Emotional eating and being unlucky in life?
Discussion
Feeling great tonight. I managed to buy 3 tickets online to see Coldplay in concert in Paris at the Stade de France on 15th July 2017.
I had to wait 3hours in an online queue but got 3 excellent seats in the end. I decided to treat myself and take my 2 kids!
180000 tickets sold out in a couple of hours!!!!
I'll be 50 next April so i'm going to make a list of things i want to do!!!
I had to wait 3hours in an online queue but got 3 excellent seats in the end. I decided to treat myself and take my 2 kids!
180000 tickets sold out in a couple of hours!!!!
I'll be 50 next April so i'm going to make a list of things i want to do!!!
Absolutely fantastic day yesterday at the Paris motor show. The wait was predictably long to get in, despite having already bought a ticket, due to the extra security security measures compared to previous years.
I made a bee line straight for the Ferrari stand and i got on!!! Magical. I managed to get a business card from one of the sales reps on the stand so i used that to get on the Maserati one too!
After that the other highlights were the Jaguar/Land Rover stand, Nissan to check out the GTR up close, Tesla, and Mercedes with the AMG models and a massive Maybach concept car. The Renault concept car was also pretty impressive as was the Clio RS 16.
The Lexus and Infiniti stands were the best for the friendly, approachable staff and they were also extremely polite and efficient ( unlike some of the premium German brands).
I found the Lexus GSF and the new Infiniti model extremely comfortable. Probably because i'm approaching the half century so more comfort and less rock hard sports seats!
I find it amazing the technology that modern cars have. Back in the 80's and 90's you were lucky to get electric windows and heated seats!
Another positive:
My work colleagues received notification Friday that the new president of the education company who employs us all in the private school will be cutting everyone's salary by 25%. The reason given: accounting black hole plus drop in student numbers plus increased overheads ( social charges and diverse company taxes).
I got informed that my salary won't finally drop to 1700 e but to 1850!! Better than nothing i suppose.My daughter will stay be entitled to free schooling ( 4000 euros/year fees normally)
That means i won't be among the lowest paid since everyone will more or less be paid between 1600 and 2000 euros/month.
Positive number 2: The ex has coughed up the money she owed me. She probably realized i wasn't going to back down and was prepared to state my case before the family affairs judge.
Final point: I went to my local gym this morning and did just under 3 hours of cardio, weights and stretching. Felt great afterwards.
I made a bee line straight for the Ferrari stand and i got on!!! Magical. I managed to get a business card from one of the sales reps on the stand so i used that to get on the Maserati one too!
After that the other highlights were the Jaguar/Land Rover stand, Nissan to check out the GTR up close, Tesla, and Mercedes with the AMG models and a massive Maybach concept car. The Renault concept car was also pretty impressive as was the Clio RS 16.
The Lexus and Infiniti stands were the best for the friendly, approachable staff and they were also extremely polite and efficient ( unlike some of the premium German brands).
I found the Lexus GSF and the new Infiniti model extremely comfortable. Probably because i'm approaching the half century so more comfort and less rock hard sports seats!
I find it amazing the technology that modern cars have. Back in the 80's and 90's you were lucky to get electric windows and heated seats!
Another positive:
My work colleagues received notification Friday that the new president of the education company who employs us all in the private school will be cutting everyone's salary by 25%. The reason given: accounting black hole plus drop in student numbers plus increased overheads ( social charges and diverse company taxes).
I got informed that my salary won't finally drop to 1700 e but to 1850!! Better than nothing i suppose.My daughter will stay be entitled to free schooling ( 4000 euros/year fees normally)
That means i won't be among the lowest paid since everyone will more or less be paid between 1600 and 2000 euros/month.
Positive number 2: The ex has coughed up the money she owed me. She probably realized i wasn't going to back down and was prepared to state my case before the family affairs judge.
Final point: I went to my local gym this morning and did just under 3 hours of cardio, weights and stretching. Felt great afterwards.
Hi ELUSIVEJIM. Thanks for asking. I'm fine, in fact i'm full of positive energy. Just got back from New York where i spent a week with 50 sixth formers. There were 5 adults and the said 50 teenagers ( aged 15-18 ) on the school trip, so with an incredibly packed schedule of visits, staying in the Hostelling International Central park, plus the time difference and the jet lag i'm physically exhausted but mentally on a high. Wow what an experience!
The energy and dynamism you feel just walking around Manhattan and Brooklyn is just so infectious. You can't help but feel that anything is possible. I'm glad to be back to see my kids again, son back from university and daughter eager to spend a week with me. However, i could definitely imagine myself living and working over there. There are endless possibilities. Ok life can be tough and the daily pace is frenetic but it's a place where you have to get off your backside and get things done yourself. I feel like i'm stuck in a rut, going nowhere in France. The bottom line is that if my daughter was already at sixth form i'd be seriously considering moving away.
I believe someone posted an earlier comment in this thread about me needing a change of scenery and not especially a change of job.
I spent a lot of time just thinking things over in New York. Having trouble sleeping i'd regularly get up about 4am and go out for a walk in and around Central Park or even take the subway downtown. I ended up meeting and chatting to numerous New Yorkers and chewing over life. They all made the same comment, get out of France as soon as possible and start a new life elsewhere! I met a firefighter who survived 9/11 and then with his disability allowance set up a deli store. Less stress and danger!
I'm still not sure what line of work i could do though if i changed scenery.
The energy and dynamism you feel just walking around Manhattan and Brooklyn is just so infectious. You can't help but feel that anything is possible. I'm glad to be back to see my kids again, son back from university and daughter eager to spend a week with me. However, i could definitely imagine myself living and working over there. There are endless possibilities. Ok life can be tough and the daily pace is frenetic but it's a place where you have to get off your backside and get things done yourself. I feel like i'm stuck in a rut, going nowhere in France. The bottom line is that if my daughter was already at sixth form i'd be seriously considering moving away.
I believe someone posted an earlier comment in this thread about me needing a change of scenery and not especially a change of job.
I spent a lot of time just thinking things over in New York. Having trouble sleeping i'd regularly get up about 4am and go out for a walk in and around Central Park or even take the subway downtown. I ended up meeting and chatting to numerous New Yorkers and chewing over life. They all made the same comment, get out of France as soon as possible and start a new life elsewhere! I met a firefighter who survived 9/11 and then with his disability allowance set up a deli store. Less stress and danger!
I'm still not sure what line of work i could do though if i changed scenery.
It's definitely my psychological state that effects my eating habits. Ex, in New York i was on a permanent high for the whole week, ate a huge breakfast then survived on snacks during the day. I lost 2 kg ( miles of walking plus constantly dealing with issues etc). Back home since yesterday and i'm feeling depressed. Hence the overwhelming desire to over eat!
