Childish Chants
Discussion
There was a boy from Mars
Whose balls were made of brass
In stormy weather
They knocked together
And sparks shot out of his arse
There was an old lady from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
And opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling
Probably funnier whan you were abou 10 I guess.
Whose balls were made of brass
In stormy weather
They knocked together
And sparks shot out of his arse
There was an old lady from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
And opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling
Probably funnier whan you were abou 10 I guess.
Steamer said:
8Ace said:
goldblum said:
I'll get in before the thread is closed.
Always like the simplicity of this:
Mary had a little lamb
She thought it was a runt
She tied it to a five bar gate
And kicked it in the .
Always like the simplicity of this:
Mary had a little lamb
She thought it was a runt
She tied it to a five bar gate
And kicked it in the .
Most schools have at least one unbelievably foul mouthed kid. OUrs came up with a version of the above:
Mary had a little lamb,
and it had a fringe
she tied it to an electric chair
and volts went up its minge.
She tied it to a pylon,
10,000 volts went up it's arse..
and now it's wool in nylon!
Jonny had a duck
They put them on the mantelpiece
To see if they would... fall off.
Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
and a merry old soul was he,
He called for his food,
he called for his drink,
and he called for the lavatory,
The lavatory was occupied and so was the kitchen sink,
OH IT HAD TO BE DONE, IT HAD TO BE DONE,
so out the window he stuck his bum,
Farmer White was walking by,
he heard a rumble in the sky,
He looked up,
it came down,
And now they call him Farmer Brown!!
and a merry old soul was he,
He called for his food,
he called for his drink,
and he called for the lavatory,
The lavatory was occupied and so was the kitchen sink,
OH IT HAD TO BE DONE, IT HAD TO BE DONE,
so out the window he stuck his bum,
Farmer White was walking by,
he heard a rumble in the sky,
He looked up,
it came down,
And now they call him Farmer Brown!!
We are the Essex girls,
We wear our hair in curls,
We wear our dungarees
To show our sexy knees,
You see the boy next door,
He got me on the floor,
He counted 1, 2, 3,
And stuck it into me,
Counted 1 to 10 and took it out again,
My mother was surprised,
To see my belly rise,
My father jumped with joy,
It was a baby boy.
We wear our hair in curls,
We wear our dungarees
To show our sexy knees,
You see the boy next door,
He got me on the floor,
He counted 1, 2, 3,
And stuck it into me,
Counted 1 to 10 and took it out again,
My mother was surprised,
To see my belly rise,
My father jumped with joy,
It was a baby boy.
GTIR said:
Ledaig said:
Jesus Christ Superstar,
Came down from heaven on a Yamaha.
Did a skid, killed a kid
& Caught his balls on a dustbin lid
orCame down from heaven on a Yamaha.
Did a skid, killed a kid
& Caught his balls on a dustbin lid
Jesus Christ Superstar
Wears frilly knickers and a see through bra
Charlie George, superstar
Walks like a woman and he wears a bra.
A West London primary, no time for Arsenal.
