How does one moderate one's farts, chaps?

[Changedmyname]

mybrainhurts said:

True, but I spend too much time with my customers....not good.

Funny you say that ,I let a few rip in the shop today, but managed to cover
them up by singing and crashing about.

[mybrainhurts]

...singing what, exactly?

[Smiler.]

Can't help with the cushion creepers but this guy can.

[Changedmyname]

mybrainhurts said:

...singing what, exactly?

"The hills are alive with the sound of music".

[mybrainhurts]

Aaaargh...Julie Andrews. You made me fart again, you swine....

[Lost_BMW]

Do K&N do a filter suitable for this, it is a car-fan site after all.

But on a more serious note, maybe try lactose intolerant branded milk.

[mybrainhurts]

Sod that, I want a magic potion...

[PoleDriver]

It just worries me when I realise that I may be similarly afflicted when I finally reach your age!

Have you ever thought of installing a Cherry Bomb?

[mybrainhurts]

It's the cherry bum you need to worry about...

[BoRED S2upid]

You need more bran in your diet.

[mybrainhurts]

You're trying to trap me, aren't you..?

[PoleDriver]

mybrainhurts said:

You're trying to trap me, aren't you..?

Yes!
In a hermetically sealed container!

[mybrainhurts]

That won't hold my trouser tremblers...

[BoRED S2upid]

Take up swimming, at least they will be silent.

[bobbylondonuk]

put a whistle up your bum.

[Dalto123]

bobbylondonuk said:

put a whistle up your bum.

I thought that was only if they were silent but violent By OP's description they soud like theyre quite loud?

[Changedmyname]

I guess you didn't make a ring tone then?


Just a thought.

[mybrainhurts]

Changedmyname said:

I guess you didn't make a ring tone then?

I see what you did there...


...you dirty beast.

[Halb]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evwLzR57wsc

[mybrainhurts]

Huh, that's nothing. I'm doing V8s and V12s here....