My flat is spacious, comfortable, and warm. However, there's an eery silence and it's empty. My kids have gone off for a week's holiday with their mum but i get them for the second week of the half term hols.
Coming back from the high energy, hustle and bustle of New York to the depressingly familiar surroundings of my home town ,and the ex, has just put a downer on life!
I want to get out of here. I decided when i was i New York that i absolutely don't want to be living in the same flat, in the same town, or working in the same school here in France 5 years down the line when my daughter's passed her baccalaureate!!!!
Now i've made that decision the next one is harder. What skills/qualifications do i need to give me a chance at aged 50+ to start over again somewhere else?
I'm an experienced teacher, but i guess i'm not the kind of highly skilled professional that the American govt wants!
Any ideas PH's?
My flat is spacious, comfortable, and warm. However, there's an eery silence and it's empty. My kids have gone off for a week's holiday with their mum but i get them for the second week of the half term hols.
Coming back from the high energy, hustle and bustle of New York to the depressingly familiar surroundings of my home town ,and the ex, has just put a downer on life!
I want to get out of here. I decided when i was i New York that i absolutely don't want to be living in the same flat, in the same town, or working in the same school here in France 5 years down the line when my daughter's passed her baccalaureate!!!!
Now i've made that decision the next one is harder. What skills/qualifications do i need to give me a chance at aged 50+ to start over again somewhere else?
I'm an experienced teacher, but i guess i'm not the kind of highly skilled professional that the American govt wants!
Any ideas PH's?
I'm not planning on running off to New York straight away but the idea of someday moving there definitely appeals. There's nothing in France to keep me here in the long term. In the short term i'm focusing on my children and making sure i'm there for them, but in the back of my mind i know one day that both will be grown up and leave the nest. The thought of being stuck in the same town where my ex now has the family home, where all our joint friends have all turned their backs on me, and where i've got absolutely zero chance of having a better job fills me with a sense of dread.
I kept telling myself that i've got to find a way out. Changing careers at 50 is more feasible in the UK/USA than here in France where you train for a job for life.
I know that i need to break out of my confort zone but to do that scares me to death. Little voices keep telling me that i haven't achieved anything in life, which is why i'm stuck in a dead end job ( one that i love doing) having to accept a crap salary just so that i can keep on seeing my daughter.
The key word is CONFIDENCE.
I have this urge to change my life and physically move away from my past. Everytime i panic and end up finding excusses not to do anything.
I just don't know where to start. Probably the best option is to continue in the educational field, since i've been working in that area for the past 25 years. I'm passionate about history, i love meeting new people, feel at ease in public, i adore telling stories, although i'm essentially a loner rather than a team player ( i'm happy working in a team but like to be given freedom to do things my way, and i especially detest receiving orders from authoritarian but incompetent individuals).
France is perfect if you're after a quiet family life, where everything is provided, but where you're expected to train and get qualified for one career and do that in the same company for the rest of your life.
France is messed up economically because more and more of the French are on the scrapheap at 45/50 and haven't got a chance in hell of doing anything else. The American attitude that you keep failling until you finally succeed, that anythings possible with hard graft and a bit of luck is the complete opposite of the French way of doing things.
The whole system here is designed to keep the workers happy in their confort zones. Any desire to break out from the mould, to try something different is stiffled and suffocated with red tape, working practices and people's total indifference!
The digital age is going to change many people's working lives in the next 10-20 years, and i feel that i don't have any skills to make me employable to other prospective employers.
I feel like there's a whole world out there to explore which loads of people are out there taking advantage of, except me.
Ok i'm moaning again so i'll stop that right away.
Any ideas on where i start?
I kept telling myself that i've got to find a way out. Changing careers at 50 is more feasible in the UK/USA than here in France where you train for a job for life.
I know that i need to break out of my confort zone but to do that scares me to death. Little voices keep telling me that i haven't achieved anything in life, which is why i'm stuck in a dead end job ( one that i love doing) having to accept a crap salary just so that i can keep on seeing my daughter.
The key word is CONFIDENCE.
I have this urge to change my life and physically move away from my past. Everytime i panic and end up finding excusses not to do anything.
I just don't know where to start. Probably the best option is to continue in the educational field, since i've been working in that area for the past 25 years. I'm passionate about history, i love meeting new people, feel at ease in public, i adore telling stories, although i'm essentially a loner rather than a team player ( i'm happy working in a team but like to be given freedom to do things my way, and i especially detest receiving orders from authoritarian but incompetent individuals).
France is perfect if you're after a quiet family life, where everything is provided, but where you're expected to train and get qualified for one career and do that in the same company for the rest of your life.
France is messed up economically because more and more of the French are on the scrapheap at 45/50 and haven't got a chance in hell of doing anything else. The American attitude that you keep failling until you finally succeed, that anythings possible with hard graft and a bit of luck is the complete opposite of the French way of doing things.
The whole system here is designed to keep the workers happy in their confort zones. Any desire to break out from the mould, to try something different is stiffled and suffocated with red tape, working practices and people's total indifference!
The digital age is going to change many people's working lives in the next 10-20 years, and i feel that i don't have any skills to make me employable to other prospective employers.
I feel like there's a whole world out there to explore which loads of people are out there taking advantage of, except me.
Ok i'm moaning again so i'll stop that right away.
Any ideas on where i start?
Edited by rosbif77 on Friday 21st October 15:05
Absolutely bloody depressed today. I feel like i'm on one of those huge roller coasters!!
Yesterday i was bursting with positive vibes and now i feel like chucking everything in !
The reason?
I took the advice of ELUSIVEJIM and sent my dad a letter la couple of weeks ago, laying out all my thoughts, feelings, emotions about my life, my relationship with him and basically to get everything off my chest.
He phoned me this morning. I told me that i've completely wasted my life, my education ( which he spent a fortune on!!!), that i chose to move to France, get married here, have kids here, and all that despite him telling me not to do any of those because he knew it would all go wrong eventually. I ignored his advice, chose to leave my country of birth, and therefore he 'washed his hands of me' ( his own words).
My sister, on the other hand, according to him, chose to settle down in her home town and has worked her guts of to achieve a fantastic life with no outside help. This conveniently ignores the fact that my sister was allowed to leave school at 16 with minimum 'O' levels, dropped out of 6th form, moved in with her boyfriend at 18, dad financed her 'shopping' till she was 21, then gave her several cash lump sums to buy her first house, buy 2 other properties, and advised her on how to maximise her rental properties. She's never had a stable job in her life, lives of her rental income, and spends her days watching US TV series and Premier League match re-runs!!! My dad just blew his top when i mentioned all this and told me that my university education had cost him a bloody fortune ( i got a small grant so my dad had to legally make up the difference, and i worked my socks off every Summer to earn extra money), and that my degree was useless for a stable career!!
