Match.com

[Brown and Boris]

Not for me you understand. My brother in law has finally come to his senses and realised that sitting about waiting for a particular woman to get her emotional life in order and give him a spin on the roulete wheel of life was a useless folly and after they split up about 12 months ago, it is time to get a life again.


He is not exactly Mr confident with women so his helpful sis and I suggested a dating web site. I did a quick search and there were 32 pages of women in the right age group (35-50) in just our local area and to be frank, based on the profiles only, some seemed really nice women (obviously a few worrying looking ones but he is hardly Tom Cruise so how can he complain?).

So, how does it work. Seems you pay to 'wink' at other profiles and see if you get a wink back? It this a pay per wink thing or do you buy winks in bulk or an open winking licence?

I have also heard people on here say some of the people on Match.com were, to put it politely, bunny boiling psychopaths who live with their cat/mothers. Any better sites likely to have fewer transvestites and fewer woman posting 'glamour' shots?

Edited by Brown and Boris on Tuesday 10th February 08:46

Edited by Brown and Boris on Tuesday 10th February 08:47

Edited by Brown and Boris on Tuesday 10th February 08:47

[Timsta]

I found dating websites to be full of nutters. I met my wife about 6 years ago on MakeFriendsOnline.com More of a "meet new friends" site, which is a lot less stressful.

If he isn't confident then a dating site based on winks probably isn't the best thing for him.

[SimonV8ster]

I think the winks are free ? But then you just continually wink at each other not being able to say anything until you become full paid up members.

How about ALT.com ? Might bring himself out of his shell ?

[paolow]

bit of a minefield for both sexes but if you persevere you may well find. i think match and datingdirect will be the most trafficked sites but also try plentyoffish.com for a no cost taster...

[Dakkon]

Heed this terminology:

Women’s
40-ish: 49
Adventurous: Slept with all of your friends
Athletic: No tits
Average looking: Face like a basset hound
Beautiful: Pathological liar
Contagious smile: Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated: Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally secure: Medicated
Feminist: Fat ball-buster
Free spirit: Junkie
Friendship first: Trying to live down her reputation as a slut
Fun: Annoying
Good listener: Borderline autistic
New-age: All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned: Lights out, missionary position only, no blowjobs
Open-minded: Desperate
Outgoing: Loud and embarrassing
Passionate: Sloppy drunk
Professional: Certified bh
Reubenesque: Grossly fat
Romantic: Looks best by dim candlelight
Social: Has been passed around like an hors d’oeuvres tray
Wants soulmate: Stalker
Young at heart: Older than dirt

Men’s
40-ish: 53 and looking for a 25-year-old
Athletic: Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking: Unusual hair growth on ears, nose and back
Educated: Will patronize the st out of you
Free spirit: Banging your sister
Friendship first: As long as friendship includes blowjobs
Good looking: Arrogant
Very good looking: Dumb as a bag of hammers
Fun: Good with a remote and a six pack
Honest: Pathological liar
Huggable: Grossly fat with extensive body hair
Mature: Older than your father
Open-minded: Wants to sleep with your roommate
Poet: Wrote his ex-girlfriend’s phone number on the urinal
Sensitive: Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive: Gay
Spiritual: Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable: Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful: Says “excuse me” when he farts

[MrV]

SimonV8ster said:

How about ALT.com ? Might bring himself out of his shell ?

The Sarah Beany one looks to be a good one as the profile thingy is written by a friend rather than the person.


I would suggest he tries some of the free ones first just to get the hang of it as a lot of the ones you have to pay for have a bit of poetic licence when it comes to actual active members close to you rather than members near you.


Be aware there are a lot of social misfits on these sites there is a reason why they are single

Edited by MrV on Tuesday 10th February 09:08

[tonyvid]

I'm on Match I don't get that much opportunity to meet lots of different people in social circumstances, live in a small village and work in a very male dominated company.

I think you can wink for free but can't get any messages without signing up. They do various packages but I have just paid for one month so far. To narrow down the sheer numbers(assuming he is not in a city...) he needs to be a bit more specific in his search requirements - if you show no preference you will get every woman in the area. If he only likes skinny girls, just tick that box, non-smokers etc. It will give you hundreds when you first publish your profile but you can soon narrow it down. It sounds shallow but only view profiles with pictures - why would someone have no picture in this day and age?

There may be bunny boilers on there so read very carefully, keep his anonymity by not giving out more than a mobile number if he is happy the way email conversations are going(maybe buy a cheap PAYG mobile and set up a specific hottie account)and just listen to his instincts. Only meet in public places at first.

It's ok in there, don't be afraid to say no thanks to ones who you aren't interested in and don't get upset if people don't respond if you wink or email - some people have no courtesy.

I just need to find the swamp-donkey filter

[tonyvid]

MrV said:

Be aware there are a lot of social misfits on these sites there is a reason why they are single

Oi!!!

[tonyvid]

Dakkon said:

Heed this terminology:


Translations....

So true!

[Dakkon]

Just be aware that a lot of people lie on their profiles, girls post pictures of themselves from 5 years ago, Men tend to exaggerate their jobs / earnings.

