How to make friends?
Discussion
In October I've moved to the North after a while in the South for various reasons, my missus was offered a job, I work in Sales so am travelling or working from home and houses are much better value up here!
My OH's family is up here, mine are ~ 90 mins away. The OH grew up here so has a few old friends and has also made lots of new friends where she works.
Unfortunately for me, due to the nature of my job, I no longer work from an office and I'm starting to miss the human interaction.
Back when I was single, I had no difficulty meeting women, going on dates etc, however it seems making friends with NORMAL blokes is a lot harder. I just want someone to have a pint with when I fancy getting out of the house.
Where to start? I've tried meetup.com but nothing local. I'm involved in my local kit car club who are a great bunch but they are all much older (I'm 34) and we go for runs out a couple of times a month.
Any ideas? I can't be the only one who has struggled with this.
(Apologies for the poorly written post)
ETA: I've got loads of mates all spread round the country, just now have ended up with none local!
My OH's family is up here, mine are ~ 90 mins away. The OH grew up here so has a few old friends and has also made lots of new friends where she works.
Unfortunately for me, due to the nature of my job, I no longer work from an office and I'm starting to miss the human interaction.
Back when I was single, I had no difficulty meeting women, going on dates etc, however it seems making friends with NORMAL blokes is a lot harder. I just want someone to have a pint with when I fancy getting out of the house.
Where to start? I've tried meetup.com but nothing local. I'm involved in my local kit car club who are a great bunch but they are all much older (I'm 34) and we go for runs out a couple of times a month.
Any ideas? I can't be the only one who has struggled with this.
(Apologies for the poorly written post)
ETA: I've got loads of mates all spread round the country, just now have ended up with none local!
Edited by Mr MXT on Tuesday 1st March 13:01
Sport is probably the best way. Short of that whatever you like doing try and find some other people who like doing that, maybe take an evening class or some part time study. You're of an age I'm afraid when people at a similar age are getting loved up and giving birth which plays hell with social lives.
I can't offer much help but I can sympathise as I'm in the same situation.
Six years ago I moved from my home county and sociable job to a new job 150 miles away. New job had me working shifts in a small company (less than twenty employees) and I was predominantly working alone. Those I worked with were a friendly bunch and we got on, but they either lived all over the county (therefore "going for a quick pint" involved lots of travel), were married with kids (therefore couldn't go out very often if at all, free time was spent with family) or were much older or younger than me or were women. As sociable as the girls were, as a man of thirty hanging around with a group of Uni graduates was not that fun. I spent a few years living alone which despite me enjoying my own company was driving me nuts in the end as I was having so little quality human contact. A fifteen minute chat during shift handover does not make for a good social life, plus working shifts meant going to any evening or weekend events was patchy as inevitably I'd be stuck in the office.
Anyway, six years later the situation has improved in that I now live in a shared house, so there is human contact but the current batch of housemates are not really the types I'd socialise with, and even though I have a missus that I spend most of my time with, I have one male friend who I see once or twice a month for a few beers in the pub and that's it really. I have a new job now that's normal hours but I work alone in that too, only seeing my team mates once or twice a month when I visit the office in London for meetings, and although I get on with them very well, I can't socialise with them unless I travel up there from mid-Kent.
Solutions? Well you've already suggested clubs, but for me I'm not that bothered by doing such things on an evening, I'd rather come home and settle down for the night than sit around until its time to go out again. I've always found my friends from my jobs, its just bad luck I suppose that in the past six years I've had two jobs where I'm generally working alone!
Six years ago I moved from my home county and sociable job to a new job 150 miles away. New job had me working shifts in a small company (less than twenty employees) and I was predominantly working alone. Those I worked with were a friendly bunch and we got on, but they either lived all over the county (therefore "going for a quick pint" involved lots of travel), were married with kids (therefore couldn't go out very often if at all, free time was spent with family) or were much older or younger than me or were women. As sociable as the girls were, as a man of thirty hanging around with a group of Uni graduates was not that fun. I spent a few years living alone which despite me enjoying my own company was driving me nuts in the end as I was having so little quality human contact. A fifteen minute chat during shift handover does not make for a good social life, plus working shifts meant going to any evening or weekend events was patchy as inevitably I'd be stuck in the office.
Anyway, six years later the situation has improved in that I now live in a shared house, so there is human contact but the current batch of housemates are not really the types I'd socialise with, and even though I have a missus that I spend most of my time with, I have one male friend who I see once or twice a month for a few beers in the pub and that's it really. I have a new job now that's normal hours but I work alone in that too, only seeing my team mates once or twice a month when I visit the office in London for meetings, and although I get on with them very well, I can't socialise with them unless I travel up there from mid-Kent.
Solutions? Well you've already suggested clubs, but for me I'm not that bothered by doing such things on an evening, I'd rather come home and settle down for the night than sit around until its time to go out again. I've always found my friends from my jobs, its just bad luck I suppose that in the past six years I've had two jobs where I'm generally working alone!
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