The conversation got more heated and finally the real reason for his attitude towards me came out:
' i never wanted kids but your mum came off the pill and you turned up. She never told me till it was too late. We couldn't afford you then so we had to really cut back on things after you were born. Off course once we had one boy your mum wanted a second so i had to go along with it!!! That really changed our lives'!!!!!
He continued, ' your grandparents( on my mum's side) never did anything constructive with their lives. You take after your grand dad who wasted his money on cars, holidays and living for today. You're just the same. You never planned for your future. I told you not to move to France, i told you i couldn't trust your new MIL, but no, you ignored me, so from that day on you were on your own!!!'
He continued' ' What do you think it was like to cycle home for lunch and find your dad with his head blown off lying on the cycle path in front of you? I had to call the police and wait by him till they arrived. I had to identify him at the morgue because my mum was distraught. No one looked after me then. Back then you just got on with your life. What about all those burnt and dismembered bomber crews i saw through the wire of the US air force base? ( during WW2)You've never had to cut a mans throat, or blow someone's head off , or kill someone with a rock ( his military service in Suez/Aden), just to get out alive'
He then brought up the subject of his age ( 86) and will. He stated that in his will my sister and i won't be getting 90% ( his share of the combined capital) but the step mother decided it was better that overtime one of her nieces has a baby that child will inherit a share. On my stepmother's side of the family all her nieces received cash from their well off parents to get on the property ladder, their kids have always treated 'auntie' ( the step mum) as a mobile bank account and regularly get holidays paid for, designer clothes bought, new cars paid for in cash. My dad won't even stand up for sister and me.
Before my dad got married to my future step mum he sold up fthe large family home in the New Forest for a sizable sum, cashed in numerous life insurance policies, sold up his shares, sold his cars,and all the savings accounts he had set up for my sister and i when we were young were closed. All that added up to an estimated £1.3 million back in the mid 1990's. A huge sum back then. My step mum did the same but she only had her own small cottage. ( worth about £100000 in 1995)
Together they bought a nice bungalow and since then have enjoyed their retirement together. I was happy for my dad to have found someone else after my mum died, and i was contented that they've travelled a lot and enjoyed life.
My bone of contention is that the step mum's nieces and their children have had their confortable, extravagant lifestyles funded from the joint investments of my dad and step mum. My dad told me he put in 90% of the joint invested capital, he bought half a dozen flats to rent out, and even financed one of the step mum's friend's web business.
That means he's indirectly buying new cars, designer clothes, paying for housing deposits for the step mum's nieces, all the time telling me to get off my backside, stop moaning and stop wasting my life. Oh i forgot. Each of my step mum's nieces ( 4) have all got married to the 'wrong type', got divorced, all dropped out of higher education, and all were protected from the harsh realities of life by frequent generous cash handouts from my dad and step mum.
When i got divorced back in Feb 2015 my dad sent me a £20 Marks and Spencers gift voucher which he told me to spend on 'something nice'. At the same time he paid for a luxury trip to California for the step mum's 'favourite' niece and then bought her a new Mini Cooper when she got back. Last year they gave the said niece £50000 as deposit on a new build!
My dad angrily told me that this niece deserved every penny she received because she had been through a hellish divorce, was a lovely person, whereas i left my country of birth therefore deserved nothing.
He finally told me that there were 10 people listed on the will to inherit when he eventually passes away ( me, my sister, the aforementioned 4 step mum's nieces, and 4 of their children). He has now changed the will. My share will go to my sister!
The reason? This is what i was told:
' You've always had it good. I looked after you when you were young. I sent you to a good school. You got bullied because you allowed yourself to be bullied. You were weak. You studied for a rubbish degree at university ( history/English). You never held down a stable job. You could've had a career in England but you chose to get married to a Frenchwoman and emigrate. You then chose to have two children born in France, who aren't English. Finally, you obviously did something wrong otherwise your wife wouldn't have gone off with another man. Finally, you're just like your mum, who frankly never did anything with her life. Don't expect me to fund your future life!'
I don't know how a parent can have this attitude towards their own child. I keep wondering what went wrong, what did i do to deserve these words, why i've always been treated differently compared to my sister, and why my dad has never once recognized what i went through at school, how despite all the ups and downs in my life so far, he's never congratulated me once on how well i've brought up my own children, or why he's never once been able to say that he loved me!!!!
Thanks for reading to the end. This was a very tough post to write. I've got no idea how i'm going to get over what my dad said to me!
Yesterday i was bursting with positive vibes and now i feel like chucking everything in !
The reason?
I took the advice of ELUSIVEJIM and sent my dad a letter la couple of weeks ago, laying out all my thoughts, feelings, emotions about my life, my relationship with him and basically to get everything off my chest.
He phoned me this morning. I told me that i've completely wasted my life, my education ( which he spent a fortune on!!!), that i chose to move to France, get married here, have kids here, and all that despite him telling me not to do any of those because he knew it would all go wrong eventually. I ignored his advice, chose to leave my country of birth, and therefore he 'washed his hands of me' ( his own words).
My sister, on the other hand, according to him, chose to settle down in her home town and has worked her guts of to achieve a fantastic life with no outside help. This conveniently ignores the fact that my sister was allowed to leave school at 16 with minimum 'O' levels, dropped out of 6th form, moved in with her boyfriend at 18, dad financed her 'shopping' till she was 21, then gave her several cash lump sums to buy her first house, buy 2 other properties, and advised her on how to maximise her rental properties. She's never had a stable job in her life, lives of her rental income, and spends her days watching US TV series and Premier League match re-runs!!! My dad just blew his top when i mentioned all this and told me that my university education had cost him a bloody fortune ( i got a small grant so my dad had to legally make up the difference, and i worked my socks off every Summer to earn extra money), and that my degree was useless for a stable career!!
The conversation got more heated and finally the real reason for his attitude towards me came out:
' i never wanted kids but your mum came off the pill and you turned up. She never told me till it was too late. We couldn't afford you then so we had to really cut back on things after you were born. Off course once we had one boy your mum wanted a second so i had to go along with it!!! That really changed our lives'!!!!!
He continued, ' your grandparents( on my mum's side) never did anything constructive with their lives. You take after your grand dad who wasted his money on cars, holidays and living for today. You're just the same. You never planned for your future. I told you not to move to France, i told you i couldn't trust your new MIL, but no, you ignored me, so from that day on you were on your own!!!'
