Misfits, Dad's Army Types et al...

Misfits, Dad's Army Types et al...

Author
Discussion

jdw100

4,288 posts

166 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
ThunderGuts said:
Hmmm dunno.

Will you be wearing this / dressing for a part in the Village People?

Turn up with this and we'd send you home with a flea in your ear. Laughable, just pathetic.

No Velcro areas for 4x4 Emergency Action Team badges. No epaullettes for rank and badge number (how else will they know I'm silver command regional leader?). No hooks for comms equipment..where do I fix my deployment medals (Glasto 2016 has just arrived in the post and my mum's eyesight is not what it was so sewing it on is not going to work, I need Velcro!) .the list goes on....

If you really want to keep up; my team are now sporting hard hats with our nicknames written across the front and a wound dressing taped to the side...like in Vietnam. I'm also thinking of getting a blood group tattoo, just in case the SRHTF! (But my mum won't let me..)

Sorry pal but you must try harder if you want to become time served with us.




JVaughan

6,025 posts

285 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
Prev said:
We have this in Guernsey, they are branded the Civil Protection. Appear to do all the jobs the police are too lazy or deem below them. Few of them take it far too seriously and appear to think they are a 4th emergency service....
I had a run in with one of these, when i parked my rental spec fiesta on the sand in Jersey pone evening.. well within the time limits setout on the signage ... turns out I was 5 minutes early and he saw it as his opportunity to try and bully someone who clearly was not from the island.
He produced a badge and proceeded to lecture me how important he was and that he could have me arrested.

anonymous-user

56 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
jdw100 said:
...time served ...
Ooh talk dirty to me, you filthy bh!

Vocal Minority

8,582 posts

154 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
JVaughan said:
he could have me arrested.
Put that in the context of a proper policeman being able to arrest someone themselves, and it feels a touch tragic

mph1977

12,467 posts

170 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
JVaughan said:
Prev said:
We have this in Guernsey, they are branded the Civil Protection. Appear to do all the jobs the police are too lazy or deem below them. Few of them take it far too seriously and appear to think they are a 4th emergency service....
I had a run in with one of these, when i parked my rental spec fiesta on the sand in Jersey pone evening.. well within the time limits setout on the signage ... turns out I was 5 minutes early and he saw it as his opportunity to try and bully someone who clearly was not from the island.
He produced a badge and proceeded to lecture me how important he was and that he could have me arrested.
Jersey's Honorary Police are 'real police' ....

joshleb

1,544 posts

146 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
JVaughan said:
Prev said:
We have this in Guernsey, they are branded the Civil Protection. Appear to do all the jobs the police are too lazy or deem below them. Few of them take it far too seriously and appear to think they are a 4th emergency service....
I had a run in with one of these, when i parked my rental spec fiesta on the sand in Jersey pone evening.. well within the time limits setout on the signage ... turns out I was 5 minutes early and he saw it as his opportunity to try and bully someone who clearly was not from the island.
He produced a badge and proceeded to lecture me how important he was and that he could have me arrested.
The Honorary Police in Jersey are all a bit of a joke, love the bit of power they think they have and there is no honour left in the role any more.

mph1977

12,467 posts

170 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
joshleb said:
The Honorary Police in Jersey are all a bit of a joke, love the bit of power they think they have and there is no honour left in the role any more.
Don't forget to remind them of this when the States Police have nicked you and it's the Honorary Police deciding on disposal.

JVaughan

6,025 posts

285 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
I must admit when I returned to the office the next day, they did "enlighten" me as to these people, their roles and their "powers"


thehappyotter

800 posts

204 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
I'm a cop in a county force and there's a security guard round my way who's brought an ex police V70 at auction and stickered it up with all sorts of bizarre "Security Response" decals and an orange, but clear white like ours when turned off, light bar. He insists on waving at police cars as they pass and tries to give some sort of knowing nod if you're sat next to him in traffic.

I met him wearing all of his pointless clobber whilst buying myself a tasty meal deal from the local Tesco Express and he tried to talk to me like I was a long lost friend about his latest emergency alarm call out (caused by a powercut, exciting stuff...) whilst showing me the new exciting first aid kit he had on his belt (I never understood what's wrong with the car boot).