Just go into it with your eyes open.

I have a couple of friends who met on online dating sites, who are now married with kids so it can work.

Edited by Dakkon on Tuesday 10th February 09:14

[OJ]

I met my current gf on Match.com after being forced to by a friend after she'd had enough of my whingeing about a string of emotional nutters that I'd met socially. That and I kept shagging her friends which she didn't like.

I've now been with Alex (current gf) for a year, which is a record for me!

Basically you can set up a profile for free and have a browse, but you pay to 'access' it. Winking is basically like a poke on facebook, but you can kick off by e-mailing someone who appeals.

I met Alex on my second 'blind' date, and she was exactly as described physically and is a lovely person. The first one I went out with wasn't quite as appealing as her photos made her look (although still not a disaster), but she was perfectly normal and took the hint well.

I know several other people who have used Match.com, some with success, others with less success, but heard of no particularly bad experiences, and certainly nothing you couldn't have been a victim to under normal circumstances.

Basically I was honest about myself, so was Alex, and we were well suited. Those I know that have had less success typically have bigged themselves up and aimed too high. If your friend is honest and sets his sights realistically, then he'll do well

Edited by OJ on Tuesday 10th February 09:19

[john_p]

Try and get chatting on MSN or whatever first, and get more photos (facebook etc) to see if they are being "economical with the truth" (and in fairness, he'll probably be the same). Get a few good pictures with something interesting in them to give something to talk about.

There are normal women out there, and there are nutters. As a bloke, don't expect many winks/emails and send loads out.

With Match, you can 'wink' for free. To send and read emails you have to be a paid member. (£15/month or less if you pay up front).

Edited by john_p on Tuesday 10th February 09:28

[bored-of-coding]

"although I like to go out and party I'm equally at home cuddled up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a dvd"

"I have recently taken up ceroc/salsa dancing which keeps me fit"

"I have a xx year old daughter who is also my best friend"


etc ..

(I met my partner on FRD and we're still very much together after 4 years ..)

[minerva]

I was on Match for a while. Don't bother with all this winking malarkey. Just sit down with an hour to spend and message all the ones who look like hopefuls. That INCLUDES all the fit ones. Why aim low?

I tried telling them all that I was a doctor, over six foot, gym toned body, six series BMW and they all accused me of being arrogant. Who knows what they wants? Eternal mystery to me. Maybe you/ your friend/ brother is EXACTLY what they are after? Don't know until you ask.....

[chris watton]

john_p said:

Try and get chatting on MSN or whatever first, and get more photos (facebook etc) to see if they are being "economical with the truth" (and in fairness, you'll probably be the same)

There are normal women out there, and there are nutters.

MSN used to be great for that sort of thing, before the age related chat rooms were pulled.elieve it, When I first had a PC in 2000, I couldn't believe it, they were like free sex advertising rooms!

[tonyvid]

Dakkon said:

Just be aware that a lot of people lie on their profiles, girls post pictures of themselves from 5 years ago, Men tend to exaggerate their jobs / earnings.

Just go into it with your eyes open.

Yep, use your eyes. If they say that they are 40 yet the profile says 43 at the top you know they have probably been on there for 3 years as it keeps your original DOB, assuming they were honest about that.... People are lazy and will keep their best pictures up so they will be at least that old. A lot of pics have dates burnt in to them....doh.

For a few quid a month, you do get a lot of entertainment. Oh, and if your English is rubbish please, get a friend to check it over as some of the writing is terrible - PH pedants would explode after 5 mins in there.

I think I have been spending too much time on there!!!

[SimonV8ster]

Does it tell you how many times your profile has been viewed though ?? I bet there is a hell of a lot of blokes on there compared to girls/trouts so you profile doesn't get viewed very often ?.

[Penny-lope]

I did the whole Match.com about a year ago....and to be honest, before I was ready to date again. The people on there do seem to be looking for relationships, much more than the folks on POF. I met someone, but knew after a few dates, that he wasn't for me as I just wasn't ready.

It is a bit pricey, when you can join Faceparty, or Plenty of fish for free...but I suppose it depends what your looking for. A bit of fun, then Facepartys your site. I still speak to a few guys of there, who I became good mates with.

As for POF...hmmm well may get back to you in a few weeks

Oh and agree with the people who mention chatting on MSN. I would never go on a date with anyone off the net, without first having a blether

Edited by Penny-lope on Tuesday 10th February 09:58

[tonyvid]

SimonV8ster said:

Does it tell you how many times your profile has been viewed though ?? I bet there is a hell of a lot of blokes on there compared to girls/trouts so you profile doesn't get viewed very often ?.

Yes it does and you can see who has been looking and who has listed you on their favourites.

[shirt]

my mate joined match after his divorce last year. we took the piss but he was knee deep in flange before the month was out and kept a couple of them going for a few months. he reckons if you are just up for a bit of fun & frolics its worth signing up.

when he joined i had to look at his profile [blatant lies!] and had a search for girls near me. there were some very tasty girls but now i am single again they have disappeared. the ones in my age range now all look as though they are single for very good reasons. typical!