He continued' ' What do you think it was like to cycle home for lunch and find your dad with his head blown off lying on the cycle path in front of you? I had to call the police and wait by him till they arrived. I had to identify him at the morgue because my mum was distraught. No one looked after me then. Back then you just got on with your life. What about all those burnt and dismembered bomber crews i saw through the wire of the US air force base? ( during WW2)You've never had to cut a mans throat, or blow someone's head off , or kill someone with a rock ( his military service in Suez/Aden), just to get out alive'
He then brought up the subject of his age ( 86) and will. He stated that in his will my sister and i won't be getting 90% ( his share of the combined capital) but the step mother decided it was better that overtime one of her nieces has a baby that child will inherit a share. On my stepmother's side of the family all her nieces received cash from their well off parents to get on the property ladder, their kids have always treated 'auntie' ( the step mum) as a mobile bank account and regularly get holidays paid for, designer clothes bought, new cars paid for in cash. My dad won't even stand up for sister and me.
Before my dad got married to my future step mum he sold up fthe large family home in the New Forest for a sizable sum, cashed in numerous life insurance policies, sold up his shares, sold his cars,and all the savings accounts he had set up for my sister and i when we were young were closed. All that added up to an estimated £1.3 million back in the mid 1990's. A huge sum back then. My step mum did the same but she only had her own small cottage. ( worth about £100000 in 1995)
Together they bought a nice bungalow and since then have enjoyed their retirement together. I was happy for my dad to have found someone else after my mum died, and i was contented that they've travelled a lot and enjoyed life.
My bone of contention is that the step mum's nieces and their children have had their confortable, extravagant lifestyles funded from the joint investments of my dad and step mum. My dad told me he put in 90% of the joint invested capital, he bought half a dozen flats to rent out, and even financed one of the step mum's friend's web business.
That means he's indirectly buying new cars, designer clothes, paying for housing deposits for the step mum's nieces, all the time telling me to get off my backside, stop moaning and stop wasting my life. Oh i forgot. Each of my step mum's nieces ( 4) have all got married to the 'wrong type', got divorced, all dropped out of higher education, and all were protected from the harsh realities of life by frequent generous cash handouts from my dad and step mum.
When i got divorced back in Feb 2015 my dad sent me a £20 Marks and Spencers gift voucher which he told me to spend on 'something nice'. At the same time he paid for a luxury trip to California for the step mum's 'favourite' niece and then bought her a new Mini Cooper when she got back. Last year they gave the said niece £50000 as deposit on a new build!
My dad angrily told me that this niece deserved every penny she received because she had been through a hellish divorce, was a lovely person, whereas i left my country of birth therefore deserved nothing.
He finally told me that there were 10 people listed on the will to inherit when he eventually passes away ( me, my sister, the aforementioned 4 step mum's nieces, and 4 of their children). He has now changed the will. My share will go to my sister!
The reason? This is what i was told:
' You've always had it good. I looked after you when you were young. I sent you to a good school. You got bullied because you allowed yourself to be bullied. You were weak. You studied for a rubbish degree at university ( history/English). You never held down a stable job. You could've had a career in England but you chose to get married to a Frenchwoman and emigrate. You then chose to have two children born in France, who aren't English. Finally, you obviously did something wrong otherwise your wife wouldn't have gone off with another man. Finally, you're just like your mum, who frankly never did anything with her life. Don't expect me to fund your future life!'
I don't know how a parent can have this attitude towards their own child. I keep wondering what went wrong, what did i do to deserve these words, why i've always been treated differently compared to my sister, and why my dad has never once recognized what i went through at school, how despite all the ups and downs in my life so far, he's never congratulated me once on how well i've brought up my own children, or why he's never once been able to say that he loved me!!!!
Thanks for reading to the end. This was a very tough post to write. I've got no idea how i'm going to get over what my dad said to me!
Edited by rosbif77 on Saturday 22 October 15:06
I went for a medical checkup this afternoon.
My blood pressure is 160/120 !!!!
GP told me to cut out all sugar/salt/fat.
Weight :88kg down from 94 in August!
Discovered the ex had been seeing her 'friend' back in 2011 even though she claimed her relationship with him only began end 2013!!!
The MIL knew all about it, so did most of the in laws.
I feel like a complete mug and totally blind for having complete trust in my OH.
I took my kids to the cinema yesterday, then treated them to a lovely meal and some pre Winter clothes shopping.
Fantastic therapy. Much better than some pills!
My blood pressure is 160/120 !!!!
GP told me to cut out all sugar/salt/fat.
Weight :88kg down from 94 in August!
Discovered the ex had been seeing her 'friend' back in 2011 even though she claimed her relationship with him only began end 2013!!!
The MIL knew all about it, so did most of the in laws.
I feel like a complete mug and totally blind for having complete trust in my OH.
I took my kids to the cinema yesterday, then treated them to a lovely meal and some pre Winter clothes shopping.
Fantastic therapy. Much better than some pills!
Edited by rosbif77 on Friday 28th October 20:15
[quote=rosbif77]I'm not planning on running off to New York straight away but the idea of someday moving there definitely appeals. There's nothing in France to keep me here in the long term. In the short term i'm focusing on my children and making sure i'm there for them, but in the back of my mind i know one day that both will be grown up and leave the nest. The thought of being stuck in the same town where my ex now has the family home, where all our joint friends have all turned their backs on me, and where i've got absolutely zero chance of having a better job fills me with a sense of dread.
I kept telling myself that i've got to find a way out. Changing careers at 50 is more feasible in the UK/USA than here in France where you train for a job for life.
I know that i need to break out of my confort zone but to do that scares me to death. Little voices keep telling me that i haven't achieved anything in life, which is why i'm stuck in a dead end job ( one that i love doing) having to accept a crap salary just so that i can keep on seeing my daughter.
The key word is CONFIDENCE.
I have this urge to change my life and physically move away from my past. Everytime i panic and end up finding excusses not to do anything.
I just don't know where to start. Probably the best option is to continue in the educational field, since i've been working in that area for the past 25 years. I'm passionate about history, i love meeting new people, feel at ease in public, i adore telling stories, although i'm essentially a loner rather than a team player ( i'm happy working in a team but like to be given freedom to do things my way, and i especially detest receiving orders from authoritarian but incompetent individuals).
France is perfect if you're after a quiet family life, where everything is provided, but where you're expected to train and get qualified for one career and do that in the same company for the rest of your life.
France is messed up economically because more and more of the French are on the scrapheap at 45/50 and haven't got a chance in hell of doing anything else. The American attitude that you keep failling until you finally succeed, that anythings possible with hard graft and a bit of luck is the complete opposite of the French way of doing things.
The whole system here is designed to keep the workers happy in their confort zones. Any desire to break out from the mould, to try something different is stiffled and suffocated with red tape, working practices and people's total indifference!
