Marriage
Author
Discussion

castroses

Original Poster:

247 posts

128 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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Ok - sitting watching a wedding. Does any man REALLY TRULY want to get married. I understand women wanting to but a man? Really? Truly? Or do they go along with it for an easy life or what?

In what other part of your life would you say - right this is it - the ONE for me.
Would you eat the same meal everyday for the rest of your life? Wear the same clothes? Do the same job? Drive the same car? NO - of course not. BUT settle down to 'live with' the same woman 'from here to eternity'.
I just don't see it.

If you reply please state whether single or married - just for some perspective.

Edited by castroses on Sunday 18th September 16:07

Rh14n

1,129 posts

138 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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Why can you understand that a woman might want to get married but not a man?

BoRED S2upid

21,070 posts

270 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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Married happily so the sleeping around chasing skirt gets boring after a while settle down, have kids, bigger house, better holidays why wouldn't you? Of course it took a long time to meet the right one. It might happen one day OP keep looking.

poing

8,743 posts

230 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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Speaking to a female colleague about this very thing recently and her and her friends all agree that 90% of men wouldn't get married or have kids if women didn't want to.

I don't know of a single wedding that wasn't entirely about the woman, it's always her special day rather than his special day or even their special day. A male friend who's getting married soon has no clue about any part of his wedding, he's just been instructed to turn up sober.

X5TUU

12,788 posts

217 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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Twice married and I don't know if anything is forever ... I don't expect #2 to be forever at all

castroses

Original Poster:

247 posts

128 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
quotequote all
Rh14n said:
Why can you understand that a woman might want to get married but not a man?
Aren't men more designed to spread it around a bit genetically?
Whearas women have been more conditioned from s young age to get married - the big white wedding etc.

Also the security women get from the whole deal and in the knowledge that if it all goes wrong they'll probably get the better deal from the courts too?

NordicCrankShaft

1,957 posts

145 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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I would say the actual day is mostly all about and for the woman. I've been with my missus for a smidge over 4 years and we will get married at some point (she's still studying). 4 years isn't that long in the grand scheme of things but I'd happily spend the rest of my life with just her no problems. I guess it's all about happiness and how comfortable you are, sure that could all change and I do see your point. I don't know if any man REALLY TRULY wants to get married but I don't know if they don't either. For me I've experienced some pretty amazing things and places with my girlfriend and we've both been there for each other through some pretty stty stuff to, so I guess we feel we have a bond that yes we could have with anyone else but we don't we have it with each other. Unlike 70% of pistonheads though I actually do like my missus biggrin

12TS

2,251 posts

240 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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Married. Yes.

Hoofy

80,108 posts

312 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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Single and divorced. Don't see the problem with the same woman if it's someone you actually want to spend time with. You need to be attracted to that person on many levels, of course. If it's just physical, I wouldn't consider marriage.

anonymous said:
[redacted]
Sorry to hear it's not working out but I had the same sentiments when I got married.

creampuff

6,511 posts

173 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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castroses said:
Also the security women get from the whole deal and in the knowledge that if it all goes wrong they'll probably get the better deal from the courts too?
Speaking as a man who has been divorced, women do not get a better deal, they get a fair deal.

Given that it is far, far, far more financially efficient to operate a household as a couple than a single person, the division of assets will almost always mean a substantial drop in standard of living.

Eric Mc

125,748 posts

295 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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"Weddings" and "Marriage" are two different things.

Rh14n

1,129 posts

138 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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castroses said:
Aren't men more designed to spread it around a bit genetically?
Whearas women have been more conditioned from s young age to get married - the big white wedding etc.

Also the security women get from the whole deal and in the knowledge that if it all goes wrong they'll probably get the better deal from the courts too?
That's very cynical of you. I would like to think that most people entering a marriage believe that it's going to be forever and women are no more likely to think otherwise than men. Women generally only get a 'better deal form the courts' if they end up caring for children from the marriage and have accepted the lion's share of childcare and as such generally have to accept lower wages than men who can concentrate on, and put their careers first.

stuartmmcfc

8,775 posts

222 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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Marriage and your football team should be forever.

BoRED S2upid

21,070 posts

270 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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poing said:
Speaking to a female colleague about this very thing recently and her and her friends all agree that 90% of men wouldn't get married or have kids if women didn't want to.

I don't know of a single wedding that wasn't entirely about the woman, it's always her special day rather than his special day or even their special day. A male friend who's getting married soon has no clue about any part of his wedding, he's just been instructed to turn up sober.
You should have come to my wedding non of that frilly nonsense we had a BBQ in a big house it wasn't even that expensive. I even had my own wedding car it certainly wasn't just about the bride.

HD Adam

5,155 posts

214 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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Getting married was the best thing I ever did.

Lasted a couple of months short of 33 years.

I loved her so much.

NordicCrankShaft

1,957 posts

145 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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anonymous said:
[redacted]
This. Add the mongo's on facebook that post/check in every single picture of every single moment they do something or their holidays. Guaranteed they argue like hell behind closed doors.

jonah35

3,940 posts

187 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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anonymous said:
[redacted]
So, why are you ending it? Surely that defeats the purpose of 'forever' and the vows that were made?

oceanview

1,631 posts

161 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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Totally agree, getting married seems to be a thing for women to get excited about( the dress, being a princess and all that st!) And that's about it.

I know if you get married now, you're in the minority but I can see its appeal for some people if they want kids and have that stable, together unit they says better for kids.

Never something that's ever appealed to me ( and I am 45), would do my head in but, each to there own!

mp3manager

4,254 posts

226 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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I followed the best piece of advice my late father ever gave me, 'Never get married'.

Turn7

25,750 posts

251 months

Saturday 17th September 2016
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Weddings are the easy bit, marriage is when you both have to work at it.

Sorry to hear your news Tonks.