looking over your shoulder - there's no way anyone could know you have it?!

Ergo, hide it somewhere (safety deposit box, etc) and cream off relatively small amounts regularly that will not arouse suspicion.

It's the long game, but you'd have to give it a go.
Well The Mob may not know initially. In the same way that if you murder someone in the woods with no witnesses then no one knows initially. The point is that someone will find out at some point in the future unless you're incredibly adept at covering your tracks.
/Pedant Mode

The OP did not mention 'initially' He just said there's no way anyone could know you have it.

Murders have evidence - the body itself being the main one when it's found; usually hidden fairly crudely as you can't inconspicuously hide a body.
A simple suitcase is different and can be hidden far, far more easily.

No-one knows I have it means no-one sees me taking it means I am totally unconnected to it. I can hide it very easily by switching into another anonymous suitcase, without drawing attention to what it actually is.

Biggy Shackleton

83 posts

132 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
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Separate it into wads of £100,000 so it wasn't in one place all together, and store each of these wads in different, secure and obscure places that only I could ever know about. Would never tell a soul of it's existence apart from very close family.

Spend bits and bobs of it here and there for the rest of my life: 7 or 8 of my favourite cars, isolated house in lake district with big driveway and garage, and good times with missus and kids mostly.

Edited by Biggy Shackleton on Thursday 31st October 16:53


Edited by Biggy Shackleton on Thursday 31st October 16:54

Nedzilla

2,439 posts

180 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
quotequote all
Isnt there a law that exists that says if no one comes forward to claim it then if you found it then you are entitled to keep it?
If the money was stolen from a bank then obviously they would come forward but if it was money amassed by say a drug dealer and had been ditched for whatever reason then he is hardly going to come forward and ask for it back.

Its a long shot but it might be worth handing it in and if it becomes finders keepers the money would be clean and you could do what you want with it.

Just a thought,but probably not a valid option.

RSoovy4

35,829 posts

277 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
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k-ink

9,070 posts

185 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
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Biggy Shackleton said:
Spend bits and bobs of it here and there for the rest of my life.
Once agin, no you wouldn't. You have a limited time, until they change the bank notes again. They do this for a reason!

MajorProblem

4,700 posts

170 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
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Go mad on eBay buying loads of cars, bung a farmer some cash for land rent, sell cars off.

Greg_D

6,542 posts

252 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
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BJG1 said:
You can drop a lot of cash on things abroad, I reckon, so I'd be doing that. Restaurants, bars, clubs etc are all places you could have a lot of fun spending cash and nobody would notice, plus I'd be paying for all the small things in cash too. Spend the salary on flights, the cash on everything whilst I'm away.
you are only allowed to take £10k in cash through an airport, they have sniffer dogs as well that are trained to sniff muchos cash. It's surprisingly difficult to get it across borders unless you go for a big hit. You would still just be wasting it.

Greg_D

6,542 posts

252 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
quotequote all
Nedzilla said:
Isnt there a law that exists that says if no one comes forward to claim it then if you found it then you are entitled to keep it?
If the money was stolen from a bank then obviously they would come forward but if it was money amassed by say a drug dealer and had been ditched for whatever reason then he is hardly going to come forward and ask for it back.

Its a long shot but it might be worth handing it in and if it becomes finders keepers the money would be clean and you could do what you want with it.

Just a thought,but probably not a valid option.
this may well be a winner, you'd hand in your £850k wink and if the (up until this point, useless) rest comes back to you, all the better.

If this worked though, why don't criminals do it.... "hello officer, i've just found this money, let me know if anyone claims it....." bingo, legit money!!!

Biggy Shackleton

83 posts

132 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
quotequote all
k-ink said:
Once agin, no you wouldn't. You have a limited time, until they change the bank notes again. They do this for a reason!
The hours must fly by in your house.

berlintaxi

8,535 posts

179 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
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exceed said:
What utter tool would hand this into the police!?
Someone with a moral compass, the great assumption here is that the million quid is moody, what if it was actually your grannies' life savings that she left at the bus stop?

73mark

774 posts

133 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
quotequote all
Biggy Shackleton said:
k-ink said:
Once agin, no you wouldn't. You have a limited time, until they change the bank notes again. They do this for a reason!
The hours must fly by in your house.
biglaugh

Nedzilla

2,439 posts

180 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
quotequote all
Greg_D said:
Nedzilla said:
Isnt there a law that exists that says if no one comes forward to claim it then if you found it then you are entitled to keep it?
If the money was stolen from a bank then obviously they would come forward but if it was money amassed by say a drug dealer and had been ditched for whatever reason then he is hardly going to come forward and ask for it back.

Its a long shot but it might be worth handing it in and if it becomes finders keepers the money would be clean and you could do what you want with it.

Just a thought,but probably not a valid option.
this may well be a winner, you'd hand in your £850k wink and if the (up until this point, useless) rest comes back to you, all the better.

If this worked though, why don't criminals do it.... "hello officer, i've just found this money, let me know if anyone claims it....." bingo, legit money!!!
A quick search states that if you 'find money' you are required by law to hand it in otherwise you are guilty of 'theft by finding'.
If no one can legally claim it is theirs within 28 days of you finding it you are entitled to keep it.

callmedave

2,686 posts

151 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
quotequote all
Could you set up a 'we buy your gold' stand in town (there is a small trailer/burger van thing in our town center)

offer a good price, you distribute all the cash quite quickly, in return you get a load of gold, sit on it and sell a bit of gold off as and when the price is good.

if you sell at the right times then you could even be better off than when you started!

(would that work??)


mrmr96

13,736 posts

210 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
quotequote all
callmedave said:
Could you set up a 'we buy your gold' stand in town (there is a small trailer/burger van thing in our town center)

offer a good price, you distribute all the cash quite quickly, in return you get a load of gold, sit on it and sell a bit of gold off as and when the price is good.

if you sell at the right times then you could even be better off than when you started!

(would that work??)
Do you expect to file accounts for this gold buying company?
Do you expect to be asked where you got the money to invest in the gold from?

callmedave

2,686 posts

151 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
quotequote all

Do you expect to file accounts for this gold buying company? - no!
Do you expect to be asked where you got the money to invest in the gold from? - by who?

popegregory

1,526 posts

140 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
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Regarding the Swiss bank idea; wouldn't they arrange to come to you? Are they not geared up to convenience the finance departments of criminal organisations?

Greg_D

6,542 posts

252 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
quotequote all
mrmr96 said:
callmedave said:
Could you set up a 'we buy your gold' stand in town (there is a small trailer/burger van thing in our town center)

offer a good price, you distribute all the cash quite quickly, in return you get a load of gold, sit on it and sell a bit of gold off as and when the price is good.

if you sell at the right times then you could even be better off than when you started!

(would that work??)
Do you expect to file accounts for this gold buying company?
Do you expect to be asked where you got the money to invest in the gold from?
do you expect to get the snot kicked out of you every night and robbed - YES!

The criminal fraternity would know that you have EITHER gold or money on your person

Mr GrimNasty

8,172 posts

176 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
quotequote all
I'd slip on a DVD of A Simple Plan.

And then hand it in (the cash, not the DVD!).

elephantstone

2,176 posts

163 months

Thursday 31st October 2013
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mackay45 said:
I'd pretend I won it counting cards, use it to buy a car wash and then use that car wash to launder any other illegitimate funds I might come across in the future.

I'd probably treat myself to a 300C as well.
Would use the name Hiesenberg by any chance?