The digital age is going to change many people's working lives in the next 10-20 years, and i feel that i don't have any skills to make me employable to other prospective employers.
I feel like there's a whole world out there to explore which loads of people are out there taking advantage of, except me.
Ok i'm moaning again so i'll stop that right away.
Any ideas on where i start?
Any ideas where to start?
I kept telling myself that i've got to find a way out. Changing careers at 50 is more feasible in the UK/USA than here in France where you train for a job for life.
I know that i need to break out of my confort zone but to do that scares me to death. Little voices keep telling me that i haven't achieved anything in life, which is why i'm stuck in a dead end job ( one that i love doing) having to accept a crap salary just so that i can keep on seeing my daughter.
The key word is CONFIDENCE.
I have this urge to change my life and physically move away from my past. Everytime i panic and end up finding excusses not to do anything.
I just don't know where to start. Probably the best option is to continue in the educational field, since i've been working in that area for the past 25 years. I'm passionate about history, i love meeting new people, feel at ease in public, i adore telling stories, although i'm essentially a loner rather than a team player ( i'm happy working in a team but like to be given freedom to do things my way, and i especially detest receiving orders from authoritarian but incompetent individuals).
France is perfect if you're after a quiet family life, where everything is provided, but where you're expected to train and get qualified for one career and do that in the same company for the rest of your life.
France is messed up economically because more and more of the French are on the scrapheap at 45/50 and haven't got a chance in hell of doing anything else. The American attitude that you keep failling until you finally succeed, that anythings possible with hard graft and a bit of luck is the complete opposite of the French way of doing things.
The whole system here is designed to keep the workers happy in their confort zones. Any desire to break out from the mould, to try something different is stiffled and suffocated with red tape, working practices and people's total indifference!
The digital age is going to change many people's working lives in the next 10-20 years, and i feel that i don't have any skills to make me employable to other prospective employers.
I feel like there's a whole world out there to explore which loads of people are out there taking advantage of, except me.
Ok i'm moaning again so i'll stop that right away.
Any ideas on where i start?
Edited by rosbif77 on Friday 21st October 15:05
[/quotAny ideas where to start?
Yesterday was another disastrous day!
I went to CDD airport to pick up my son ( he'd been to Berlin for 24h research trip), and as we were leaving the terminal. and heading back to my car i was knocked down by a couple running with a baggage trolley. Fell on my arm: hurt like hell!!!
Not one person stopped to help me. Several motorists even honked at me as i was lying on the ground in the car park!! Another family even walked right by when my son asked them to call the security!!!! Two French people also pushed past and swore at me for blocking the way!!!
The security team claimed they never saw anything. The couple who rammed into me didn't even stop. I still have the wheel marks where they ran over my arm after i was knocked over!!!!
I asked security guy to look on CCTV to identify couple. He ignored this, said he was on his own and i had to wait till his supervisor came back!!!!!
I managed, with a lot of difficulty, and steering with one hand, to drive myself to my local ER!!!
Had x-ray: 3 hairline fractures in elbow. Arm is in cast with a sling. No work for 2 weeks. No sport for min 2 months!!! Just when i was getting used to going to the gym!
Totally depressed and wondering why i keep having s
t happen to me!!
I went to CDD airport to pick up my son ( he'd been to Berlin for 24h research trip), and as we were leaving the terminal. and heading back to my car i was knocked down by a couple running with a baggage trolley. Fell on my arm: hurt like hell!!!
Not one person stopped to help me. Several motorists even honked at me as i was lying on the ground in the car park!! Another family even walked right by when my son asked them to call the security!!!! Two French people also pushed past and swore at me for blocking the way!!!
The security team claimed they never saw anything. The couple who rammed into me didn't even stop. I still have the wheel marks where they ran over my arm after i was knocked over!!!!
I asked security guy to look on CCTV to identify couple. He ignored this, said he was on his own and i had to wait till his supervisor came back!!!!!
I managed, with a lot of difficulty, and steering with one hand, to drive myself to my local ER!!!
Had x-ray: 3 hairline fractures in elbow. Arm is in cast with a sling. No work for 2 weeks. No sport for min 2 months!!! Just when i was getting used to going to the gym!
Totally depressed and wondering why i keep having s
t happen to me!!Edited by rosbif77 on Sunday 30th October 10:12
Edited by rosbif77 on Sunday 30th October 10:20
rosbif77 said:
Yesterday was another disastrous day!
I went to CDD airport last night to pick up my son ( he'd been to Berlin for day ), and as we were leaving the terminal. and heading back to my car i was knocked down by a couple running with a baggage trolley. Fell on my arm: hurt like hell!!!
Not one person stopped to help me. Several motorists even honked at me as i was lying on the ground in the car park!! Another family even walked right by when my son asked them to call the security!!!! Two French people also pushed past and swore at me for blocking the way!!!
The couple who rammed into me didn't even stop. I still have the wheel marks where they ran over my arm after i was knocked over!!!!
I asked a security guy to look on CCTV to identify couple. He ignored this, said he was on his own and i had to wait till his supervisor came back, in the morning!!!!!!!
I managed, with a lot of difficulty, and steering with one hand, to drive myself to my local ER!!!
Had to wait nearly 5h!!!!!
Had x-ray: 3 hairline fractures in elbow. Arm is in a sling. No work for 2 weeks. No sport for min 2 months!!! Just when i was getting used to going to the gym!
Totally depressed and wondering why i keep having st happen to me!!
I went to CDD airport last night to pick up my son ( he'd been to Berlin for day ), and as we were leaving the terminal. and heading back to my car i was knocked down by a couple running with a baggage trolley. Fell on my arm: hurt like hell!!!
Not one person stopped to help me. Several motorists even honked at me as i was lying on the ground in the car park!! Another family even walked right by when my son asked them to call the security!!!! Two French people also pushed past and swore at me for blocking the way!!!
The couple who rammed into me didn't even stop. I still have the wheel marks where they ran over my arm after i was knocked over!!!!
I asked a security guy to look on CCTV to identify couple. He ignored this, said he was on his own and i had to wait till his supervisor came back, in the morning!!!!!!!
I managed, with a lot of difficulty, and steering with one hand, to drive myself to my local ER!!!
Had to wait nearly 5h!!!!!
Had x-ray: 3 hairline fractures in elbow. Arm is in a sling. No work for 2 weeks. No sport for min 2 months!!! Just when i was getting used to going to the gym!
Totally depressed and wondering why i keep having s
t happen to me!!Edited by rosbif77 on Sunday 30th October 10:12
Edited by rosbif77 on Sunday 30th October 10:20
Thanks johnfm for the advice. I'm currently reading the for dummies series of books about Mindfulness, and boosting self-esteem..