goldblum said:
Maybe not so childish..lol
'Three German Officers crossed the Rhine'
Tune: 'Mademoiselle from Armentieres'
Three German Officers crossed the Rhine, parlez-vous
Three German Officers crossed the Rhine, parlez-vous
Three German Officers crossed the Rhine
To fk the women and drink the wine,
(Chorus) Inky-dinky parlez-vous
They came to the door of a wayside Inn, parlez-vous
Pissed on the mat and walked right in, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
'Oh landlord have you a daughter fair?', parlez-vous
'With lily-white tits and golden hair?', parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
'My only daughter's far too young', parlez-vous
'To be fked by you, you bd hun', parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
'Oh father dear I'm not too young' parlez-vous
'I've just been fked by the blacksmith's son', parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
At last they got her on the bed, parlez-vous
And shagged her 'til her cheeks were red, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
They took her down a shady lane, parlez-vous
And shagged her back to life again, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
And then they took her to a bed, parlez-vous
And shagged her til she was nearly dead, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
They shagged her up they shagged her down, parlez-vous
They shagged her all around the town, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
They shagged her in they shagged her out, parlez-vous
They shagged her up her water-spout, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
Now seven months later all was well, parlez-vous
Eight months later she began to swell, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
Nine months later she gave a grunt, parlez-vous
And a little fat Prussian popped out her , parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
The fat little Prussian he grew and grew, parlez-vous
He fked the cat and the donkey too, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
The fat little Prussian he went to hell, parlez-vous
He fked the devil and his wife as well, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
You went to school with Boris Johnson, didn't you?'Three German Officers crossed the Rhine'
Tune: 'Mademoiselle from Armentieres'
Three German Officers crossed the Rhine, parlez-vous
Three German Officers crossed the Rhine, parlez-vous
Three German Officers crossed the Rhine
To fk the women and drink the wine,
(Chorus) Inky-dinky parlez-vous
They came to the door of a wayside Inn, parlez-vous
Pissed on the mat and walked right in, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
'Oh landlord have you a daughter fair?', parlez-vous
'With lily-white tits and golden hair?', parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
'My only daughter's far too young', parlez-vous
'To be fked by you, you bd hun', parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
'Oh father dear I'm not too young' parlez-vous
'I've just been fked by the blacksmith's son', parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
At last they got her on the bed, parlez-vous
And shagged her 'til her cheeks were red, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
They took her down a shady lane, parlez-vous
And shagged her back to life again, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
And then they took her to a bed, parlez-vous
And shagged her til she was nearly dead, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
They shagged her up they shagged her down, parlez-vous
They shagged her all around the town, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
They shagged her in they shagged her out, parlez-vous
They shagged her up her water-spout, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
Now seven months later all was well, parlez-vous
Eight months later she began to swell, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
Nine months later she gave a grunt, parlez-vous
And a little fat Prussian popped out her , parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
The fat little Prussian he grew and grew, parlez-vous
He fked the cat and the donkey too, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
The fat little Prussian he went to hell, parlez-vous
He fked the devil and his wife as well, parlez-vous
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
When you wake up in the morning with a devil of a stand
From the swelling of the semen in the seminary gland
If you haven't got a woman, gonna have to use the hand
Gonna revel in the joys of masturbation
Glory, glory! Masturbation! (x3)
And we ain't gonna wk no more
When she wakes up in the morning, juices flowing like a lake
And the stench between her legs is like a sixty day old hake
If she hasn't got a man, then why the fk is she awake?
Gonna revel in the joys of masturbation
Sang this daft ditty on more occasions than I care to remember at Uni.
From the swelling of the semen in the seminary gland
If you haven't got a woman, gonna have to use the hand
Gonna revel in the joys of masturbation
Glory, glory! Masturbation! (x3)
And we ain't gonna wk no more
When she wakes up in the morning, juices flowing like a lake
And the stench between her legs is like a sixty day old hake
If she hasn't got a man, then why the fk is she awake?
Gonna revel in the joys of masturbation
Sang this daft ditty on more occasions than I care to remember at Uni.
Pints said:
When you wake up in the morning with a devil of a stand
From the swelling of the semen in the seminary gland
If you haven't got a woman, gonna have to use the hand
Gonna revel in the joys of masturbation
Glory, glory! Masturbation! (x3)
And we ain't gonna wk no more
When she wakes up in the morning, juices flowing like a lake
And the stench between her legs is like a sixty day old hake
If she hasn't got a man, then why the fk is she awake?
Gonna revel in the joys of masturbation
Sang this daft ditty on more occasions than I care to remember at Uni.
Chorus:From the swelling of the semen in the seminary gland
If you haven't got a woman, gonna have to use the hand
Gonna revel in the joys of masturbation
Glory, glory! Masturbation! (x3)
And we ain't gonna wk no more
When she wakes up in the morning, juices flowing like a lake
And the stench between her legs is like a sixty day old hake
If she hasn't got a man, then why the fk is she awake?
Gonna revel in the joys of masturbation
Sang this daft ditty on more occasions than I care to remember at Uni.
Cats on the rooftops, cats on the tiles,
Cats with Syphilus, cats with piles,
Cats with their ar****es wrethed in smiles,
As they revel in the joys of masturbation.
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