My fiancé isn't interested in sex any more.
Discussion
dai1983 said:
grumbledoak said:
You need to talk to her. I certainly wouldn't be going ahead with the marriage until this is resolved.
This x a million. Sounds like a similar situation to me but we've been together since 2009 and married since 2011. Had three months of awesome sex then down hill from there which is st. Got married hoping things would change and her PND would get sorted. Not a day goes by where I wish I wasn't here but we don't actually argue and I know id hardly see my son.Does she get all defensive and distant when you mention it?
What a mess .
Your relationship clearly has serious problems and, for both your sakes, any plans to marry should be postponed indefinitely until you have addressed and resolved these problems together.
It sounds like you need to get some form of counselling to help you work through the situation, starting with the most fundamental question : do you both actually want to be together?
Good luck.
Your relationship clearly has serious problems and, for both your sakes, any plans to marry should be postponed indefinitely until you have addressed and resolved these problems together.
It sounds like you need to get some form of counselling to help you work through the situation, starting with the most fundamental question : do you both actually want to be together?
Good luck.
Edited by Bradgate on Sunday 10th August 18:15
Have to ask the rude question: Do you actually love her? Because that's not coming across. You had a few dates, barely saw each other then a surprise baby came along. It doesn't sound like either one of you have built much of a relationship at all, where/when/why did the engagement occur in all this? It sounds like you're closer to being strangers than in a loving long-term relationship, which is why she is rejecting sex, try taking her and your daughter out for a few days without asking anything in return, then she may open up a bit. As soon as you start thinking you're doing this in exchange for sex though, you've already lost.
It's an uphill struggle if you want to make this work I'm afraid.
It's an uphill struggle if you want to make this work I'm afraid.
Xaero said:
Have to ask the rude question: Do you actually love her? Because that's not coming across. You had a few dates, barely saw each other then a surprise baby came along. It doesn't sound like either one of you have built much of a relationship at all, where/when/why did the engagement occur in all this? It sounds like you're closer to being strangers than in a loving long-term relationship, which is why she is rejecting sex, try taking her and your daughter out for a few days without asking anything in return, then she may open up a bit. As soon as you start thinking you're doing this in exchange for sex though, you've already lost.
It's an uphill struggle if you want to make this work I'm afraid.
I agree with this.It's an uphill struggle if you want to make this work I'm afraid.
If there had never been a baby, would you have stayed together after those 3-4 dates?
Also and I don't want to be offensive but do you know absolutely that the baby is yours? Statistically getting pregnant first time etc is ridiculously small. Most couples take a year to get pregnant when actually trying to have a baby. I'm not saying things like that don't happen but it's damn coincidental if you ask me.
I hope you get it sorted but sometimes you have to break something down to build something better, as hard as that may be.
Also and I don't want to be offensive but do you know absolutely that the baby is yours? Statistically getting pregnant first time etc is ridiculously small. Most couples take a year to get pregnant when actually trying to have a baby. I'm not saying things like that don't happen but it's damn coincidental if you ask me.
I hope you get it sorted but sometimes you have to break something down to build something better, as hard as that may be.
dai1983 said:
Sounds like a similar situation to me but we've been together since 2009 and married since 2011. Had three months of awesome sex then down hill from there which is st. Got married hoping things would change and her PND would get sorted. Not a day goes by where I wish I wasn't here but we don't actually argue and I know id hardly see my son.
You know it's possible to bobble along like that for 20 years? A surprising number of people do, because it seems to hard to break up. Life is once only though, sort it or end it.Does she work or is she 100% with the baby? Does she have a good support network? Friends with babies etc.. It's tough for a mother if all her life is is babies, poo, sick and the constant chasing after them for you to come home and bother her about sex.
I too have a 1 year the little man is in nursery 3 times a week and it's still flat out for both of us were nackered come the weekend.
I too have a 1 year the little man is in nursery 3 times a week and it's still flat out for both of us were nackered come the weekend.
pad58 said:
Xaero said:
Have to ask the rude question: Do you actually love her? Because that's not coming across. You had a few dates, barely saw each other then a surprise baby came along. It doesn't sound like either one of you have built much of a relationship at all, where/when/why did the engagement occur in all this? It sounds like you're closer to being strangers than in a loving long-term relationship, which is why she is rejecting sex, try taking her and your daughter out for a few days without asking anything in return, then she may open up a bit. As soon as you start thinking you're doing this in exchange for sex though, you've already lost.
It's an uphill struggle if you want to make this work I'm afraid.
I agree with this.It's an uphill struggle if you want to make this work I'm afraid.
Seriously, if you can sort baby-sitting out, just go out in the day for a walk and a coffee or lunch and talk, talk lots, you need to really get to know, and like each other first imho.
I do hope it works out well.
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