It's helping me to see things in a different perspective.
When i see myself at 49 divorced, losing motivation to teach, struggling to save for my future, lonely with zero friends or family ( except my 2 children), and with every day and every week the same boring routine, i wonder where i went wrong.
I look back through my whole life up to now and i see a lack of motivation, ambition and drive.
All the problems/obstacles that were placed in my path i managed to overcome, although i never thought of it as a success at the time.
I guess that's what happens when you're surrounded by people who treat you like rubbish, and every comment they make is designed to put you down.
I passed 5 GCSE'S without trying, wrote dozens of short stories every night, got a BA in history/English with just the minimum amount of revision, found jobs and lost jobs, had to endure personal loss and suffering without anyone's help or compassion, survived being knocked down and resuscitated, learnt to walk again, moved to France to start a new life and then 17 years later had to fight my corner against everyone when i got divorced.
I never gave 100% to get through the above. In fact the only times i really had to use my deepest reserves was when i had to literally fight to breathe and live during my school bullying!
I've never forgotten those horrific days and i doubt i ever will.
The point i'm making is that i've never used my full potential or really had to work hard, because i guess i never had the drive or ambition. Nothing really inspired me except writing stories and enjoyng photography. Unfortunately, everyone close to me did their upmost to rid me of those silly desires to follow my passions.
I just buried them and ended up believing i'd never succeed in them anyway since i was obviously lacking in talent!
I feel like i've got a split personality. One half of me is desperate to start a new life, the other constantly finding reasons why that's impossible.
It's helping me to see things in a different perspective.
When i see myself at 49 divorced, losing motivation to teach, struggling to save for my future, lonely with zero friends or family ( except my 2 children), and with every day and every week the same boring routine, i wonder where i went wrong.
I look back through my whole life up to now and i see a lack of motivation, ambition and drive.
All the problems/obstacles that were placed in my path i managed to overcome, although i never thought of it as a success at the time.
I guess that's what happens when you're surrounded by people who treat you like rubbish, and every comment they make is designed to put you down.
I passed 5 GCSE'S without trying, wrote dozens of short stories every night, got a BA in history/English with just the minimum amount of revision, found jobs and lost jobs, had to endure personal loss and suffering without anyone's help or compassion, survived being knocked down and resuscitated, learnt to walk again, moved to France to start a new life and then 17 years later had to fight my corner against everyone when i got divorced.
I never gave 100% to get through the above. In fact the only times i really had to use my deepest reserves was when i had to literally fight to breathe and live during my school bullying!
I've never forgotten those horrific days and i doubt i ever will.
The point i'm making is that i've never used my full potential or really had to work hard, because i guess i never had the drive or ambition. Nothing really inspired me except writing stories and enjoyng photography. Unfortunately, everyone close to me did their upmost to rid me of those silly desires to follow my passions.
I just buried them and ended up believing i'd never succeed in them anyway since i was obviously lacking in talent!
I feel like i've got a split personality. One half of me is desperate to start a new life, the other constantly finding reasons why that's impossible.
Edited by rosbif77 on Sunday 30th October 21:03
Originally i planned to stay in my teaching job and slowly build up the private tutoring side. I advertised on specific websites, put up some flyers in shops in certain neighbourhoods that i targetted, and spread by word of mouth my tutoring skills. I only got 5 parents interested. Of those only 2 were willing to pay me for private tutoring and both stopped after only 1 month. Their children had 150€ sneakers, multiplie Apple gadgets, even a new Mini at aged 18, but weren't prepared to pay 25-30€/ hour for weekly lessons.
One parent still owes me 100€!
In Paris i got no interest because i wouldn't drop my hourly rate to 10€!!! Too many foreign students offering low hourly rates.
Previous post: i've basically been drifting all my life professionally since I've never really set myself any career objectives.
I went into teaching because i love history, love communicating with people and wanted to share my passion for the subject. I never set out to be become head of history or English, although having seen numerous heads of subject in action over the years, i seriously wonder how they made it to that position!
I've been writing on and off for the past few weeks and finding it hard going. My inspiration is lacking, probably because i've been feeling depressed.
I lack success in my life and believe that if it hasn't happened now that i'm aged 49, then it probably never will. How many people become successful and contented after the age of 50 by following their passion?
I'm really anxious about stepping out of my confort zone. Scared about the future.
Is this normal?
One parent still owes me 100€!
In Paris i got no interest because i wouldn't drop my hourly rate to 10€!!! Too many foreign students offering low hourly rates.
Previous post: i've basically been drifting all my life professionally since I've never really set myself any career objectives.
I went into teaching because i love history, love communicating with people and wanted to share my passion for the subject. I never set out to be become head of history or English, although having seen numerous heads of subject in action over the years, i seriously wonder how they made it to that position!
I've been writing on and off for the past few weeks and finding it hard going. My inspiration is lacking, probably because i've been feeling depressed.
I lack success in my life and believe that if it hasn't happened now that i'm aged 49, then it probably never will. How many people become successful and contented after the age of 50 by following their passion?
I'm really anxious about stepping out of my confort zone. Scared about the future.
Is this normal?
Just finished a pile of job application letters to every private school in Hampshire/Dorset/Sussex. Will start there then work northwards.
Contacted return to teaching to enquire about refresher courses etc.
On official govt education website my teaching status is listed as QTS ( Qualified Teaching Status)., so i guess i don't have to do a TAS course for returning teachers.
I've also contacted several family lawyers concerning daughter. She's 13 now so can legally choose which parent to live with under French law, but the family affairs judge has the final say.
Also sent email to French tax authorities enquiring about tax situation if i return to UK.
Stage 2. Apply to private schools in Normandy/Calais area.
Contacted return to teaching to enquire about refresher courses etc.
On official govt education website my teaching status is listed as QTS ( Qualified Teaching Status)., so i guess i don't have to do a TAS course for returning teachers.
I've also contacted several family lawyers concerning daughter. She's 13 now so can legally choose which parent to live with under French law, but the family affairs judge has the final say.
Also sent email to French tax authorities enquiring about tax situation if i return to UK.
Stage 2. Apply to private schools in Normandy/Calais area.
I need some advice.
I sat down with my kids last night and over a bowl of popcorn chatted about the future. I explained my situation to them. They were very understanding. My son doesn't mind if i return to the UK, he wants to do a master's degree in International Relations or military strategy anyway in Paris, whereas my daughter wants to stay in the same school until she's 18. She doesn't want me to go back to England, although she stated she would prefer to live just with me but still see her mum. Confusing!!!
She'll pass her Brevet ( French secondary educational certificate) in July 2018. She'll be 15 then and at that point would move up to the lycée (6th form). She absolutely doesn't want to leave her current school.