He wasn't happy when I pointed out that his very car was based where I work in its previous life and, along with being bent more times than I care to remember, used to transport people who'd wet themselves and were covered in sick or were injured and covered in blood it was involved in the famous "trouser leg man" incident. A drunk prisoner somehow managed to squeeze the biggest turd you've ever seen in your life down their trouser leg and smear it with his foot all over the rear carpets, back of the seats and the insides of the doors. It was a magical sight to behold and soon entered into local folk law. The smell never did disappear and the car, by now having done well over 100,000 miles of being thrashed from cold every day, went to auction not long after.

Since then every time he's gives the nod or tries to wave everyone just smiles and holds their nose. I don't think he's impressed...





Edited by thehappyotter on Monday 18th July 14:20

anonymous-user

56 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
clap

joshleb

1,544 posts

146 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
mph1977 said:
Don't forget to remind them of this when the States Police have nicked you and it's the Honorary Police deciding on disposal.
But then it goes to the Parish Hall, where at least the people there take the job seriously and it's not just a power trip.

Honoraries have some serious Walts among them, the real SOJ Police tend to be understanding and willing to let things slip.

wildcat45

Original Poster:

8,087 posts

191 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
So please enlighten is about these Honorary coppers in Jersey. What are they PCSOs?

Was Jim Bergerac a Walt? That's a semi serious question. Was his role just made up?

mph1977

12,467 posts

170 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
wildcat45 said:
So please enlighten is about these Honorary coppers in Jersey. What are they PCSOs?

Was Jim Bergerac a Walt? That's a semi serious question. Was his role just made up?
The honorary police are like specials but with a twist, it's them who make the charging decisions not the regulars, States police cannot charge.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honorary_Police

The department in the states police Bergerac worked for is made up .

Trabi601

4,865 posts

97 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
Saw a 4x4 response Landie on the A303 this afternoon. Holding everyone up whilst he elephant raced a 7.5 tonner up a hill.

It was a sight to behold. Red, with lots of dayglow / reflective stripes, massive off-road tyres which stuck out a couple of inches from the arches, and a snorkel. Obviously, had the compulsory '4x4 Emergency Response' stickers and an amber light bar.

wildcat45

Original Poster:

8,087 posts

191 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
mph1977 said:
The honorary police are like specials but with a twist, it's them who make the charging decisions not the regulars, States police cannot charge.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honorary_Police

The department in the states police Bergerac worked for is made up .
Chees for that. I'll keep my nose clean if I visit. Which I want to one day.

ThunderGuts

12,232 posts

196 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
##### B E A D W I N D O W #####


st, I really should get my Walty-tourettes dealt with.

Edited by ThunderGuts on Monday 18th July 22:12

wildcat45

Original Poster:

8,087 posts

191 months

Monday 18th July 2016
quotequote all
ThunderGuts said:
##### B E A D W I N D O W #####


st, I really should get my Walty-tourettes dealt with.

Edited by ThunderGuts on Monday 18th July 22:12
You need to follow that with a number or else we'll not know exactly what it is well have to stop shooting our mouths off about.

This proves YOU are a Walt and that I clearly know my stuff.

jdw100

4,288 posts

166 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
quotequote all
OpulentBob said:
jdw100 said:
...time served ...
Ooh talk dirty to me, you filthy bh!
Okay....my high top combat SWAT boots (from eBay) still have Glasto Evac mud on the soles and my hi-viz tabard is streaked with winch grease....

Am I doing this right?

ThunderGuts

12,232 posts

196 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
quotequote all
wildcat45 said:
ThunderGuts said:
##### B E A D W I N D O W #####


st, I really should get my Walty-tourettes dealt with.

Edited by ThunderGuts on Monday 18th July 22:12
You need to follow that with a number or else we'll not know exactly what it is well have to stop shooting our mouths off about.

This proves YOU are a Walt and that I clearly know my stuff.
Could you not decode the cypher? ##### = 3.14159

Jesus, there are some Walts in here hehe


Now, where's my cowboy hat.


Yee-fking-haw!

jdw100

4,288 posts

166 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
quotequote all
Trabi601 said:
Saw a 4x4 response Landie on the A303 this afternoon. Holding everyone up whilst he elephant raced a 7.5 tonner up a hill.

It was a sight to behold. Red, with lots of dayglow / reflective stripes, massive off-road tyres which stuck out a couple of inches from the arches, and a snorkel. Obviously, had the compulsory '4x4 Emergency Response' stickers and an amber light bar.
Maybe he was late for University?