Several options:
1. I return to the UK. My daughter would then have to go to another school. The ex would get full custody under French law.
2. I wait till Summer 2018 when my daughter has finished secondary school. She might then decide to move with me to England.
3. I find another teaching job somewhere else in France. Daughter moves with me. I ask for full custody.
4. I stay in same school. In my free time i work like hell and try to finish My novel manuscipt, i learn to type properly, i improve my IT skills and create a writer's blog/website, and i eventually get published!! I hit the jackpot!!!!
5. Something else i haven't thought of yet!!!!
I sat down with my kids last night and over a bowl of popcorn chatted about the future. I explained my situation to them. They were very understanding. My son doesn't mind if i return to the UK, he wants to do a master's degree in International Relations or military strategy anyway in Paris, whereas my daughter wants to stay in the same school until she's 18. She doesn't want me to go back to England, although she stated she would prefer to live just with me but still see her mum. Confusing!!!
She'll pass her Brevet ( French secondary educational certificate) in July 2018. She'll be 15 then and at that point would move up to the lycée (6th form). She absolutely doesn't want to leave her current school.
Several options:
1. I return to the UK. My daughter would then have to go to another school. The ex would get full custody under French law.
2. I wait till Summer 2018 when my daughter has finished secondary school. She might then decide to move with me to England.
3. I find another teaching job somewhere else in France. Daughter moves with me. I ask for full custody.
4. I stay in same school. In my free time i work like hell and try to finish My novel manuscipt, i learn to type properly, i improve my IT skills and create a writer's blog/website, and i eventually get published!! I hit the jackpot!!!!
5. Something else i haven't thought of yet!!!!
Hi there,
Options 4+5 are realistically the best choice because i don't want the ex to get full custody, and with the MIL use my 'running away back to England' to brainwash the kids!!!!
I've never had to get out of my confort zone and take a jump into the unknown before. I suppose you could say i've been drifting aimlessly all my life with no clearly definned personal objectives or career motivation.
I would admit that i've tended to lack ambition and drive career wise, and even though i'm an excellent teacher, i never set out to climb the career ladder.
I must have some drive and interior force because otherwise i would never have had the courage to survive the school bullying, being knocked down or fighting everyone on my own during the divorce.
Where do 'successful' people get their drive and motivation from?
What gives people the extra drive to aim higher than the rest of us?
Concerning finding a way to turn a passion into a money making venture/job, well i've always been passionate about cars, history, writing action/adventure stories, and finally photography.
Those are the things that get my adrenaline going. I've been fascinated by sports cars since my youth ( a neighbour bought an E type Jaguar), and my grandad took me to see James Hunt racing. That was 1976 i think.
The writing part, which you know about already, was an escape from the reality of school/home. I would spend any money i had on buying Commando/Look and Learn mags. Then i'd make up my own stories inspired by something i'd read.
As for photography i won a couple of prizes whilst at school for my photos of The New Forest. I would also sneak out of the house and photo the cruise liners sailing up The Solent, or try to snap the yacht racing.
I want to get away from here, i want a chance to start again, and i want to be financially independent with my own house and enough to live of when i retire. That's a lot of wants i know but i just don't know how to get them!
Options 4+5 are realistically the best choice because i don't want the ex to get full custody, and with the MIL use my 'running away back to England' to brainwash the kids!!!!
I've never had to get out of my confort zone and take a jump into the unknown before. I suppose you could say i've been drifting aimlessly all my life with no clearly definned personal objectives or career motivation.
I would admit that i've tended to lack ambition and drive career wise, and even though i'm an excellent teacher, i never set out to climb the career ladder.
I must have some drive and interior force because otherwise i would never have had the courage to survive the school bullying, being knocked down or fighting everyone on my own during the divorce.
Where do 'successful' people get their drive and motivation from?
What gives people the extra drive to aim higher than the rest of us?
Concerning finding a way to turn a passion into a money making venture/job, well i've always been passionate about cars, history, writing action/adventure stories, and finally photography.
Those are the things that get my adrenaline going. I've been fascinated by sports cars since my youth ( a neighbour bought an E type Jaguar), and my grandad took me to see James Hunt racing. That was 1976 i think.
The writing part, which you know about already, was an escape from the reality of school/home. I would spend any money i had on buying Commando/Look and Learn mags. Then i'd make up my own stories inspired by something i'd read.
As for photography i won a couple of prizes whilst at school for my photos of The New Forest. I would also sneak out of the house and photo the cruise liners sailing up The Solent, or try to snap the yacht racing.
I want to get away from here, i want a chance to start again, and i want to be financially independent with my own house and enough to live of when i retire. That's a lot of wants i know but i just don't know how to get them!
Edited by rosbif77 on Wednesday 2nd November 14:38
The ex decided to put herself first by breaking up the family for a 'toyboy' 7 years younger.
I put my children first instead of jumping at the first opportunity to start over again elsewhere.
My son's gone of to uni so the only issue concerns my daughter.
The divorce has certainly reinforced our relationship.
I know i'm stuck where i am unless i put my desires before my daughter's. She already has one parent who chose selfishness over the children, so that's the problem.
I put my children first instead of jumping at the first opportunity to start over again elsewhere.
My son's gone of to uni so the only issue concerns my daughter.
The divorce has certainly reinforced our relationship.
I know i'm stuck where i am unless i put my desires before my daughter's. She already has one parent who chose selfishness over the children, so that's the problem.
Hi there. Thanks for those of you who keep posting on this thread. I never expected this topic to run to over 200 posts when i first started it back in August!
Thanks everyone for trying to help me out. I've had more support on PH than in the whole of the past 2 years in France!
Ok, going back to the last post you've hit the nail on the head with your assessment of the situation. The ex and the MIL are just waiting to get their claws into my daughter and turn her against me. I'd be miserable on my own without her in England. I'm going to keep sending out the speculative job applications and see what turns up. It's worth a try even if most schools don't start recruiting until the spring for full time posts. At least they'll have my name/interest on file.
The bottom line is the money issue. My standard of living has gone down in the past 18 months and my savings won't last another 5 years at the current rate. That's why i'm advertising myself as a private tutor on certain specialised websites in the Paris area and put up flyers in key places.
I've bought a pile of self help books to improve my IT skills, bought a MacBook Pro ( to boost myself and force me to learn the stuff), plus i block off 1-2h a night to work on the novel.
Thanks everyone for trying to help me out. I've had more support on PH than in the whole of the past 2 years in France!
Ok, going back to the last post you've hit the nail on the head with your assessment of the situation. The ex and the MIL are just waiting to get their claws into my daughter and turn her against me. I'd be miserable on my own without her in England. I'm going to keep sending out the speculative job applications and see what turns up. It's worth a try even if most schools don't start recruiting until the spring for full time posts. At least they'll have my name/interest on file.
The bottom line is the money issue. My standard of living has gone down in the past 18 months and my savings won't last another 5 years at the current rate. That's why i'm advertising myself as a private tutor on certain specialised websites in the Paris area and put up flyers in key places.
I've bought a pile of self help books to improve my IT skills, bought a MacBook Pro ( to boost myself and force me to learn the stuff), plus i block off 1-2h a night to work on the novel.
Well i do because A.she is top of her class, has loads of friends and the school she would have to go to ( catchment area) is in the bottom 10 schools in the département( county!')
and B, her mum wants full custody if she goes to the local school. If i fight my corner i'm looking at a 12-18 month custody battle under French law. She'd probably then move to be closer to her family!
and B, her mum wants full custody if she goes to the local school. If i fight my corner i'm looking at a 12-18 month custody battle under French law. She'd probably then move to be closer to her family!
I'm currently of work on doctor's orders. The cause? Three weeks ago my dad died. He'd actually phoned me for the first time in ages on the Friday night and started to talk about his childhood, mine and how happy he'd been since he met my step mum.
On the following Sunday i'd planned to phone him back and get everything off my chest about our relationship. I didn't because an old university friend called me out of the blue.
Sunday night i went to bed about 11pm and was woken at 12.30am by a call on my mobile phone which i thought was my dad, but in fact was my step mum's brother announcing the sad news that my dad had just died from a suspected massive heart attack in his house. My step mum had heard him go to the bathroom and then he'd collapsed.
The coroner's report stated that he hadn't suffered at all.
The last 3 weeks have been hell. Terrible regrets that i didn't call my dad back on the Sunday afternoon the day he died.
Secondly, after taking the Monday off work and informing the school where i work why, my boss called me in to meeting the next day to tell me from September 2017 my teaching hours will be reduced again and consequently my salary will go down.
Two of my work colleagues who replaced my lessons very clumisly informed my students the reasons why i was absent, right down to the most private details ( place/cause of my dad's death). My boss had told them!
One teacher even gave out to one of my sixth form classes my personal email address and told them that i wanted them to send me (for homework) personalised condoleance cards written off course in English!!!)). The same teacher then claimed, in front of the head of year, that i'd asked her to do this. She repeatedly refused to apologise for the distress this caused me and even sent a mail to colleagues moaning about my sensé of humour!!!!
In fact my students have shown incredible compassion and none actually sent me the card. They bought a card and all wrote wonderful messages of support. Parents have also offered their condoleances. Numerous parents have given me cards and one even gave me a hug!!!
Then last week the ex announced via her lawyer she wasn't going to share the kid's educational costs anymore. She has to according to the divorce contract so another court battle is looming.She also wants full custody!
The French MIL did send me some text messages in which she sent her condoleances but not appologising for her previous behaviour towards me.
At school my work colleagues blabbed all sorts of rumours about my relationship with my dad, one even told another of my groups that my dad had died from worry and stress caused by my behaviour, someone else spread a rumour that my dad took his own life etc.
The headmistress hasn't even bothered to ask me how i am, although others in the sixth form have. She ignores me and the boss has also dumped extra exam marking on me from my colleagues who replaced me.
Finally, my boss refuses to give me no more than 3 days leave to go up to Newcastle to my dad's funeral which is in a week's time. Under French law i'm allowed a maximum of 3 days in France plus 2 more to go abroard. The union rep at school had to tell her of thé conséquences if she sacked me if i took more than 3 days leave. The head of English is threatening to sack me if i take 5 days off to go to England.
The plane tickets for myself and my two children are too expensive so i'll drive up to Newcastle and back.
By last Wednesday i'd had enough and went to see my GP'. She's given me some sleeping pills and put me off work for a week.
I
On the following Sunday i'd planned to phone him back and get everything off my chest about our relationship. I didn't because an old university friend called me out of the blue.
Sunday night i went to bed about 11pm and was woken at 12.30am by a call on my mobile phone which i thought was my dad, but in fact was my step mum's brother announcing the sad news that my dad had just died from a suspected massive heart attack in his house. My step mum had heard him go to the bathroom and then he'd collapsed.
The coroner's report stated that he hadn't suffered at all.
The last 3 weeks have been hell. Terrible regrets that i didn't call my dad back on the Sunday afternoon the day he died.
Secondly, after taking the Monday off work and informing the school where i work why, my boss called me in to meeting the next day to tell me from September 2017 my teaching hours will be reduced again and consequently my salary will go down.
Two of my work colleagues who replaced my lessons very clumisly informed my students the reasons why i was absent, right down to the most private details ( place/cause of my dad's death). My boss had told them!
One teacher even gave out to one of my sixth form classes my personal email address and told them that i wanted them to send me (for homework) personalised condoleance cards written off course in English!!!)). The same teacher then claimed, in front of the head of year, that i'd asked her to do this. She repeatedly refused to apologise for the distress this caused me and even sent a mail to colleagues moaning about my sensé of humour!!!!
In fact my students have shown incredible compassion and none actually sent me the card. They bought a card and all wrote wonderful messages of support. Parents have also offered their condoleances. Numerous parents have given me cards and one even gave me a hug!!!
Then last week the ex announced via her lawyer she wasn't going to share the kid's educational costs anymore. She has to according to the divorce contract so another court battle is looming.She also wants full custody!
The French MIL did send me some text messages in which she sent her condoleances but not appologising for her previous behaviour towards me.
At school my work colleagues blabbed all sorts of rumours about my relationship with my dad, one even told another of my groups that my dad had died from worry and stress caused by my behaviour, someone else spread a rumour that my dad took his own life etc.
The headmistress hasn't even bothered to ask me how i am, although others in the sixth form have. She ignores me and the boss has also dumped extra exam marking on me from my colleagues who replaced me.
Finally, my boss refuses to give me no more than 3 days leave to go up to Newcastle to my dad's funeral which is in a week's time. Under French law i'm allowed a maximum of 3 days in France plus 2 more to go abroard. The union rep at school had to tell her of thé conséquences if she sacked me if i took more than 3 days leave. The head of English is threatening to sack me if i take 5 days off to go to England.
The plane tickets for myself and my two children are too expensive so i'll drive up to Newcastle and back.
By last Wednesday i'd had enough and went to see my GP'. She's given me some sleeping pills and put me off work for a week.
I
Edited by rosbif77 on Sunday 27th November 08:13
Edited by rosbif77 on Sunday 27th November 08:49
Edited by rosbif77 on Sunday 27th November 13:55
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff